You can tell you've had too much of the new millennium when...
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask "Wanna go for a drink?" and they reply "Yeah, give me five minutes".
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America,but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
8. You consider US Mail painfully slow and call it "snailmail".
9. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
10. You hear all good jokes via email instead of in person.
11. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone with your company's name.
12. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.
14. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
15. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise. (You have got to be kidding!)
17. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.
18. Temps in your department outnumber permanent staff and are more
likely to get long-service awards.
19. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
20. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
21. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
22. The intern gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
23. Being sick is defined as 'you can't walk' or 'you're in the hospital'.
24. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
25. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
26. Your boss's favorite lines are: When you've got a few minutes...Could you fit this in?...in your spare time...when you're freed up...I know you're busy but...I have an opportunity for you.
27. Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because
someone you didn't even know had started is leaving.
28. You wonder who's going to be left to put into your 'leaving' collection.
29. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
30. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desk.
31. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
32. You've run out of family member's birthdays to use for all of the
ATM and banking PINs, email passwords, computer codes, and voicemail IDs you need to remember.
33. You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
34. As you read this list, you thought about forwarding it to your
"friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.
35. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list
already, but you can't be bothered to check so you forward it anyway.
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask "Wanna go for a drink?" and they reply "Yeah, give me five minutes".
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America,but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
8. You consider US Mail painfully slow and call it "snailmail".
9. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
10. You hear all good jokes via email instead of in person.
11. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone with your company's name.
12. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three
different companies.
14. Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
15. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise. (You have got to be kidding!)
17. Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.
18. Temps in your department outnumber permanent staff and are more
likely to get long-service awards.
19. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
20. It's dark when you drive to and from work.
21. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
22. The intern gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
23. Being sick is defined as 'you can't walk' or 'you're in the hospital'.
24. You're already late on the assignment you just got.
25. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
26. Your boss's favorite lines are: When you've got a few minutes...Could you fit this in?...in your spare time...when you're freed up...I know you're busy but...I have an opportunity for you.
27. Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because
someone you didn't even know had started is leaving.
28. You wonder who's going to be left to put into your 'leaving' collection.
29. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers".
30. The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desk.
31. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
32. You've run out of family member's birthdays to use for all of the
ATM and banking PINs, email passwords, computer codes, and voicemail IDs you need to remember.
33. You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
34. As you read this list, you thought about forwarding it to your
"friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.
35. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list
already, but you can't be bothered to check so you forward it anyway.
