Some of you guys are pure idiots. Why hijack the op thread with your nonsense and back and forth bickering. This guy is asking for help and advice and all you douche bags are concerned about is which of you has the biggest cock on this forum. Get the fuck over yourselves and take your cackling hen routine elsewhere.
Start your own thread, call it the cackling cocks and have at it.
Now on to the op...........
It's time to get the lawyer and start drawing up the papers for not only divorce but custody of your children. By your last two posts, it would seem your spouse is unfaithful, not stable and only cares for herself. If you are as you say you are, then cut your losses NOW rather than later. Do all of the lawyer stuff without her knowing and once completed then drop the bomb on her. She won't see it coming (pardon the pun) and you being the responsible one come out smelling like a rose. I certainly wouldn't want to see her get the kids and you pay alimony and child support. It will only help the new guy get it all the more.
Good luck bro.