Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck!
Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip?
Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it.
Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping?
Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit.
Mr. Pink: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, then she can quit.
Nice Guy Eddie: I don't even know a fuk-king Jew who'd have the balls to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever tip?
Mr. Pink: I don't tip because society says I have to. All right, if someone deserves a tip, if they really put forth an effort, I'll give them something a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doing their job.
Mr. Blue: Hey, our girl was nice.
Mr. Pink: She was okay. She wasn't anything special.
Mr. Blue: What's special? Take you in the back and suck your dikk?
Nice Guy Eddie: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
AND
MR PINK: I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fuk-ked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fuk-ks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something that says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And as for this non-college bullshit I got two words for that: learn to fuk-kin' type, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big fuk-kin' surprise.
Cue "Stuck In the Middle With You"