- a little bit of sportsbook future history. really did have serious intentions (see first item below) when i started this posting because our future always seems to be uncertain... rather than worry about it... i just decided to build my own. some of this is informed opinion informed opinion/prediction by the author anything else is a product of my imagination. (god... i can't wait for football to start)
several "real people" are mentioned here... i apologize in advance if you find anything offensive.
when: possibly before football
- visa and MC reluctantly issue and ENFORCE a reg that completely disallows gaming transactions by credit cards. in a series of perfectly timed automated transfers, processors selling uncoded transactions perform a midnight run with unsettled funds and reserves to avoid prosecution. private label debit cards will become the main funding/payment instruments. as acceptance and volume increases PLDC's begin to overtake Netteller as the lowest cost option (fees).
when: during next 4 months
- operators based in Costa Rica become increasingly nervous as the anti-sportsbook movement gains political ground. the once ridiculed "vida loca" political party encourages all sports clerks to quit their jobs and give up their improved quality of life, liquidate their assets and frolic naked in the jungle to "reconnect" with the Pura Vida lifestyle. Sportsbooks taking major losses as key line managers stage a month long walkout protesting unacceptable working conditions.
- seriously, just because gaming licenses have been issued to the reputable books doesn’t mean books are protected from expulsion. One source says ”it's a done deal and the books will be thrown out of CR before the end of the year” (merry xmas). concern reaches fever pitch as smart, reputable operators seek alternate (disaster recovery) sites outside of costa rica (hello, panama!)
- don't underestimate the power of thousands of soon to be unemployed costa rican betting clerks and customer service agents mobilized as an opposition group.
- Panamanians continue to stall out licensees. suddenly the "traveling panama road show" realizes that they don't have to offer ANY concessions, perks, incentives AND they can set their own inflated price for a gaming license. sales visits to sportsbooks in CR abruptly end and letters are sent out from the panamanian government terminating licensing negotiations with 3 pending entities asking them to re-apply. returning home the panamanian sales team note a long line of harried sportsbook operators queuing outside the ministry of finance building where license applications are processed.
when: during next 6 months
- staggering internal costs, executive perks and incompetence finally take their toll as employees of IQL arrive to work only to find their doors padlocked by local authorities (again). chairman and 4 key executives are detained as they attempt to flee costa rica for buenos aires with suspicious baggage containing street maps of omaha, nebraska... assorted sex toys... bundles of US $100 bills and removable storage media containing complete copies of all databases from current and former clients. chairman tells cops "we just wanted it to be safe... that's all". enroute to a san jose holding facility a van containing the defendants is hijacked. 3 guards released without harm but IQL Chairman and cronies never seen again and listed as "missing persons".
when: by superbowl 2004
- record year for sportsbook failures as a redolent industry prepares ready to commit seppuku by continuing to act like bookies and NOT businessmen. Absorption of failed books clients is far lower than anticipated by the surviving operations illustrating the high level of consumer dissatisfaction.
- the much modified and always controversial Kyle bill finally gets approval in both the House and Senate and becomes law. the US president in what some described as a "somber" atmosphere in the decimated city of escazu, costa rica or "gringo gulch" as it was referred to by expatriots. the president had a harrowing 10 minute tour of the former upscale suburb turned slum in a “hardened red taxi”. the costa rican president, clearly moved by the once prosperous town reduced little more than a garbage heap pointed to a burned out massive estate now home to a group of 50 emaciated costa rican betting clerks. When asked by reporters his impression of the once affluent neighborhood he was heard to whisper… "dear god... what have we done?" US president was "stunned and saddened" by the massive economic strife and chaos resulting from the sportsbook exodus and vows to do "all we can" to develop markets for costa rican products in the USA and abroad. when asked when he thought the first loans and initiatives would be available the President whispered and winked..."ahhhh... soon... real soon… probably".
when: in the not to distant future
- 3 independent world-renowned scientists confirm today that they have validated the discovery of a previously unknown transmission medium generated by and passing through the cerebral cortex of every human being alive. the clearly shaken scientists were particularly stumped by "espernet's" truly unlimited bandwidth. one scientist speaking under the condition of anonymity said " dude..? it's just... you know.... on demand!" "we started pushing huge amounts of data through espernet culminating in a loop transmission burst of the entire contents of the WWW… 2 of our test subjects are still hospitalized in critical condition. scientist are still uncertain what if any long term harm is derived from the aptly named "espernet" or the anticipated use of "immersion network" appliances already being developed for implantation in human bodies
- the costa rican utility monopoly ICE today declared it might support "limited privatization" of the countries technology and power infrastructure in the wake of the espernet announcement. one ICE executive speaking on the condition of anonymity said "hey... it was a great ride while it lasted... i got enough put away to retire in luxury.
