hahaha I wish...unfortunately, being a hideous beast, you don't get many opportunities to get with hot bitches.
I do have some funny stories/moments with bitches, though. Or at least moments that some other people thought were funny. I'm not sure anything will top the outrageous night I posted about in the RR, though. Easily the most ridiculous night of my life...that I wasn't blacked out for.
One time, when I was visiting my brother at ND, we had pregamed heavily and then headed to some club. I was definitely good and hammered. Some random girl walks up to me and calls me by my brother's name. I really don't care, but I figure I can parlay this into a free drink or something, so I proceed to act like I was actually offended. I told her that I wasn't my brother, and that she had really hurt my feelings, etc etc etc. I then demand that she buy me a drink, which she does. Now this slut was really horny and seemed decently wasted, so within minutes we were fucking around on some couch. She suggested that we go back to her place, so we do.
So we're fucking around, and I've got my hand down in between her legs, and notice that she hasn't been taking good care of the lawn. So being the moron that I am, I say, "You should really think about shaving."
The best part of the story was her response: "I don't have anyone to shave for...what are you doing tomorrow night?"
It took every ounce of effort in me to not laugh my ass off right then and there. Instead, I said something like "that sucks...I gotta go to the bathroom." And never answered her question.
Another highlight from sometime last summer was when I had gone out with some co-workers to happy hour and some bar afterwards. I got really fucking wasted and drove home drunk...something I don't remember doing. I actually woke up the next morning wondering where the fuck my car was. I then went down to the garage and saw that it was there. That was a relief.
But anyway, so when I got home, I called this slut (same one who ruined my mattress in the aforementioned RR thread) and told her to come over. It was like 3:30 a.m. when I called her. So she obliged and drove all the way over to the house, a 30 minute drive. Now, let me remind you that this is the summer, so I'm back at my mom's home. So when she gets there, I sneak her in from the back of the house. We immediately start fucking around. Despite the fact that I'm suffering from a severe case of whiskey dick, I still manage to persevere and get off within 15 minutes of her arriving at the house.
After I'm done, we're laying on the bed for a minute...and then I tell her that my mom is getting up early to go to work, and that she needs to leave. She does, with no hesitation.
I'm sure I come off like a complete prick, but I'd really NEVER treat any woman that I actually cared about like this. Unfortunately for these two winners, I do not care about them at all. And not caring is one of the most powerful states of mind one can have, no joke. It allows one to do or say ANYTHING.
But yeah, I'm sure there are a ton of posters on here with some incredible fuck stories. That would make for a good Rubber Room thread.
Nope. In general, I have a policy about even messing around with a bigger girl.
Which is outrageous, considering that a guy who looks like me should really have the lowest of low standards. Shit makes no sense.
I actually wish I had lower standards...then maybe I could get some ass on a regular basis. Unfortunately, I don't, because I'm an idiot. It sucks.
hahahahahahaha
It's definitely gay for the dog...so I'm all for it.
I'll pose a question to you, jake: someone offers to give you a million dollars. The only catch is that he's going to pay you in $1 bills, and each one is individually wrapped around a big black guy's dick...and you have to get each bill with your mouth.
You do it?
Oh, and you have to let a gay male dog lick peanut butter off your testicles while you do it.
I hear ya about the whole caring thing. It aggravates the hell outta me when I care about shit that I know I shouldn't, logically speaking. It's fuckin annoying.
As for your question...realistic? That's tough. I used to think being a beat writer for the Skins, or something like that, would be awesome. But having dealt with beat writers for the past few months and seeing what they do and observing, it doesn't seem as great as I first thought. I'd still beg for a job like that, but it wouldn't be as INCREDIBLE as I would've thought a few years ago.
I'd love to be a columnist. The freedom to write about pretty much whatever you want, getting to pick and choose where you travel, etc., that'd be sweet. So yeah, I'd probably choose that.
Or, a TV analyst for CBB. I would absolutely love a job like that. But that's not realistic.
Never getting a solid job, working at Subway, and moving in with some family member is the most realistic possibility. Go me.
Not seriously. Apparently that shit is expensive as fuck, and doesn't add a whole lot. Plus, at least this way, if I ever get married I'll know that the girl wants me for ME...although my general hideousness should verify that anyway.
And if not, there are always hookers, right Q? I'll have to come talk to you if I ever go down that road, since you're the expert...gotta share some of that vast knowledge.
1) what do you aspire to be in your working career? I initially aspired to be a sports writer (still do)...but really, I just want to be happy doing whatever it is I end up doing. I'm not going to restrict myself to a certain industry, especially when so many college graduates can't find good jobs these days. I need to graduate first, though...which is a problem, considering how fucking lazy I am.
But yeah, something in the sports industry, in some capacity, is preferable, because it is there that I can see myself being the most happy in life.
2) have you ever been arrested? Nope, never been arrested...although I fully expect to be arrested someday on charges of child molestation.
3) what do you consider to be success? I personally consider success the feeling of accomplishment and/or happiness with whatever one is trying to "succeed" at. Success is very subjective. For instance, I could consider one who has a family who loves him, and generally enjoys his life, to be successful. But someone else could consider that person a failure if he works a 9-5 job and doesn't make much $. So it just depends. But for me, being happy and satisfied with your life and whatever it is you're trying to be successful at, whether it be life, work, a relationship, gambling, etc., that's success to me.
4) whom do you admire most in your life? I don't know that there's any one person whom I admire most. Rather, there are a lot of people who fall under a category that I admire: those who dedicate their lives to making others' lives better. Volunteers, people in the peace corps, doctors who instead of practicing, join Doctors Without Borders, etc. those people are who I admire.
I think that, in general, people are inherently selfish. In general, it takes effort to complete an unselfish act. So for someone to literally devote his entire life, almost every action, to helping someone else without expecting to receive anything in return, that is truly remarkable to me...because it goes against every selfish bone in one's body.
It's one thing to do something unselfish for a loved one. That's different. But to do something, even one minor thing, for a complete stranger, that takes effort. And to devote your entire life to doing that, it's just an amazing thing.
5) is there anyone on the rx you admire? I think "admire" is too strong a word for me to use for anyone I know on the Rx. I've made some good friends on here, and there are posters who I have the utmost respect for...but to say I admire someone, I'd have to say no. But that's more a product of my definition of "admire" than anything else. But yeah, I truly respect some posters on here, and that is a big deal to me. Respect is earned, and I don't just give it out to any random person who says "good luck." I feel like I'm a good judge of character, so to get a sense of someone's character, who they really are, and still respect them, that's a big deal to me.
