Or maybe your opinion is bullshit? ---> "single men have mortality rates 250% higher than married men "
The Case for Marriage: Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially
Posted on October 23, 2010 by Richard Niolon PhD
The Case for Marriage
Why Married People Are Happier, Healthier, and Better off Financially
by Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher
Review by Richard Niolon
This is an excellent source of information for the married couple on the benefits of marriage, and why it is not the same as “living together.” they provide a wealth of statistics, sound reasoning to explain them, and detailed readings into 100s of published studies to make sense of the impact of marriage. However, while the authors avoid taking a stand in this book on the impact of marriage for gay and lesbian couples, and only acknowledge that it is a point for controversy, Maggie Gallagher has been quite outspoken against it. Prejudice aside, the work is still quite good and a basic reference in this area. They argue that the promise of permanency is what makes marriage more of a beneficial relationship than simply living together. This allows each to direct their resources to different areas, to specialize in some areas while the other specializes in other areas. Instead of having to be proficient in all areas, they can divide up their responsibilities and accomplish more by working together.
What’s So Great About Marriage?
Waite and Gallagher offer several answers:
- Better Financial Picture
The old saying “Two can live as cheaply as one” isn’t exactly true. Two do appear to be able to live as cheaply as one and a half persons, though. That means sharing furniture, food, insurance benefits, a car, etc…. And, when one person becomes ill, loses his or her job, or needs emotional support due to stressors, the spouse is there to help. This is cheaper too, as in home nurses, credit card debt, and therapists cost more. Married men are more successful in work as well, getting promoted more often and receiving higher performance appraisals. They also miss work or arrive late less often (Kostiuk and Follman, 1989, and Shaw, 1987). As for women, white married women (without children) earn 4% more and black married women earn 10% more than their single peers (Waite, 1995). While some point out that house work for married women (37 hours per week) is greater than that of single women (25 hours), half of that is due to having children (South and Spitze, 1994). - Longer Life
Married people live longer as well. Single men have mortality rates that are 250% higher than married men. Single women have mortality rates that are 50% higher than married women (Ross et all, 1990). Having a spouse can decrease your risk for dying from cancer as much as knocking ten years off your life. Single people spend longer in the hospital, and have a greater risk of dying after surgery (Goodwin et al, 1987). Married women are 30% more likely to rate their health as excellent or very good compared to single women, and 40% less likely to rate their health as only fair or poor compared to single women. Based on life expectancies, nine of ten married men and women alive at age 48 are alive at 65, while only six of ten single men and eight of ten single women make it to 65. Married men may have better immune systems as well, either from support or from nagging to monitor blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, etc… and may be at less risk to catch colds (Cohen et al, 1997) - Better Mental Health
Married men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Widowed men under 45 are nine times more likely to commit suicide as married men (Smith, Mercy, and Conn, 1988). Married people report lower levels of depression and distress, and 40% say they are very happy with their lives, compared to about 25% in single people. Married people were half as likely to say they were unhappy with their lives. Single men drink twice as much as married men, and one out of four say their drinking causes problems. Only one of seven married men says the same. One out of six single men abstains from alcohol, but one in four married men do (Miller-Tutzauer et al, 1991). - Greater safety
- Studies assessing risk for violence are sometimes used to indicate that women, by being married, are at risk for violence. Waite and Gallagher counter that many studies treat husbands, boyfriends, paramours, and ex-partners all the same. Thus, “wife battering” should be separated from domestic abuse, and wife battering should refer only to abuse in the context of a marriage. Studies also do not distinguish between domestic violence and abuse. Waite and Gallagher offer that domestic violence should refer to those cases in which an argument escalates, one or both partners instigate the violence with equal likelihood, and then afterward feel bad about the incident and find ways not to repeat it. Such incidents might happen once or twice over the course of the relationship. Domestic abuse should refer to those cases in which the violence is frequent, typically instigated by one partner only, and is used to coerce and control a partner. Thus, Jacobson and Gottman say, “Women are virtually as likely to be killed by husbands, ex-husbands, boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends as by strangers.” This would not indicate marriage is the risk factor.
- When it comes to violence, wives are five times less likely than single or divorced women to be victims of crime, and husbands are four times less likely (Kellerman, 1994; Bachman, 1994). Further, in that study, 8% of wives and 6% of husbands reported their arguments became physical in the last year. Of the wives who reported physical altercations with their husbands, 18% reported significant harm (e.g., cut, bruised, or seriously injured) for themselves and 7% for their husbands. Thus, Waite and Gallagher conclude, less than 2% of wives and less than 1% of husbands are abused by the common definition each year.
- They also noted that about 5% of rapes in 1992 to 1993 were committed by husbands, 21% by ex-spouses, boyfriends, and ex-boyfriends, and 56% by an acquaintance, friend, or relative. Similarly, killings are more likely to happen to unmarried cohabitating women than married women. Thus, cohabitators are more likely to experience violence than married women (Jackson, 1996).
- Better Sex
About 40% of married people have sex twice a week, compared to 20-25% of single and cohabitating men and women. Over 40% of married women said their sex life was emotionally and physically satisfying, compared to about 30% of single women. For men, it’s 50% of married men are physically and emotionally contents versus 38% of cohabitating men.