when: just a bit past the not so distant future
- wall street reeled today on news that Microsoft has been granted exclusive rights to develop the standardized OS/User interfaces for all Espernet capable devices. in a joint press conference with the recently cloned former CEO of ENRON and current Head of the Treasaury Ken Laye. A very spry but “feisty” Mr. Gates (who turned 142 last week) wouldn't comment on allegations he blackmailed the House and Senate into giving Microsoft a virtual monopoly on the most revolutionary discovery of all time. When asked about the same allegations a testy Mr. Laye said "it was a short list and Microsoft clearly has a better than average track record of delivering products... besides, nobody else would touch the pig". A microsoft official (umnamed) could not confirm or deny that Chairman Gates had threatened to foreclose on the Western United States which was put up as collateral for last years Microsoft funded federal bailout.
when: a bit more past the not so distant future
- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE... Dept. of Justice and Treasury officials announced the release of the much anticipated nanotech sports/casino wagering interface at a demo in sanfranla. the devices represents the latest in microtechnology "espernet ready" implantables. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates will be in attendance as thousands of enthusiastic sports bettors have the interface implanted. Jim Turrilo IIIGC, grand grand clone of cult hero Jimmy Turillo is expected to throw the switch to activate the espernet wagering hub that will immediately upload the new virtual wagering applications directly into the users cerebral cortex. "This takes sports wagering and casino play to a whole new level" said Turillo. "most major sporting events will be offering hundreds of different bets per game and when the client is finished (turns and looks around) with his bets he can "jack" or in this case “jock” into any espernet ready player and you’ll experience the game like you’re on the playing field because really WILL be with the IPLAYII". when asked about this heretofore unknown system feature Turrilo said... "we convinced them to put in the beta version of I-PLAY II ... it's (the code) still really fluid but we're pretty sure it'll perform as advertised". Mr. Gates declined to comment about the alleged "virtual athlete" plug-in but confirmed that he contributed the final 5 lines of the Operating System Source Code for a specific reason. Security. "it's the key to the whole OS…nothing gels without those 5 lines of code..." it's been alot of years since i was a code buster, it's like riding a bike... once you learn how to ride you can throw away the instructions."
Around the World
- the great grand clone of senator John Kyle IGC read a prepared statement today at the Tomb of the Unknown Bookie in the central american capital of Nicapanarica. on behalf of his clone sire, Kyle apologized for the "reprehensible witch hunt" that his clone sire led against the offshore casino and sportsbook industry. he begged forgiveness for his family and himselves but pointed out to the mostly hostile crowd that "no one could have known that regulating and limited taxation of internet sports betting and virtual casinos could generate enough tax revenue to completely wipe out our national debt and provide a more comfortable life for all Americans... (sniffs) "god forgive us". most historians agree that the mass exodus of the old costa rican sportsbooks inadvertently triggered the massive economic crisis that resulted in the bloody 50 year revolution that swept through the region killing hundreds of thousands of innocents.
CNN Breaking Story - Gates/Microsoft criminally charged in wake of IPLAYII system meltdown that sent thousands of would be “virtual gamers” into a vegetative state. Ironically the source of the failure and the subsequent “cerebral short circuiting” of implantee’s was traced to the last 5 lines of source code written by Chairman Bill Gates himself. Speaking against his lawyers advise when being led into Marin County courthouse for his arraignment said “we’ll prove beyond any doubt that this was clearly a failure of the hardware platform or something in the network… I just know we will”.
In a related story…
Similar to the dot.com failure more than a century before. Stocks in virtual gaming companies nose dived today on news of the Gates/Microsoft indictments. Consumers fearful of “toxic interaction” with online sports and casino systems desert “virtual gaming environments” enmasse.
A Teasury department spokesperson speaking under the condition of anonymity commented..” you ask if it’s bad? 30% of our GNP is based on this industry. We’re talking total economic collapse within 3 months.
