The difference between theory and reality

[Brock Landers]

One day, this kid came home from school with a homework assignment. His
assignment: To tell the class the next day the difference between theory
and reality. He asked his father for help. "Dad, what's the difference
between theory and reality?" "That's easy, son." the father replied. He
gestured to his son to go ask his sister a question. "Go upstairs and ask
your sister if she would sleep with any guy for a million bucks." The kid
went upstairs and asked his sister, "Hey, Sis! Would you sleep with any guy
for a million dollars?" His sister gave a disgusted look and yelled,
"Pervert!" Then casually continued, "Of course I would, fool. Are you
stupid? It's a million bucks!" The kid quickly ran downstairs to tell his
dad. "Dad, dad, she said yes, yes she would sleep with any guy for a
million bucks." Then the dad said, "Now go ask your mother the same
question." The kid ran back upstairs and asked his mom, "Mom, would you
sleep with any guy for a million bucks?" The mom answered, "Of course!
That's allot of money!" The kid then ran back downstairs again to tell his
dad. "Dad dad, she said yes, yes she'll sleep with any guy for a million
bucks!" Then his dad mildly answered, "You see, son, that's the difference
between theory and reality. In theory, we're living on a gold mine. In
reality, we're living with two whores!"

 

[IDENTITY]

brock!!! where have ya been???

 

[Brock Landers]

Looking for that joke for YEARS LOL

Saw it once in hustler while i was in college, now i can relive the humor and truth all over again!

 

[TheGeneral+]

LOL Brock. Good one!

 

[SubZaero]

 

[panther]

 

[sportsmonitor]

Landers-
That same little boy went to school the other day and his class was told to write a paper about anything with a moral at the end of the story. The little boy went home yesterday and wrote about his dad in Desert Storm. Today the little boy had to read his story in front of the rest of the kids in class.

"Once upon a time my dad fought in Desert Storm. He parachuted out of a plane in the middle of 20 Iraqi's with nothing but a bottle of Jack Daniels, a revolver, and a knife. On the way down my dad drank the whole bottle of Jack Daniels and then shot 15 Iraqi militants with his revolver. When he hit the ground he stabbed 3 more Iraqi's and killed 2 more with his bare hands."

The teacher, horrified, asked the little boy what the moral to the frightening story was. The little boy replied, "never fvck with my dad when he's been drinking."

-Best told when your sitting around drinking with people at a bar or party and tell the story as if the little boy is your son lol.

 

[sportsmonitor]

Two guys are on the golf course and the first guy tees off nicely down the fairway. The second guy approaches the box and begins to tee off, but in the middle of his swing he stops for a funeral procession that is driving by the golf course. He takes his cap off and bows his head. The first golfer takes notice and tells the second golfer what a nice gesture that was too remove his cap and bow his head while the cars are passing the golf course. The second golfer replies, "thats the least I could do since we were married for 20 yrs."

 

[sportsmonitor]

A manager at work takes a co-worker of his hunting one weekend. They are out hunting in the woods when the Manager trips in some brush and falls hitting his head on a tree stump. The co-worker grabs his cell phone and calls 911. He tells the 911 operator that his boss tripped in some brush then fell down against a stump killing himself. The 911 operator tells the co-worker to relax and that his boss was probably just knocked unconscious. Then the 911 operator tells the the co-worker to double check and make sure he is not dead. A loooong
silence comes over the phone before the 911 operator hears a loud BANG!! The co-worker gets back on the phone and tells the 911 operator "yep, he's definately dead alright."