Husband comes home after tough day and perches himself down in front of the TV with the remote. Says"Honey" can u get me a cold beer from the fridge..it's gonna start soon"..Few momemts later" Oh Honey ..how about a bag of pretzels...its gonna start any second"..."Also can I get one more beer in a frosted mug"...That was the last strwaw as the wife is now really pissed...She says" listen u fat lazy@#$%$$ sob I have been cooking ,cleaning and takin care of 3 kids the whole day and u come in and expect me to wait on u hand and foot and"...husband cuts her off in mid-sentence and says..............." it just started".
This is English humor. I like. It is nice.
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him-"very quick".
The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds ?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Pole: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
LAWYER "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: NO, she white.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: SHE going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read - it says, "Polish Remover".
A Polish man married a Canadian girl after he had been in Canada a year or so and, although his English was far from perfect, they got on very well.
Until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him-"very quick".
The lawyer said that the speed of getting a divorce would depend on the
circumstances and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: Have you any grounds ?
POLE: JA, JA, an acre and half and a nice little home with 3 bedrooms.
LAWYER "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
Pole: "It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," he responded.
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No," he replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
LAWYER "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations are in Poland."
LAWYER: "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Yes, we have hi fidelity stereo set & DVD player with 6.1 sound. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your questions is yes."
LAWYER: No, I mean Does your wife beat you up?
POLE: NO, I'm always up before her.
LAWYER: Is your wife a nagger?
POLE: NO, she white.
LAWYER: WHY do you want this divorce?
POLE: SHE going to kill me.
LAWYER: What makes you think that?
POLE: I got proof.
LAWYER: What kind of proof?
POLE: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at the drug store and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read - it says, "Polish Remover".
