Ya, I talked to her about it, and said that once you meet her, you’ll drop what ever you’re doin’ and high tail it down here to Tennessee and set up house keepin’. Knowin’ my sister in law, once she puts a headlock on ya, she ain’t never gonna let go. Damn near choked to death her first husband, Possum, who turned out to be her brother but I told ya about that mess.
She’s already makin’ plans. You lucky dog, you. She’s getting’ all purdyed up, just bought some peroxide in a gallon container to do up her hair, cleanin’ the grease out from under her toenails, shaven off the hair on her chest, buyin’ herself a new pair of shoes off the impulse rack next to the cash register down at the market and done made reservations at the deer camp for your honeymoon, hope you don’t mind hitchhikin’. Boy, you are really a lucky dog.
She’s a real romantic sort, wants you to propose to her at Dennys, near the salad bar. And you got so much to be thankful for. You’re getting one of my pigs as a wedding present, my brother Skeeter is giving you an above ground pool where you’all can fish in and Ida’s sister’s a gonna lend her bridal gown complete with the veil I made out of window screen.
Let me know what you’d like to have for a weddin’ present?