Joke

[TheGeneral+]

Pork Vs. Celibacy

A priest and a rabbi are sitting next to each other on an airplane. After
a while the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement
of your faith that you not eat pork?"

The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs." The priest
then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to
temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and
went on with his reading.

A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it
still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?"

The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith."

The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations
of the flesh?"

The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with
my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes,
and then he said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

 

[TheGeneral+]

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was
having sex. Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact the
family's status, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt
to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to
arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then, talk to her and
give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the woman
told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother saying:
"Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned
fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use that kind
of language in the Lord's House."

The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher said, "No shit?"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Brenda and Steve took their six-year-old son to the doctor. With
some hesitation, they explained that although their little angel appeared
to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.

After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed
him pancakes. That should solve the problem ."

The next morning when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large
stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.

"Gee, Mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"

"Just take two," Brenda replied. "The rest are for your father."