"Thanks for calling SHRINK’S Mental Institute of Health, the healthy choice for your moments of greater insanity. ...
•If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1, repeatedly.
•If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
•If you suffer of a multiple personality disorder, press numbers 3, 4, 5 and 6.
•If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, we know what you do and we know what you want, so please wait in line while we track this call.
•If you suffer from hallucinations, press 7 in that gigantic red phone that you -and you alone- see on your right.
•If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice in your head will tell you what number you should press.
•If you are depressive, it does not matter what number you press, nothing that we do will manage to take you out of your lamentable, sorry ass situation.
•If you suffer from amnesia, press 8 and loud and clear, please say your name, address, home/office/cell phone and fax numbers, your NSS, date of birth, civil state and your mother’s maiden name.
•If you suffer from an indecisive state of mind, leave your message after the tone... or before the tone. ... or after the tone. ... or during the tone. In every case, wait for the tone.
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9.
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9
•If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are on the phone with people that matter, people that are more important than you.
"THANKS"
WTF???
•If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1, repeatedly.
•If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
•If you suffer of a multiple personality disorder, press numbers 3, 4, 5 and 6.
•If you are paranoid, we already know who you are, we know what you do and we know what you want, so please wait in line while we track this call.
•If you suffer from hallucinations, press 7 in that gigantic red phone that you -and you alone- see on your right.
•If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice in your head will tell you what number you should press.
•If you are depressive, it does not matter what number you press, nothing that we do will manage to take you out of your lamentable, sorry ass situation.
•If you suffer from amnesia, press 8 and loud and clear, please say your name, address, home/office/cell phone and fax numbers, your NSS, date of birth, civil state and your mother’s maiden name.
•If you suffer from an indecisive state of mind, leave your message after the tone... or before the tone. ... or after the tone. ... or during the tone. In every case, wait for the tone.
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9.
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9
•If you suffer from loss of short-term memory, press 9
•If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are on the phone with people that matter, people that are more important than you.
"THANKS"
WTF???
