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> A Cowboy Story
> >
> >A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the desert
> >without water.
> > His horse has already died of thirst.
> > He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed
> > his last, when all of a sudden, he sees an object sticking out of
the
> sand
> > several yards ahead of him.
> > He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
> > discovers what looks to be an old brief case.
> > He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary
> > genie. She is wearing an Internal Revenue Service ID badge and a
> dull gray dress.
> > There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil
> > tucked behind one ear.
> >
> "Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You
> > have three wishes."
> > "I'm not falling for this." Says the man. "I'm not going to
> > trust an IRS auditor genie."
> > "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and
> > it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
> > The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the
> > genie is right.
> >
> "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and
> drink."
> >
> > ***POOF***
> >
> >
> > The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has
> > ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of
> delicacies.
> > "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
> >
> "My second wish is that I were rich beyond my wildest
> dreams."
> >
> > ***POOF***
> >
> > The man finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled
> > with rare gold coins and precious gems.
> > "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it
> a good one!"
> >
> After thinking for a few minutes, the man says.. "I wish that
> > no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."
> >
> > ***POOF***
> >
> > He is turned into a tampon.
> >
> The moral of the story: If the government offers you
> anything, there's going to be a string attached.
>
>
 

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Why do women wear make up and use perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink!
 

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How long does it take for the average man to have an orgasms?

4 minutes

How long does it take the average woman to have an orgasm?

Who cares?!?
 

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Why do women wear make up and use perfume?

Because they are ugly and they stink!

I told this joke to my niece and she laughed her ass off and said "The reason it is so funny is because its true!"
 

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A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he
> reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was.
>
> Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to
her
and
> noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.
>
> "Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?" she asked.
>
> "They're mating," her father replied.
>
> "What do you call the spider on top, Daddy? she asked.
>
> "That's a Daddy Longlegs." Her father answered.
>
> "So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?" the little girl asked?
>
> "No," her father replied. "Both of them are Daddy Longlegs."
>
> The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them
> flat. "Well, we're not having any of that shit in our garden."
>
>
 

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applaudit.gif
 

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That was a very homophobic/ anti-homosexual joke and very offensive. It's not surprising to see 'The General' applauding it!
 

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See also:

RR Humour.

Was trying to get a jokes thread going a couple of weeks ago. Some good stuff made it in there but it didn't catch on.


Phaedrus
 

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