A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WHEN MY WIFE WAS STILL JUST MY GIRLFRIEND SHE CAME BACK TO MY HOMETOWN AND JOINED MY FAMILY FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER....IT WAS A NICE CRISP NOVEMBER AFTERNOON...AFTER FEASTING ON TURKEY, GRAVY, PIES, ETC MY FAMILY (MOM, DAD, SISTERS, COUSINS, AND A FEW NEPHEWS DECIDED TO PLAY A NICE FRIENDLY GAME OF TOUCH FOOTBALL.....MY WIFE (GIRLFRIEND) REALLY WAS EXCITED ABOUT BEING A PART OF THIS ANNUAL FAMILY TRADITION AND ENTHUSIASTICALLY TOOK HER PLACE IN THE OPPOSING HUDDLE....ALTHOUGH I WOULDNT CONSIDER HER UNATHLETIC; SHE HAD NEVER PARTICIPATED IN ANY FORM OF ORGANIZED SPORTS....NOW KEEP IN MIND THIS ENTIRE TOUCH FOOTBALL GAME WAS COED AND NOBODY WAS TAKING IT REAL SERIOUS....MY WIFE EVEN HAD A CHANCE TO CATCH 1 PASS (IT WAS ONLY FOR A FEW FEET FROM THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE AND SHE WAS ALWAYS LEFT UNCOVERED) BUT THIS WAS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST MOMENT IN HER BRIEF ATHLETIC CAREER...THE REST OF THE NEXT HOUR OR SO WAS PRETTY UNEVENTFUL....JUST THE USUAL TRADITIONAL STUFF......LIKE MY DAD QUITING AFTER THE FIRST TIME HE WAS OPEN AND WAS NOT THROWN THE BALL....OR WHEN MY COUISIN CLAIMED HE TACKLED EMMITT SMITH FOR A 2 YARD LOSS IN A HIGH SCHOOL GAME PLAYED ON A RAINY PENSACOLA NIGHT BACK IN THE DAY...BUT ON WHAT WAS DETERMINED TO BE THE LAST PLAY OF THE GAME I HAD ONE OF THOSE UNFORGETTABLE MOMENTS IN LIFE...I ACTUALLY SAW MY FUTURE WIFE LINE UP IN A SHOTGUN POSITION BEHIND CENTER WITH A GRIN AS WIDE AS THE MOUTH OF THE MISSISSIPPI.....I WAS A RUSHER FOR THE DEFENSE BUT ONLY STOOD IN AMAZEMENT AS THE CENTER SNAPPED A PERFECT BALL BACK AS MY FUTURE WIFE STUMBLED AND BOBBLED HER WAY TO CONTROLLING THE SEEMINGLY EASY SNAP....SHE STOOD PERFECTLY MOTIONLESS (PROBABLY AMAZED SHE WAS ABLE TO CATCH THE SNAP) FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE AN ETERNITY....MY COUSIN, THE OTHER DEFENSIVE RUSHER AND THE FAMOUS "EMMITT SMITH NEMISIS" AND I NEVER EVEN TOOK A STEP TOWARDS THE LINE A SCRIMMAGE....I GUESS WE WERE CURIOUS AND AMAZED THAT SHE WAS EVEN AT THAT POSITION TO BEGIN WITH....AS HER RECIEVERS TOOK ROUTE I SAW THIS WOMAN THAT I LOVE GRIMACE AS SHE STRUGGLED DESPERATELY TO GRIP WHAT MUST HAVE FELT LIKE A WATERMELON IN HER PETITE HANDS....SHE THRUST FORWARD WITH HER RIGHT ARM IN AN ATTEMPT TO LAUNCH THIS UNFAMILIAR OBJECT TOWARD HER INTENDED TARGET....AS HER RECEIVERS WERE MAKING DESPERATE CUTS TO DISTANCE THEMSELVES FROM THEIR COUNTERPART DEFENDERS I WATCHED AS THAT OBJECT SLIPPED THROUGH THOSE PRECIOUS HANDS LIKE SAND THROUGH AN HOUR GLASS AND LAND ABOUT 1.5 FEET BEHIND HER RIGHT SHOULDER AND COME TO REST ON THE GROUND WITHOUT A RECEIVER WITHIN AT LEAST 20 YARDS....I REMEMBER THE LOOK OF HORROR ON HER SWEET FACE AS I WALKED TOWARD HER TO COMFORT WHET MUST HAVE BEEN A TOTAL DEVESTATION.....MY MAIN CONCERN WAS MAKING SURE SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT IT WAS OK, AND THAT THROWING A FOOTBALL WAS A VERY DIFFICULT THING....BUT IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I WAS ONLY THINKING ONE THING.."I HAVE NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER SEEN A MORE PATHETIC, AWKWARD, PITIFUL DISPLAY OF ATHLETIC ABILITY"....BUT ATLAS, TODAY MY WIFE IS FINALLY OFF THE HOOK....SHE HAS BEEN REPLACED AS ONE OF MY WORST ATHLETIC MEMORIES IN MY LIFE....THANK YOU CHRIS RIX!!!!
