“Watched a hundred hours of The Three Stooges. Every time I felt like smiling, I jabbed myself in the stomach with a cattle prod.”
“I have no home. I'm the wind.”
“We've got files on people who haven't even been born.”
“You think you're real smart. But you're not smart; you're dumb. Very dumb. But you've met your match in me.”
“Nobody can get the truth out of me because even I don't know what it is. I keep myself in a constant state of utter confusion.”
A little more trivia about this song, courtesy of IMDB (Note: Robert Altman directed the original MASH movie):
The 14-year-old son of Robert Altman, Mike Altman, wrote the lyrics to the theme song "Suicide is Painless". Because of its inclusion in the subsequent TV series, he continued to get residuals throughout its run and syndication. His father was paid $75,000 for directing but his son eventually made about $2,000,000 in song royalties.
Larry Gelbart was the head writer for seasons 1-5, after season 5 the show was less funny, just as good, but less funny.
Gelbart wrote the one liners for Linville (Frank, who left after season 5 with Glebart and Winchester came in to replace Linville) Hawkeye and Trapper John.
I used to write a little comedy for a radio show back in the day, it's one thing to write gags, but it's another to deliever them.
Alda and Rogers could deliver one liners like Henny Youngman and Groucho Marx, that's how good they were.
It's all about timing in comedy, any comic worth their weight in salt will tell you that, so it's no coincidence that without the Gelbart and his writing team, the setup man (Frank Burns) and his foil Trapper John, the show would be less funny.
That's when Alda got more involved behind the scenes, the plots were just as good, if not better, but just less comical.
Frank Burns eats worms!!..LMAO..Funny story. My neighbor went to college at Univ Wisc Whitewater. Back in 1988 (I think) Larry Linville was the homecoming celebrity. My buddy said he was EXACTLY like his character in MASH but that it was not an act. He said the guy was super paranoid and was loaded before the evening ceremonies even started. There were numerous stories of Frank around campus during the day and all were on the "a little creepy" side. Too funny.
