thanks
never been in a position like this and will say I hope none of you ever have to go through this.
worst part is that she's 30, parents passed a couple of years ago and Uncle Me gets to decide what to do.
Truth be told, I'm not cut out to be the one.
anyway, i probably sound like an idiot for asking here. But just figure that you never know who has gone through it before.
Have you read it closely? The good news is that they usually contain some language that says something along the lines of "as determined by a licensed medical physician, etc." so the doctors are still going to make the major decisions and should only come to you in a true "pull the plug" decision. In that scenario she still might have made further elections in the document that detail her wishes in such a scenario. Most allow that. Or she might have elected not to make such decisions and leave it up to her healthcare agent which puts you in a tough spot.
DNR (do not resuscitate) is pretty straight forward. That document should be in the chart of the patient in the hospital. No one is allowed to do CPR on the patient. i have taken care of two parents that had DNR's. At home i had copies of the DNR's in case paramedics were called. They need to see the document when you tell them their is a DNR. They always ask if a DNR is ordered.
The POA i do not have experience with. Difficult position for you to be in BAS. Try and make the decisions the patient would want from what you know and have had conversations with in the past. Good luck BAS.
The POA i do not have experience with. Difficult position for you to be in BAS. Try and make the decisions the patient would want from what you know and have had conversations with in the past. Good luck BAS.
you're the right person to do this.
if your niece is unable to communicate to the doctors whether or not something should or shouldn't be done, you can question the doctors as to why they want to do what they want to do and if it will make things better or worse. then make the call. it's as simple as that.
no doctor is going to make you choose between a right or wrong answer, so all you have to do is ask the questions, understand what may or may not happen and let the doctors know.
any friends or relatives that need to know what is happening or what happened, just tell them the basics, don't tell them it was you that made decision(s). just "a" happened so the doctors did "b" to help but it didn't work, or "a" happened and there wasn't anything they could do. NOT: "a" happened and I told the doctors not to do "b" then people start talking... well you know how people get.
when I've faced things like this I like to think about that scene from the godfather where johnny fontane is asking Don Vito for help, crying "what do I do, what do I do"... Godfather "You can ACT LIKE A MAN!" not saying you're crying or anything, I just like that quote when I'm faced with important tasks and feeling uneasy... somehow that makes me cowboy up.
good luck you got this
if your niece is unable to communicate to the doctors whether or not something should or shouldn't be done, you can question the doctors as to why they want to do what they want to do and if it will make things better or worse. then make the call. it's as simple as that.
no doctor is going to make you choose between a right or wrong answer, so all you have to do is ask the questions, understand what may or may not happen and let the doctors know.
any friends or relatives that need to know what is happening or what happened, just tell them the basics, don't tell them it was you that made decision(s). just "a" happened so the doctors did "b" to help but it didn't work, or "a" happened and there wasn't anything they could do. NOT: "a" happened and I told the doctors not to do "b" then people start talking... well you know how people get.
when I've faced things like this I like to think about that scene from the godfather where johnny fontane is asking Don Vito for help, crying "what do I do, what do I do"... Godfather "You can ACT LIKE A MAN!" not saying you're crying or anything, I just like that quote when I'm faced with important tasks and feeling uneasy... somehow that makes me cowboy up.
good luck you got this
Sorry to hear this Mike...
Had to do the same thing almost 10yrs ago...
but...
I was told....""PLEASE DON'T LET ME DOWN""
I CRY AS I TYPE THIS....
as this was my FATHER....
I did what he asked...
see ya someday DAD...
see you @ the bar and/or the tables someday....
BE STRONG MIKE...YOU WERE PICKED...
GREAT HONOR...TRUST ME....
C.P.
Had to do the same thing almost 10yrs ago...
but...
I was told....""PLEASE DON'T LET ME DOWN""
I CRY AS I TYPE THIS....
as this was my FATHER....
I did what he asked...
see ya someday DAD...
see you @ the bar and/or the tables someday....
BE STRONG MIKE...YOU WERE PICKED...
GREAT HONOR...TRUST ME....
C.P.
