Back in highschool I was trying to impress my girlfriend and another couple so I climbed a big oak tree and got on the roof of a large boat house down on the Willamette River. When I got to the roof I started yelling and screaming about my accomplishment, telling the other guy he was a big chicken shit. At that point I hit a patch of ice, roll down the slope and right off the roof toward the ice cold river a good 30 feet below. By the grace of god I bellyflopped on a three foot wide foot bridge exting from the boathouse to the dock. That knocked the wind out of me good enough to think I was dying, but I probably would have died in my condition if I landed in that water.
Needless to say that was pretty embarassing.
Needless to say that was pretty embarassing.
On the Millenium New Years I got hammered and was at my girlfriends house with her parents just kind of low key getting scummy together. I went to the bathroom to throw up and was so fuked that I just threw up everywhere all over the floor. It was a ton of vomit due to the eating throughout the day. I'm so fuked at this point that I can't clean up the bathroom by myself. i have to call her in to help and that in itself is bad but while we are in there she throws up from all the vomit. Which in turn chain reacts me to throw up again. Eventually her parents get involved and it was just a flat out mess!! It was brutal.
About 20 years ago, before going to the company Christmas party I took a Dristan to combat a dust allergy attack. I forgot that I took the pill and downed 4 Beefeater martini's at the party. I then hit the dance floor where I proceeded to fall all over the place and even injured myself. Noone knew I took a pill that you don't mix with booze and I was the laughing stock at work for several days.
first time I ever got drunk, my older friends wanted to go back to the store for more alcohol and some food.
I was in the backseat.
we pull up in the grocery store parking lot, (about 3 inches of snow and ice on the ground). I told them I needed to stay in the car, but they said "Nah, come out and get some fresh air dude"
One of my buddies opens up the backdoor and I take one move towards the door and just come BOUNCING OUT OF THE CAR like a gd Spalding Basketball in front of about 10-15 onlookers
I was in the backseat.
we pull up in the grocery store parking lot, (about 3 inches of snow and ice on the ground). I told them I needed to stay in the car, but they said "Nah, come out and get some fresh air dude"
One of my buddies opens up the backdoor and I take one move towards the door and just come BOUNCING OUT OF THE CAR like a gd Spalding Basketball in front of about 10-15 onlookers
