WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

THE SHRINK · Jul 7, 2003

GEORGE W. BUSH:

We do not really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Either the chicken is with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:

Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road . . .

HANZ BLIX:

We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador):

The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We do not even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN:

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RUSH LIMBAUGH:

I do not know why the chicken crossed the road, but I will bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I will bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I am talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

RALPH NADER:

The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

MARTHA STEWART:

No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL:

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That is what they call it --the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. In addition, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out the abomination that the liberal media white- washes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

RONALD REAGAN:

What chicken?

BILL CLINTON:

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS:

I missed one.

Banned4Life · Jul 7, 2003

Because the road crossed the chicken.

*****

We'll never know, the chicken got run over by a truck before he made it across.

Dante · Jul 7, 2003

easy:

to get to the other side

HABSMAN · Jul 7, 2003

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... Well, I guess we finally answered "THAT question!"

DickyW · Jul 7, 2003

Why did the pervert cross the road?

Could'nt get his dick out of the chicken

max1234 · Jul 7, 2003

Why did the chicken in SoCal cross the road?

Railbird was trying to convert it. Would you stay on the same side of the road in this case?

TheGeneral+ · Jul 7, 2003

IntuitionBET · Jul 7, 2003

The chicken crossed the road BECAUSE the Roster had banged it too many times that day and she needed a break

Cock-a-Doodle-Doo baby let's do it again....hey don't run away...

RPM · Jul 7, 2003

SuperWimp · Jul 7, 2003

PREGUNTA:

Por que el pollo cruzo la carretera?

RESPUESTAS:

Profesor de primaria: porque quería llegar al otro lado.

Karl Marx: Era una inevitabilidad histórica

Laura Camacho: Porque se llama bush y no tiene la menor idea de lo que esta haciendo

Pedro Alvarado: What matters to me is not the ****ing chicken making it across the road, it the question of WHY did I think the mother****er not making it across at +350 was a safe bet.

Dora: porque esta en la biblia

Bill Clinton: El pollo no cruzo la carretera, repito… el pollo NO cruzo la carretera

Maquiavelo: La cuestión es que el pollo cruzo la carretera. A quien le importa el por que?? El fin de cruzar la carretera justifica cualquier motivo.

Emil: Porque oyó que del otro lado las gallinas son unas zorras, ricas todas.

Arik: cual pollo? o / , Porque oyo que habian gi joes en oferta del otro lado. o / , porque esteee… esteeee

Bopo: porque estaba huyendo de mi

Fox Mulder: No se descarta influencia alien.

Dana Scully: Es científicamente improbable.

Hugo: Porque mi papa no sabe que hacer con sus trillones y me mando a estudiar por un año a la cordon-blue en paris donde conocí a un mae riquisimo y millonarisimo que es modelo y me llevo a vivir a su mansión-castillo del siglo 7000 antes de cristo en la riviera francesa donde, por supuesto, entonces me tenia que comprar un yate pero mi laptop versión 3532-super trim huggies D, no conecta bien a las computadoras ticas entonces tuve que mandar al pollo a que le avisara a mi papi que me mande plata.

Figueres: sinceramente….no lo recuerdo

Bush: Why? Why?... Who cares why, that can only mean one thing, all of the chickens are terrorist and we should attack China…... You see CHIcken = CHIna… there you go.

Sigmund Freud: El hecho de que estas preocupado porque el pollo cruza la carretera revela tu inseguridad sexual.

Jung: porque ese mito esta en el inconsciente colectivo de todos los pollos.

Scott: huhhh , huhhhh ¡chicken!!.... Stop ****ing around!!

Don Rogelio: Sea barbaro!! Que pollazo!

Bill Gates: Acabo de lanzar el MSChicken 00, que no solo cruza carreteras, sino que también pone huevos, archiva tus documentos mas importantes y ajusta tus cuentas.

La virgen maria: Come again?

Darwin: A lo largo de grandes periodos de tiempo, los pollos han sido seleccionados naturalmente de modo que ahora tienen una disposición genética a cruzar carreteras.

Einstein: El hecho de si el pollo ha cruzado la carretera o la carretera se ha movido debajo del pollo depende de tu marco de referencia.

Aristóteles : Esta en la naturaleza de los pollos cruzar la carretera.

Nietzsche: Porque Dios ha muerto.

Dios: porque Nietzsche ha muerto.

Sara Goldfarb (requiem): because he wanted to be on television

Morpheus: You think the chicken is real? And if he is, is the road real?

Newton: Los pollos en reposo tienden a permanecer en reposo, los pollos en movimiento tienden a cruzar la carretera.

Edgar A Poe: Dijo el pollo: Nunca mas!

Kafka: Cruzo la carretera porque era la mascota preferida de Gregor Samsa, y al ver con horror su metamorfosis, decidio ir a avisar al principal que su dueño no asistiria al trabajo y no podria tomar el tren.

Cain: how would I know?? Am I the chicken’s keeper??