With all due respect sir, I'm up 9 units in the last 30 days.
On 17 plays (including parlays), working backwards, here's the gross balance:
-$600 (Yesterday's Detroit Loss), +$67 (I had a $667 win), +$100, -400 (1 unit $500 loss), +300, +700, +200 (another 1 unit loss), +900, +1400, +900, +3600 (Big win, Vancouver), +4000 (Same game-Vancouver, I bet it twice, +4600, +5700, +5600 (lost a $100 multi-sport parlay with one hockey bet on it), +5000, +$4500.
So there's the final profit 9 $500 units...
$4500.
I don't need to lie about my record.
Who am I trying to impress? A bunch of internet nerds?
(Now 1 unit unfortunately wasn't really $500, maybe when I grow up)