Yep, the new "Policy Analysis Market" machination was so dumb that even Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill put aside partisan brawling long enough to attack it as wacky and dangerous.
WASHINGTON -- A cardinal rule in the news biz is never to label something the biggest, shortest, heaviest, oldest, fastest, smartest ... or dumbest.
Inevitably, somebody smarter will prove you are dumber.
So it is with some trepidation that I write:
The Pentagon's scheme for a terrorist futures-trading market is the dumbest idea I have encountered in a half-century as a news junkie.
Dumber than the belief in California and parts of the nation's capital that you can endlessly, mindlessly cut taxes and not hurt government services.
Dumber even than the idea that it was OK 30 years ago to break into Democratic headquarters at the Watergate, then try to cover it up by lying, paying hush money and subverting the Constitution.
Yep, the new "Policy Analysis Market" machination was so dumb that even Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill put aside partisan brawling long enough to attack it as wacky and dangerous.
Here's how the Policy Analysis Market scheme, as hatched by retired Rear Adm. John Poindexter and his buddies at the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, would have worked:
Speculators would have begun registering last week for the right to bet, beginning Oct. 1, on the probability of coups, assassinations and terrorist attacks. The action would take place not in some Vegas casino but in an online gambling parlor operated in part by the Pentagon.
Fortunately, Democratic Sens. Byron Dorgan of North Dakota and Ron Wyden of Oregon stumbled on this mad plot and blew the whistle, forcing an embarrassed Pentagon to hastily pull the plug.
In the fallout, the Pentagon said that Poindexter, who had served as Ronald Reagan's national security adviser, would be leaving "within a few weeks."
Sen. Patrick Leahy was not satisfied.
"The problem is more than the fact that Admiral Poindexter was put in charge," the Vermont Democrat said. "The problem is that these projects were just fine with the administration until the public found out about them."
So "just fine," in fact, that the futures-trading scheme was to be bankrolled with $8 million of your tax money.
For those who either have short memories or were born after the mid-1980s, here are a few words of introduction to Admiral Poindexter:
He helped devise the scheme to sell arms to Iran and illegally divert the money to Reagan-backed Contra rebels who were battling the leftist government of Nicaragua. Poindexter got a six-month sentence for lying to Congress about Iran-Contra, but the decision was overturned on grounds he had been granted immunity.
A dozen years later, the current Bush team rewarded Poindexter with an important Pentagon position and lots of cash -- and averted their eyes as he concocted more chicanery.
OK, I take it back.
The Policy Analysis Market idea isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
It's tied for first with "The Resurrection of John Poindexter."
http://www.theolympian.com/home/news/20030810/opinion/72479.shtml
WASHINGTON -- A cardinal rule in the news biz is never to label something the biggest, shortest, heaviest, oldest, fastest, smartest ... or dumbest.
Inevitably, somebody smarter will prove you are dumber.
So it is with some trepidation that I write:
The Pentagon's scheme for a terrorist futures-trading market is the dumbest idea I have encountered in a half-century as a news junkie.
Dumber than the belief in California and parts of the nation's capital that you can endlessly, mindlessly cut taxes and not hurt government services.
Dumber even than the idea that it was OK 30 years ago to break into Democratic headquarters at the Watergate, then try to cover it up by lying, paying hush money and subverting the Constitution.
Yep, the new "Policy Analysis Market" machination was so dumb that even Republicans and Democrats on Capitol Hill put aside partisan brawling long enough to attack it as wacky and dangerous.
Here's how the Policy Analysis Market scheme, as hatched by retired Rear Adm. John Poindexter and his buddies at the Pentagon's Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, would have worked:
Speculators would have begun registering last week for the right to bet, beginning Oct. 1, on the probability of coups, assassinations and terrorist attacks. The action would take place not in some Vegas casino but in an online gambling parlor operated in part by the Pentagon.
Fortunately, Democratic Sens. Byron Dorgan of North Dakota and Ron Wyden of Oregon stumbled on this mad plot and blew the whistle, forcing an embarrassed Pentagon to hastily pull the plug.
In the fallout, the Pentagon said that Poindexter, who had served as Ronald Reagan's national security adviser, would be leaving "within a few weeks."
Sen. Patrick Leahy was not satisfied.
"The problem is more than the fact that Admiral Poindexter was put in charge," the Vermont Democrat said. "The problem is that these projects were just fine with the administration until the public found out about them."
So "just fine," in fact, that the futures-trading scheme was to be bankrolled with $8 million of your tax money.
For those who either have short memories or were born after the mid-1980s, here are a few words of introduction to Admiral Poindexter:
He helped devise the scheme to sell arms to Iran and illegally divert the money to Reagan-backed Contra rebels who were battling the leftist government of Nicaragua. Poindexter got a six-month sentence for lying to Congress about Iran-Contra, but the decision was overturned on grounds he had been granted immunity.
A dozen years later, the current Bush team rewarded Poindexter with an important Pentagon position and lots of cash -- and averted their eyes as he concocted more chicanery.
OK, I take it back.
The Policy Analysis Market idea isn't the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.
It's tied for first with "The Resurrection of John Poindexter."
http://www.theolympian.com/home/news/20030810/opinion/72479.shtml