HC if you knew the amount of cocaine I've done in my life you would be shocked. In 2009 I went from 160lbs to 130lbs. I literally did it every other day for a year. This last stint of 7 months I was buying $100-150 5 times a week. I was texting my dealer and asking if we could meet up every time at 6 because that's when he got off work and thinking God I don't want to do this. I would literally have to pull over sometimes on my way to get it just to throw up. My body was craving it and not wanting it at the same time. I'm an addict dude. I'd love to say I'm not trust me, but I would be lying to myself. I just feel I can control it.
Also, re: alcohol and taking it or leaving it, or one drink not leading back down the slope. My body chemistry is just far different than that of a non-alcoholic. I know this to be the case through hundreds (or more) self-conducted experiments. I know this through my vast experience with my own body.
If I get drunk just once I have unbearable, medically dangerous withdrawals. I know cause I've been sober for 6 months or longer and gotten drunk ONE TIME and been immediately back in the throws of the withdrawal/self-medication cycle. That to me is what it means to be an alcoholic.
I have lots of friends that binge drink 4+ nights a week and I don't consider them alcoholics, at least not in the physical sense.
So when I get drunk I have to stay drunk, or do a medically aided/supervised detox. That is not "normal" and that is not because I'm a weak willed person.
If I get drunk just once I have unbearable, medically dangerous withdrawals. I know cause I've been sober for 6 months or longer and gotten drunk ONE TIME and been immediately back in the throws of the withdrawal/self-medication cycle. That to me is what it means to be an alcoholic.
I have lots of friends that binge drink 4+ nights a week and I don't consider them alcoholics, at least not in the physical sense.
So when I get drunk I have to stay drunk, or do a medically aided/supervised detox. That is not "normal" and that is not because I'm a weak willed person.
When I was having that convo above with gremlin earlier I was at my gym. All this cocaine talk made me want to get some. I text my dealer once I left the gym and he said he won't be home until 11:30. I was having a huge braving for it. He text me back about 40 minutes ago and said he won't have any until Sat and I daid np. Can't get it....craving gone. What's the point. I can take a picture of the text hang on.
Haha I believe you dude. It's all good. If you have some kind of borderline addiction but can still manage your life, more power to you. I would do it too if I could find any possible way to do it, but dozens of experiments have failed and I finally gave up.
Wish you the best man. Do a line and have a cold one for me.
it's all semantics of course, but I don't like the term 'disease' either. The individual has a HABITUAL problem. His brain's reward system is getting use to the chemical and wants it. Just like those who want nicotine, sugar, etc.
guaranteed way to CURE this 'disease'? move to a place that does not have the chemical. You have no way to get it,
.'disease' cured................
now if the individual could see thru that lens, he'd realize how much true mental power HE has. He's making a choice.
You have an issue with me talking shit to the Angels Bullpen? How many people talk shit about athletes from the comfort of their own living room or over the Internet? It goes on in here 100 times daily. I just so happened to talk shit in person. Get off your high horse. No one likes a judgmental hypocrite who drives for uber.
