I have no idea if the weekly thread contest is going on, but if it is, you guys have got to give it to Jim for this one! I dont think a winner has to necessarily refer to sports, a good laugh is important now and then!
BOYS MY WIFE JUST WENT CRAZY ON ME SHE WANTS TO KNOW HOW A 43 YEAR OLD MAN COULD LEAVE THE LAWN HALF DONE THEN GO ON HIS COMPUTER AND TALK TO A BUNCH OF FOOLS AS OUR LAWNMOWER IS BEING STOLEN.I AM DUE 1300 DOLLARS FOR ALLOWANCES AND BUSINESS EXPENSES THE 1ST OF THE MONTH.
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY BUT IS THERE A SPORTSBOOK WHO WILL ACCEPT MY 1300 DOLLARS BUT HERES THE CATCH I WANT THE FULL 1300 FOR GAMBLING PURPOSES BUT I WANT TO KNOW IF A SPORTSBOOK WOULD TAKE MY BONUS MONEY AND HAVE HOME DEPOT DELIVER A BRAND NEW BRIGGS AND STRATTON LAWNMOWER SO I CAN PUT IT ON MY BOOKS AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE SO HONEY PIE WILL STOP YELLING AT ME.I KNOW DEAR I AM SORRY HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT DUMB F-CK NEXT DOOR WOULD LET A COLORED GUY STEAL OUR LAWNMOWER DONT WORRY DEAR I WILL BUY A NEW ONE OUT OF MY ALLOWANCE NOW LEAVE ME ALONE I AM TALKING TO A SHRINK.
I SEND OURT 1500 DOLLARS COLD CASH I GET 20% BONUS I FULLFILL ALL THE REQUIREMENTS.ALL I ASK IS THAT A LAWNMOWER IS BOUT WITH THE 250 DOLLAR BONUS MONEY.I JUST WENT TO HOME DEPOT I CAN GET A BRAND NEW BRIGGS AND STRATTON FOR 149.99 WITH TAX 152.99 AND THE DELIVERY FEE IS 20.00 DOLLARS SO ALL I AM ASKING FOR IS A NEW LAWNMOWER AND WE HAVE A DEAL.THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW OFFSHORE THE PLAYERS ASK FOR A GIFT INSTEAD OF THE BONUS MONEY.THINK ABOUT IT SPORTSBOOKS INSTEAD OF SENDING THE GUYS 300 DOLLARS IN BONUS MONEY YOU COULD BUY THEM A NEW BIG BERTHA DRIVER AND EVERYBODY ID HAPPY I REALLY LIKE THIS CONCEPT.THE GAMBLER PLAYS OF HIS INITIAL DEPOSIT AND THE BONUS MONEY GOES FOR A GIFT.O.K. I WILL TAKE BROWNIE FOR A WALK DEAR JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE I WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE SHRINK
WOW THE LOOK SHE JUST GAVE ME.SO THINK ABOUT IT FELLAS I HAVE TO RUN OUT AGAIN MAN THIS DOG IS GETTING TO BE A PAIN IN THE ARSE
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY BUT IS THERE A SPORTSBOOK WHO WILL ACCEPT MY 1300 DOLLARS BUT HERES THE CATCH I WANT THE FULL 1300 FOR GAMBLING PURPOSES BUT I WANT TO KNOW IF A SPORTSBOOK WOULD TAKE MY BONUS MONEY AND HAVE HOME DEPOT DELIVER A BRAND NEW BRIGGS AND STRATTON LAWNMOWER SO I CAN PUT IT ON MY BOOKS AS A BUSINESS EXPENSE SO HONEY PIE WILL STOP YELLING AT ME.I KNOW DEAR I AM SORRY HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT DUMB F-CK NEXT DOOR WOULD LET A COLORED GUY STEAL OUR LAWNMOWER DONT WORRY DEAR I WILL BUY A NEW ONE OUT OF MY ALLOWANCE NOW LEAVE ME ALONE I AM TALKING TO A SHRINK.
I SEND OURT 1500 DOLLARS COLD CASH I GET 20% BONUS I FULLFILL ALL THE REQUIREMENTS.ALL I ASK IS THAT A LAWNMOWER IS BOUT WITH THE 250 DOLLAR BONUS MONEY.I JUST WENT TO HOME DEPOT I CAN GET A BRAND NEW BRIGGS AND STRATTON FOR 149.99 WITH TAX 152.99 AND THE DELIVERY FEE IS 20.00 DOLLARS SO ALL I AM ASKING FOR IS A NEW LAWNMOWER AND WE HAVE A DEAL.THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING NEW OFFSHORE THE PLAYERS ASK FOR A GIFT INSTEAD OF THE BONUS MONEY.THINK ABOUT IT SPORTSBOOKS INSTEAD OF SENDING THE GUYS 300 DOLLARS IN BONUS MONEY YOU COULD BUY THEM A NEW BIG BERTHA DRIVER AND EVERYBODY ID HAPPY I REALLY LIKE THIS CONCEPT.THE GAMBLER PLAYS OF HIS INITIAL DEPOSIT AND THE BONUS MONEY GOES FOR A GIFT.O.K. I WILL TAKE BROWNIE FOR A WALK DEAR JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE I WANT TO SAY GOODBYE TO THE SHRINK
This would be even more funny if it was a riding lawn mower. I have this scene playing through my head of the guy in the video, "pretty fly for a white guy" walking up to an expensive john deere, turning the key and driving it down the road.
Sucks to have stuff stolen but at least it wasn't a $2K riding mower. Cough up the buck to buy a new one.
This time put an alarm on it
Sucks to have stuff stolen but at least it wasn't a $2K riding mower. Cough up the buck to buy a new one.
This time put an alarm on it
Beantown Jim <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> .I KNOW DEAR I AM SORRY HOW WAS I TO KNOW THAT DUMB F-CK NEXT DOOR WOULD LET A COLORED GUY STEAL OUR LAWNMOWER DONT WORRY DEAR I WILL BUY A NEW ONE OUT OF MY ALLOWANCE <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Jim, this is hilarious. I have sometimes questioned your threads and posts on here, but this one alone has won me over~!
This is no doubt the funni
est thread I have ever read here!
Jim, this is hilarious. I have sometimes questioned your threads and posts on here, but this one alone has won me over~!
