According to Market Watch
The fabulous lifer
You know the person who posts photographs of a bouquet of flowers or their child’s first day at school when a Charles Eames chair in the background is the main attraction? That’s the fabulous lifer who turns Facebook into a showcase of their home. Martha Stewart has her lifestyle website, Gwyneth Paltrow has Goop, Blake Lively has Preserve for handmade products - and this person has Facebook: Their Timeline is a parade of fast cars and evening gowns where the only acceptable response is “cool” or “stunning.”
The vaguebooker
Vaguebooking happens when people post concerning comments but give no other details, says Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist in Boston. “Recently, I read a post that said, ‘I’m devastated. Never thought this could happen to me.’ That was it! Of course, friends immediately start chiming in with, ‘What’s wrong?’ and ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘PM me if you need to talk.’ It’s a passive aggressive scream for attention and, if something so devastating has occurred, do you really have the time to post about it?”
The relentless liker
Who is the most tiresome of them all? “Overly consistent commenters, those who must have a comment no matter what you post or write,” says Seth Rabinowitz, a partner at management consultancy Silicon Associates. What’s more, in 2012 Larry Rosen, professor of psychology at California State University, evaluated 800 active Facebook members and found those who most often “like” other people’s activities on Facebook are more likely to show symptoms of “mania” and “compulsivity.”
The ranter
Did you hear Sarah Palin thought the White House was located at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue? What about President Obama, and how he’s handled the Ebola crisis? You mean you’ve read about it already? Well, this Facebook user has an opinion, and he will burst if he doesn’t get it out. He doesn’t like anything, or anyone, and since he missed his calling as a fire-and-brimstone pundit on talk radio, he will use Facebook as his soap box. “Nothing you say or do can make this person happy,” says Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, Fla.
The uber-tagger
Those who tag you on comments or posts that become an open forum with many unknown others responding and adding to your inbox get on the nerves of Ummu Bradley Thomas, founder of the Freddie Bell Jones Modeling & Finishing School in Denton, Md. If they have a friend coming to a town near you, they tag you and every other friend who live there instead of recommending this person — who has no relationship to you — buy “Time Out New York” or “Lonely Planet Seattle.”
The Debbie downer
Debbie can be a man or a woman — they just have to walk down the shady side of the street. They yearn for summer to come — and when it finally does — they complain about the cost of the air conditioning. They plan their vacation and post about their holiday from hell. And they appear to be constantly going through a divorce ever since they joined Facebook in 2006. “Unless you’re still in middle school, the painful details of your breakups should not be Facebook fodder,” Rodman says.
The pet lover
The pet lover is addicted to posting endless pictures of their pets, says Darren Hayes, director of cybersecurity and assistant professor at Pace University. He’s a dog lover, so he is more irritated by pictures of cats. Because, he says, some Facebook users believe the world clearly doesn’t have enough cat pictures. There are even pages devoted to cats — like “I Love Funny Cat Pictures A Lot” with 107,423 likes so pet lovers don’t have to clog up your News Feed. And just wait until they have their first baby…
The silent stalker
At the opposite end of the scale is the relentless stalker. You know they’re there. They never say or do anything, but they are lurking in the tall (virtual) grass, following your every check-in, examining every detail of your life. “This person uses Facebook as a way of checking up on people but never contributes by posting or “liking” what you or others have to say,” Whitmore says. They can’t bring themselves to like anything, and they probably have a landscape or, worse, default silhouette as a profile photo, but always know your business when you finally meet them in person.
The big gamer
They earn extra points if they get you to join, and they really need those points. You are a vehicle to get them to the next level. There’s a reason they call Candy Crush “Candy Crack,” Rodman says. “I’ve seen people threaten to unfriend others who bombard them with invitations to play games. Take a hint: If someone doesn’t respond to your first invitation, they’re not interested. Take them off your guest list.” And that goes for chain letters and people who want your vote in a competition, or want to guilt-trip you into sharing a photo of a child with cancer even when you don’t know its origins.
The virtual lovers
“Get a room,” says Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. Or a chat room. As long as it isn’t on his Facebook timeline, he doesn’t mind. Some couples post so many photographs of themselves where they’re joined at the hip that you could mistake them for Siamese twins. Until their vacation rolls around, that is, and the whole world gets to see them in a hot tub together. “Adults should not post sexually explicit material,” Hayes says. Failing that, pray for lots of steam.
