When I was 21 I got my online bankroll up to 2,997 from betting on the nba playoffs which was a lot for me then. I had won something like 17 of my last 20 games ATS and was feeling great. At the time it was the highest I had ever grown my roll by betting on sports.
I wanted to go to sleep with it at a nice even 3,000. So I bet $3 on red in the online roulette. It lost so then I bet 6. It lost so then I bet 12. Before I knew it I lost every penny of the 2997 and it was right up there with the sickest feelings of my life because I knew how incredibly stupid my actions were. Haven't touched an online casino since.
the feeling is so sick it's almost indescribable, your body is literally in shock.. just totally shaking and mentally you are destroyed. you put all this good work into capping your sports and playing pretty selectively where you really value each sports bet.
and then the next minute you are betting amounts on BJ that are equal to (or even bigger) than your sports bets. there does come the moment where you realize "what am i doing? i'm placing bets for amounts that i totally scrutinize myself for when it comes to sports, but now it's ok for BJ?". suddenly all discipline is completely out the window. worst part of all, it's not like you're playing bad BJ, you're playing it 'by the book'.
and then once the losing starts and snowballs, your only goal at that point is to get your balance back to where it was before you started playing BJ - i.e. your peak balance for just betting sports. you won't quit until it's back. then you cross the point of no return where you've now lost all your profits and you're back to your initial deposit amount. then you realize everything that you just worked so hard on for so long during sports is all gone and you can't imagine starting all over again and trying to build it back up. you're just exhausted at that point.
so you just continue betting disgusting amounts on each hand of BJ thinking if you just win like 4 in a row, you're back to a nice roll again. what happens at that point is you get a great double down hand only for the dealer to make an impossible 21. you only have enough left for one bet at that point and you don't even want to win it. you just want the horrible nightmare to be over.. you're completely numb and of course you lose it. that's how it's happened to me every single time, it's as if it's been scripted.