Shrink, please don't get offended, but this party is going to suck, unless you take my advice and do what I say. It will be at this time next Saturday that 100 losers are going to be sitting down stuffing their face. Now I know there will be about 100 attending, which is a terrible turnout, considering there are 2,000 posters here. That is only 5% attending. You need to raise that to at least 500 posters attending, and I know how you will be able to achieve this.
Now this party falls on the same day as my breakfast with Barry Bonds, and I am even thinking of not going to that breakfast and attend this party, but you must make this party better Kenneth.. This party is going to suck..
If you want to have 5 times the turnout that you will have now, this is what you must do.. and pay attention..Now forget about those boring door prizes, or that free meal only, or meeting some posters. People don't really care about food only, or boring door prizes like an rx t-shirt.. (Wow!! big deal... we get to win an RX T-shirt.. wahoooooooo!!!), or meeting 100 posters, who happen to be the biggest losers worldwide. Do you think people actually care about meeting some fat loser degenerate gambler who sits home and posts at RX 24/7? Ken, lets be honest, we are all a bunch of non winners here.. It's not like we are going to meet doctors who have cured Cancer, or meet some tv celebrity..I don't think any of us care less what some poster looks like.. So here are some tips to make this party better and have 500 attend, rather than 100. I assure you my way, you will get this..
Instead of handing out boring t-shirts, give out real cash...
Instead of inviting special guests to speak, have Angie and Jenny Dav perform a lesbian act for us. (this alone will bring in another 300 posters to attend)
Instead of a lousy door prize, how about the winning ticket gets to spend one memorable evening with the lovely Jenny Dav..
How about a mud wrestling match up between Jenny Dav and Angelle.
How about unlimited booze for 3 days for all posters, and all you can eat jumbo shrimps.
How about a strip show and a lap dance by Jenny Dav and Angelle for the winning door prize ticket. Do this Shrink, and I assure you you will get 500 attending..
And last but not least, we will end it with a bang...How about we have a main event, where we rent a boxing ring, and see a few bouts. I am sure this alone will be something that would make everyone want to come out to Vegas.. You can even charge 40 a head, and there are 500 posters attending, which means you would make 20k, and put this towards the whole weekend to pay for the food and drinks. Everybody will pay it, especially for the main event. We'd start off with the first bout of The Major and The Shrink going 3 rounds. My money is on The Major because he is a nut, and Kenny is a calmer guy who is non violent, but you never know, Shrink just might surprise a few of us. We can all bet on this to make it more exciting. The line on that would be The Major -250/ The Shrink +210..Then the 2nd bout would be Sick Gambler and Clevfan. Boy would I love 3 rounds with this woman. You know there will be a lot of hate there, especially on her side because I am sure she wants me dead now.. Even though she is a woman, this fight would be more than fair because first of all, this woman is built like Charles Barkley.. She stands at 5'8 and weighs a whopping 264 lbs. If anything, she might even be the favorite here because of her anger she has now built in towards me, that she will come out punching away.. In all honesty, I would make this line Clevfan -135/SG +115. I am scared of this woman, she is very intimidating.
And finally, the main event.. here it goes.. We would fly down BTJ and have him meet Lenny, and let them go 5 rounds hammering away. Wouldn't this one be the greatest bout of all time? Just think of the anger in this BTJ he would have during this bout. I would easily make BTJ a favorite, even though he can't fight for beans.. But the anger he has held inside on this guy now for 3 months has to make him the favorite. I would make the line.. BTJ -175/Lenny +155..
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There you have it folks. Kenny, i hope you were listening. Those are some ideas on how to turn this boring party, into a great party. Any other suggestion boys on how to make this party better?
Now this party falls on the same day as my breakfast with Barry Bonds, and I am even thinking of not going to that breakfast and attend this party, but you must make this party better Kenneth.. This party is going to suck..
If you want to have 5 times the turnout that you will have now, this is what you must do.. and pay attention..Now forget about those boring door prizes, or that free meal only, or meeting some posters. People don't really care about food only, or boring door prizes like an rx t-shirt.. (Wow!! big deal... we get to win an RX T-shirt.. wahoooooooo!!!), or meeting 100 posters, who happen to be the biggest losers worldwide. Do you think people actually care about meeting some fat loser degenerate gambler who sits home and posts at RX 24/7? Ken, lets be honest, we are all a bunch of non winners here.. It's not like we are going to meet doctors who have cured Cancer, or meet some tv celebrity..I don't think any of us care less what some poster looks like.. So here are some tips to make this party better and have 500 attend, rather than 100. I assure you my way, you will get this..
Instead of handing out boring t-shirts, give out real cash...
Instead of inviting special guests to speak, have Angie and Jenny Dav perform a lesbian act for us. (this alone will bring in another 300 posters to attend)
Instead of a lousy door prize, how about the winning ticket gets to spend one memorable evening with the lovely Jenny Dav..
How about a mud wrestling match up between Jenny Dav and Angelle.
How about unlimited booze for 3 days for all posters, and all you can eat jumbo shrimps.
How about a strip show and a lap dance by Jenny Dav and Angelle for the winning door prize ticket. Do this Shrink, and I assure you you will get 500 attending..
And last but not least, we will end it with a bang...How about we have a main event, where we rent a boxing ring, and see a few bouts. I am sure this alone will be something that would make everyone want to come out to Vegas.. You can even charge 40 a head, and there are 500 posters attending, which means you would make 20k, and put this towards the whole weekend to pay for the food and drinks. Everybody will pay it, especially for the main event. We'd start off with the first bout of The Major and The Shrink going 3 rounds. My money is on The Major because he is a nut, and Kenny is a calmer guy who is non violent, but you never know, Shrink just might surprise a few of us. We can all bet on this to make it more exciting. The line on that would be The Major -250/ The Shrink +210..Then the 2nd bout would be Sick Gambler and Clevfan. Boy would I love 3 rounds with this woman. You know there will be a lot of hate there, especially on her side because I am sure she wants me dead now.. Even though she is a woman, this fight would be more than fair because first of all, this woman is built like Charles Barkley.. She stands at 5'8 and weighs a whopping 264 lbs. If anything, she might even be the favorite here because of her anger she has now built in towards me, that she will come out punching away.. In all honesty, I would make this line Clevfan -135/SG +115. I am scared of this woman, she is very intimidating.
And finally, the main event.. here it goes.. We would fly down BTJ and have him meet Lenny, and let them go 5 rounds hammering away. Wouldn't this one be the greatest bout of all time? Just think of the anger in this BTJ he would have during this bout. I would easily make BTJ a favorite, even though he can't fight for beans.. But the anger he has held inside on this guy now for 3 months has to make him the favorite. I would make the line.. BTJ -175/Lenny +155..
__________
There you have it folks. Kenny, i hope you were listening. Those are some ideas on how to turn this boring party, into a great party. Any other suggestion boys on how to make this party better?