The fabulous lifer
You know the person who posts photographs of a bouquet of flowers or their child’s first day at school when a Charles Eames chair in the background is the main attraction? That’s the fabulous lifer who turns Facebook into a showcase of their home. Martha Stewart has her lifestyle website, Gwyneth Paltrow has Goop, Blake Lively has Preserve for handmade products - and this person has Facebook: Their Timeline is a parade of fast cars and evening gowns where the only acceptable response is “cool” or “stunning.”
The vaguebooker
Vaguebooking happens when people post concerning comments but give no other details, says Abby Rodman, a psychotherapist in Boston. “Recently, I read a post that said, ‘I’m devastated. Never thought this could happen to me.’ That was it! Of course, friends immediately start chiming in with, ‘What’s wrong?’ and ‘Are you okay?’ or ‘PM me if you need to talk.’ It’s a passive aggressive scream for attention and, if something so devastating has occurred, do you really have the time to post about it?”
The relentless liker
Who is the most tiresome of them all? “Overly consistent commenters, those who must have a comment no matter what you post or write,” says Seth Rabinowitz, a partner at management consultancy Silicon Associates. What’s more, in 2012 Larry Rosen, professor of psychology at California State University, evaluated 800 active Facebook members and found those who most often “like” other people’s activities on Facebook are more likely to show symptoms of “mania” and “compulsivity.”
The ranter
Did you hear Sarah Palin thought the White House was located at 1400 Pennsylvania Avenue? What about President Obama, and how he’s handled the Ebola crisis? You mean you’ve read about it already? Well, this Facebook user has an opinion, and he will burst if he doesn’t get it out. He doesn’t like anything, or anyone, and since he missed his calling as a fire-and-brimstone pundit on talk radio, he will use Facebook as his soap box. “Nothing you say or do can make this person happy,” says Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, Fla.
The uber-tagger
Those who tag you on comments or posts that become an open forum with many unknown others responding and adding to your inbox get on the nerves of Ummu Bradley Thomas, founder of the Freddie Bell Jones Modeling & Finishing School in Denton, Md. If they have a friend coming to a town near you, they tag you and every other friend who live there instead of recommending this person — who has no relationship to you — buy “Time Out New York” or “Lonely Planet Seattle.”
The Debbie downer
Debbie can be a man or a woman — they just have to walk down the shady side of the street. They yearn for summer to come — and when it finally does — they complain about the cost of the air conditioning. They plan their vacation and post about their holiday from hell. And they appear to be constantly going through a divorce ever since they joined Facebook in 2006. “Unless you’re still in middle school, the painful details of your breakups should not be Facebook fodder,” Rodman says.
The pet lover
The pet lover is addicted to posting endless pictures of their pets, says Darren Hayes, director of cybersecurity and assistant professor at Pace University. He’s a dog lover, so he is more irritated by pictures of cats. Because, he says, some Facebook users believe the world clearly doesn’t have enough cat pictures. There are even pages devoted to cats — like “I Love Funny Cat Pictures A Lot” with 107,423 likes so pet lovers don’t have to clog up your News Feed. And just wait until they have their first baby…
The silent stalker
At the opposite end of the scale is the relentless stalker. You know they’re there. They never say or do anything, but they are lurking in the tall (virtual) grass, following your every check-in, examining every detail of your life. “This person uses Facebook as a way of checking up on people but never contributes by posting or “liking” what you or others have to say,” Whitmore says. They can’t bring themselves to like anything, and they probably have a landscape or, worse, default silhouette as a profile photo, but always know your business when you finally meet them in person.
The big gamer
They earn extra points if they get you to join, and they really need those points. You are a vehicle to get them to the next level. There’s a reason they call Candy Crush “Candy Crack,” Rodman says. “I’ve seen people threaten to unfriend others who bombard them with invitations to play games. Take a hint: If someone doesn’t respond to your first invitation, they’re not interested. Take them off your guest list.” And that goes for chain letters and people who want your vote in a competition, or want to guilt-trip you into sharing a photo of a child with cancer even when you don’t know its origins.
The virtual lovers
“Get a room,” says Simon Rego, director of psychology training at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. Or a chat room. As long as it isn’t on his Facebook timeline, he doesn’t mind. Some couples post so many photographs of themselves where they’re joined at the hip that you could mistake them for Siamese twins. Until their vacation rolls around, that is, and the whole world gets to see them in a hot tub together. “Adults should not post sexually explicit material,” Hayes says. Failing that, pray for lots of steam.
