Bitterlittleman said:
actually had to take a pre-marital counseling class before getting married 5 years ago. it was pretty hoaky but, one thing that came out of it that proved to be accurate was that each person brings along expectations of the other (most of the time, based on how their parents related to each other). lot of times, these expectations are not discussed before hand...which causes problems.
i would recommend discussing exactly what your expections are in the following departments:
1) sex
2) housework/yardwork...who is responsible for what
3) money...one joint account or two seperate accounts. who manages the checkbook. will you have a budget (highly recommend that you do, btw).
4) alone time...how much is needed and how is it defined.
5) how many kids
6) religion
7) where you want to live (long term) i.e...i would love to move to the west coast some day verses i would never move more than 10 miles from my mother.
there's probably more than that but, i would think this would be a great catalyst for discussion...especially if you've never got into details on some of the above. if you can understand each others expectations going in, it will greatly reduce the stress of the first year.
good luck
Are you married, Judge? If so, how many years? I have a feeling that she is right woman.
Thanks for the advice Blue. We have talked about most of these issues in one form or another. Plus, we plan to do some counselling in which we will probably discuss similar issues officially.
Thanks for the advice Blue. We have talked about most of these issues in one form or another. Plus, we plan to do some counselling in which we will probably discuss similar issues officially.
Judge Wapner said:
Marriage is as good as you make it!
Take your time when deciding to do it or not. You really have to know and feel that the girl is truley, without a doubt "the one & only one" for you because if it's not 100% it probably won't work. On the other hand if you're completely sold on her & her on you then you'll never be happier!
P.S. A key ingredient in finding that happiness can be found at your nearest Asian Massage Parlor!
No seriously! Everyone, I don't care who you are, needs to blow off some steam every now & then when part of a serious relationship & nothing helps more IMO than some totally discreet & no-strings attached luvin courtesy of Miss Kim! It's not cheating if no feelings are involved! Remember that! Other people will tell you different but they're just either too scared to do it or telling you some bull$hit they've been taught since kindergarten about right and wrong but have never really put any thinking into it.
Take your time when deciding to do it or not. You really have to know and feel that the girl is truley, without a doubt "the one & only one" for you because if it's not 100% it probably won't work. On the other hand if you're completely sold on her & her on you then you'll never be happier!
P.S. A key ingredient in finding that happiness can be found at your nearest Asian Massage Parlor!
No seriously! Everyone, I don't care who you are, needs to blow off some steam every now & then when part of a serious relationship & nothing helps more IMO than some totally discreet & no-strings attached luvin courtesy of Miss Kim! It's not cheating if no feelings are involved! Remember that! Other people will tell you different but they're just either too scared to do it or telling you some bull$hit they've been taught since kindergarten about right and wrong but have never really put any thinking into it.Bitterlittleman said:
My closing thoughts....If you're a gambler and she's not; Have LOTS of money or ???? I don't know what it will lead. I assume it's your first marriage and I hope the last one for both of you. All the talking will lead nowhere, unless you are beyond the puppy stuff and are TRUELY best friends. That's means you allready know EACH other. Don't wait to ask--do it yesterday.
ope:
Marriage is great as long as you got the right one.
You fuck up and dont get to know your partner from head to toe; in & out you are in for a terrible saga.
But nothing better than coming home to a wife who loves you for richer or poorer and got your back no matter what.
There will always be downs & arguments, but dont let that shit build up or go on for days without addressing the issues that created the disagreement.
And bro they say Shacking up is a sin, but bro you don't know nobody til' you live with em. Its called a test run. LOL
You fuck up and dont get to know your partner from head to toe; in & out you are in for a terrible saga.
But nothing better than coming home to a wife who loves you for richer or poorer and got your back no matter what.
There will always be downs & arguments, but dont let that shit build up or go on for days without addressing the issues that created the disagreement.
And bro they say Shacking up is a sin, but bro you don't know nobody til' you live with em. Its called a test run. LOL
Before getting married, look at your girlfriend as best you can for who she is inside and ask yourself this very important question. Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with until you are both old, have and raise children together, if that is your desire, because appearances will change through time and the person is whom you must be attracted to and not the appearance. If the answer is truly yes for certain and no doubts, then you have a good chance at having a happy and healthy marriage and can work together through most issues. If the answer is maybe or no, then even though you care for her now, in the future, you are likely to have problems that can be too difficult to overcome. Be honest with yourself. Most people don't look past the immediate and find out the hardway in the long run.
First off you had better be best friends. Next there had better be Plenty of money. They say that 2 can live as cheaply as one, has Never tried that.
Also you have to be able to get along with GF's family as they can an will be a problem sooner or later.
Something about signing on the dotted line, changes Everything.
As mentioned here in this thread if you get the "right" one its great, but if not the "right" you will know it shortly.
Moeny, family, are usually the keys to success in this department.
Take a look at GF mother, cause thats what she is going to look like very shortly.
Also once placeing gold on one of those womens fingers, is just like pulling the rip cord on inflateable life raft, they will get bigger!
Make sure that you can carry on Great conversations as time will tell that will be ALL thats left in your senior years.
DO NOT get in the family way with in the first 5 years.
Also you have to be able to get along with GF's family as they can an will be a problem sooner or later.
Something about signing on the dotted line, changes Everything.
As mentioned here in this thread if you get the "right" one its great, but if not the "right" you will know it shortly.
Moeny, family, are usually the keys to success in this department.
Take a look at GF mother, cause thats what she is going to look like very shortly.
Also once placeing gold on one of those womens fingers, is just like pulling the rip cord on inflateable life raft, they will get bigger!
Make sure that you can carry on Great conversations as time will tell that will be ALL thats left in your senior years.
DO NOT get in the family way with in the first 5 years.