And finally…
New York Times –
There’s a renaissance all over America… a lost art rediscovered as private, non-regulated bookmakers fill the publics need for a “safe and secure” wagering option. Police are frustrated with attempts to shut down these “street corner bookies” who seem to be multiplying like rabbits in the wake of the espernet disaster. One bookie who would not give his name hinted that he was prepared to seek a “friendlier location” from which to do business… You know?… all I really need is a room full of phones, some pads of paper, pencils and a couple of holo-tanks… I’m back in business the way great granpa used to book… when pressed for details about “friendlier locations” the bookmaker declined comment except to say “Pura Vida” as he waved his next customer forward.
several "real people" are mentioned here... i apologize in advance if you find anything offensive.
when: possibly before football
- visa and MC reluctantly issue and ENFORCE a reg that completely disallows gaming transactions by credit cards. in a series of perfectly timed automated transfers, processors selling uncoded transactions perform a midnight run with unsettled funds and reserves to avoid prosecution. private label debit cards will become the main funding/payment instruments. as acceptance and volume increases PLDC's begin to overtake Netteller as the lowest cost option (fees).
when: during next 4 months
- operators based in Costa Rica become increasingly nervous as the anti-sportsbook movement gains political ground. the once ridiculed "vida loca" political party encourages all sports clerks to quit their jobs and give up their improved quality of life, liquidate their assets and frolic naked in the jungle to "reconnect" with the Pura Vida lifestyle. Sportsbooks taking major losses as key line managers stage a month long walkout protesting unacceptable working conditions.
- seriously, just because gaming licenses have been issued to the reputable books doesn’t mean books are protected from expulsion. One source says ”it's a done deal and the books will be thrown out of CR before the end of the year” (merry xmas). concern reaches fever pitch as smart, reputable operators seek alternate (disaster recovery) sites outside of costa rica (hello, panama!)
- don't underestimate the power of thousands of soon to be unemployed costa rican betting clerks and customer service agents mobilized as an opposition group.
- Panamanians continue to stall out licensees. suddenly the "traveling panama road show" realizes that they don't have to offer ANY concessions, perks, incentives AND they can set their own inflated price for a gaming license. sales visits to sportsbooks in CR abruptly end and letters are sent out from the panamanian government terminating licensing negotiations with 3 pending entities asking them to re-apply. returning home the panamanian sales team note a long line of harried sportsbook operators queuing outside the ministry of finance building where license applications are processed.
when: during next 6 months
- staggering internal costs, executive perks and incompetence finally take their toll as employees of IQL arrive to work only to find their doors padlocked by local authorities (again). chairman and 4 key executives are detained as they attempt to flee costa rica for buenos aires with suspicious baggage containing street maps of omaha, nebraska... assorted sex toys... bundles of US $100 bills and removable storage media containing complete copies of all databases from current and former clients. chairman tells cops "we just wanted it to be safe... that's all". enroute to a san jose holding facility a van containing the defendants is hijacked. 3 guards released without harm but IQL Chairman and cronies never seen again and listed as "missing persons".
when: by superbowl 2004
- record year for sportsbook failures as a redolent industry prepares ready to commit seppuku by continuing to act like bookies and NOT businessmen. Absorption of failed books clients is far lower than anticipated by the surviving operations illustrating the high level of consumer dissatisfaction.
- the much modified and always controversial Kyle bill finally gets approval in both the House and Senate and becomes law. the US president in what some described as a "somber" atmosphere in the decimated city of escazu, costa rica or "gringo gulch" as it was referred to by expatriots. the president had a harrowing 10 minute tour of the former upscale suburb turned slum in a “hardened red taxi”. the costa rican president, clearly moved by the once prosperous town reduced little more than a garbage heap pointed to a burned out massive estate now home to a group of 50 emaciated costa rican betting clerks. When asked by reporters his impression of the once affluent neighborhood he was heard to whisper… "dear god... what have we done?" US president was "stunned and saddened" by the massive economic strife and chaos resulting from the sportsbook exodus and vows to do "all we can" to develop markets for costa rican products in the USA and abroad. when asked when he thought the first loans and initiatives would be available the President whispered and winked..."ahhhh... soon... real soon… probably".
when: in the not to distant future
- 3 independent world-renowned scientists confirm today that they have validated the discovery of a previously unknown transmission medium generated by and passing through the cerebral cortex of every human being alive. the clearly shaken scientists were particularly stumped by "espernet's" truly unlimited bandwidth. one scientist speaking under the condition of anonymity said " dude..? it's just... you know.... on demand!" "we started pushing huge amounts of data through espernet culminating in a loop transmission burst of the entire contents of the WWW… 2 of our test subjects are still hospitalized in critical condition. scientist are still uncertain what if any long term harm is derived from the aptly named "espernet" or the anticipated use of "immersion network" appliances already being developed for implantation in human bodies
- the costa rican utility monopoly ICE today declared it might support "limited privatization" of the countries technology and power infrastructure in the wake of the espernet announcement. one ICE executive speaking on the condition of anonymity said "hey... it was a great ride while it lasted... i got enough put away to retire in luxury.
