She farted, after first night of sex!

[blueedwards]

holy- I do have a child....the worst part of all that was accidentally seeing my ex-wifes lips shortly after giving birth...it was never quite the same.

i haven't been able to eat a steak since seeing the placenta. that, my friends, was quite disgusting.

 

[Holysmoke+]

:monsters-

that was not my experience. you may be married to a wildebeast.

did you go to the pre birth classes?

hell they let you know in the birthing room that the woman may shit while pushing.

and fvk you for the wildebeast comment

 

[Journeyman]

i haven't been able to eat a steak since seeing the placenta. that, my friends, was quite disgusting.

I couldn't watch that stuff...any of it..I was up by her head...no way I could watch it....

 

[blueedwards]

did you go to the pre birth classes?

hell they let you know in the birthing room that the woman may shit while pushing.

and fvk you for the wildebeast comment

i guess that was over the line...sorry. i'm sure she's not a beast. but dude, i did not experience a stinky nightmare or streams of flying piss when having sex with her while pregnant. there was not a plethera of farts either that i can remember.

good luck to you.

 

[blueedwards]

I couldn't watch that stuff...any of it..I was up by her head...no way I could watch it....

i knew that thing was coming out and i knew it would be nasty. i had a plan to avoid the whole thing but the fricking doctor made me cut the cord. after that, it was like a bad car accident...i could not look away.

i would pay $600 to have been able to avoid seeing that. it is burned on my brain forever. but, the upside is that rib-eye looking thing nourished my child for nine months.

 

[RobFunk]

keep jibbern' and jabbn' and the bitches who fart will grab the wendys chili and get the splittn and splattn, guys like us wanna know what happen, make you see thriller. .like mike jackson, before they were passn gas'n, they were into drug trafickn and just playn jhon madden and gas passn girls aint brag'n and

 

[jeffksu]

this is getting funnier by the post...hey it's just life man deal with it or walk away....man you guys are something else....sick s.o.b.'s....but hey it makes for good reading....keep it up laughing so hard my side hurts...jeffksu

 

[Journeyman]

keep jibbern' and jabbn' and the bitches who fart will grab the wendys chili and get the splittn and splattn, guys like us wanna know what happen, make you see thriller. .like mike jackson, before they were passn gas'n, they were into drug trafickn and just playn jhon madden and gas passn girls aint brag'n and

:lolBIG:

That is funny man

 

[TheGeneral+]

this is getting funnier by the post...hey it's just life man deal with it or walk away....man you guys are something else....sick s.o.b.'s....but hey it makes for good reading....keep it up laughing so hard my side hurts...jeffksu

:lolBIG: :lolBIG:

 

[Illini]

What's the big deal, J-Man? Geesh, you pansy. Jenny McCarthy advises all women to fart immediately. (FHM Magazine interview) Cause the girl shouldn't be scared to fart or poop....it's part of life. If it's good enough for Jenny McCarthy, it's good enough for me.

 

[blueedwards]

What's the big deal, J-Man? Geesh, you pansy. Jenny McCarthy advises all women to fart immediately. (FHM Magazine interview) Cause the girl shouldn't be scared to fart or poop....it's part of life. If it's good enough for Jenny McCarthy, it's good enough for me.

you're only saying that because its jenny mccarthy. if rosie odonell said it you'd

uke1:

 

[HacheMan]

So J~Man, do you think she is probably one of those girls that burps out loud also.............?

 

[blueedwards]

So J~Man, do you think she is probably one of those girls that burps out loud also.............?

that goes without saying. i bet this girl would pick at a scab on her foot, then grab some potato chips from a big bowl that was meant for everyone to share.

 

[Illini]

you're only saying that because its jenny mccarthy. if rosie odonell said it you'd

uke1:

Very true, and a very accurate post. However, if Carmen Electra or Angelina Jolie, or anybody like that farted on my face, it would do nothing to change the fact that I want to squeeze the hell outta their booties.
:smoker2:

 

[RobFunk]

I know the type. I one night dated a chic who scarved down a pizza in front of me without offering any and I wasnt eating. It's kind of funny looking back on it. Cheese oozing to the box and she is just eating and inhaling it like a hoe possesed.

 

[Journeyman]

So J~Man, do you think she is probably one of those girls that burps out loud also.............?

Hache, the funny part is I distinctly recall her telling me she never burps....I'm gonna bring that up next time I see her...maybe not actually.

I feel like I'm getting myself in over my head, she's always asking me to come over etc....I may have a hard time ending this one...

:drink: Single life has never been the same since my daughter came along...

 

[Holysmoke+]

I dated a girl one time and she was 17 or 18 I was 19.

I was getting my finger wet first date and we were in my car.

the car filled up with a smell nastier than shaq could fart.

It was such a horrid smell, like a dead person.

so I wrapped up the evening and dropped her off.

my car smelled so bad, I went to friends house and said lets go for a ride, they got in and almost vomit.

my finger stunk the next day.

 

[Journeyman]

I know the type. I one night dated a chic who scarved down a pizza in front of me without offering any and I wasnt eating. It's kind of funny looking back on it. Cheese oozing to the box and she is just eating and inhaling it like a hoe possesed.

we had pizza too....

I would NEVER cut the cheese this soon...

 

[G.MONEY]

This thread is way to funny..I have had 3 children and Holysmoke, I must admit not once did I have to go thru any of what you descibed with my wife. You must have married a real Gem to have all those features during pregnancy.

 

[Holysmoke+]

jman, keep her on the side for when you need to bust a nut.

some night she may come in handy, hell, its better than rosie and porn