when: just a bit past the not so distant future
- wall street reeled today on news that Microsoft has been granted exclusive rights to develop the standardized OS/User interfaces for all Espernet capable devices. in a joint press conference with the recently cloned former CEO of ENRON and current Head of the Treasaury Ken Laye. A very spry but “feisty” Mr. Gates (who turned 142 last week) wouldn't comment on allegations he blackmailed the House and Senate into giving Microsoft a virtual monopoly on the most revolutionary discovery of all time. When asked about the same allegations a testy Mr. Laye said "it was a short list and Microsoft clearly has a better than average track record of delivering products... besides, nobody else would touch the pig". A microsoft official (umnamed) could not confirm or deny that Chairman Gates had threatened to foreclose on the Western United States which was put up as collateral for last years Microsoft funded federal bailout.
when: a bit more past the not so distant future
- FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE... Dept. of Justice and Treasury officials announced the release of the much anticipated nanotech sports/casino wagering interface at a demo in sanfranla. the devices represents the latest in microtechnology "espernet ready" implantables. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates will be in attendance as thousands of enthusiastic sports bettors have the interface implanted. Jim Turrilo IIIGC, grand grand clone of cult hero Jimmy Turillo is expected to throw the switch to activate the espernet wagering hub that will immediately upload the new virtual wagering applications directly into the users cerebral cortex. "This takes sports wagering and casino play to a whole new level" said Turillo. "most major sporting events will be offering hundreds of different bets per game and when the client is finished (turns and looks around) with his bets he can "jack" or in this case “jock” into any espernet ready player and you’ll experience the game like you’re on the playing field because really WILL be with the IPLAYII". when asked about this heretofore unknown system feature Turrilo said... "we convinced them to put in the beta version of I-PLAY II ... it's (the code) still really fluid but we're pretty sure it'll perform as advertised". Mr. Gates declined to comment about the alleged "virtual athlete" plug-in but confirmed that he contributed the final 5 lines of the Operating System Source Code for a specific reason. Security. "it's the key to the whole OS…nothing gels without those 5 lines of code..." it's been alot of years since i was a code buster, it's like riding a bike... once you learn how to ride you can throw away the instructions."
Around the World
- the great grand clone of senator John Kyle IGC read a prepared statement today at the Tomb of the Unknown Bookie in the central american capital of Nicapanarica. on behalf of his clone sire, Kyle apologized for the "reprehensible witch hunt" that his clone sire led against the offshore casino and sportsbook industry. he begged forgiveness for his family and himselves but pointed out to the mostly hostile crowd that "no one could have known that regulating and limited taxation of internet sports betting and virtual casinos could generate enough tax revenue to completely wipe out our national debt and provide a more comfortable life for all Americans... (sniffs) "god forgive us". most historians agree that the mass exodus of the old costa rican sportsbooks inadvertently triggered the massive economic crisis that resulted in the bloody 50 year revolution that swept through the region killing hundreds of thousands of innocents.
CNN Breaking Story - Gates/Microsoft criminally charged in wake of IPLAYII system meltdown that sent thousands of would be “virtual gamers” into a vegetative state. Ironically the source of the failure and the subsequent “cerebral short circuiting” of implantee’s was traced to the last 5 lines of source code written by Chairman Bill Gates himself. Speaking against his lawyers advise when being led into Marin County courthouse for his arraignment said “we’ll prove beyond any doubt that this was clearly a failure of the hardware platform or something in the network… I just know we will”.
In a related story…
Similar to the dot.com failure more than a century before. Stocks in virtual gaming companies nose dived today on news of the Gates/Microsoft indictments. Consumers fearful of “toxic interaction” with online sports and casino systems desert “virtual gaming environments” enmasse.
A Teasury department spokesperson speaking under the condition of anonymity commented..” you ask if it’s bad? 30% of our GNP is based on this industry. We’re talking total economic collapse within 3 months.
And finally…
New York Times –
There’s a renaissance all over America… a lost art rediscovered as private, non-regulated bookmakers fill the publics need for a “safe and secure” wagering option. Police are frustrated with attempts to shut down these “street corner bookies” who seem to be multiplying like rabbits in the wake of the espernet disaster. One bookie who would not give his name hinted that he was prepared to seek a “friendlier location” from which to do business… You know?… all I really need is a room full of phones, some pads of paper, pencils and a couple of holo-tanks… I’m back in business the way great granpa used to book… when pressed for details about “friendlier locations” the bookmaker declined comment except to say “Pura Vida” as he waved his next customer forward.
