In Barmans world...

[Dawoofdaddy]

1. Police would be blindfolded and only wear knickers and carry water pistols.

2. Only Spanish would be spoken at schools and all gov't offices.

3. Pot and cocaine would replace apple pie and lemonade on store shelves.

4. Poodles would be protected like bald eagles.

5. Star spangled banner would be replaced with song below.

6. Total Recall & Loren78 would be in a mental institution.

7. ????


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[festeringZit]

7. Drive through abortion clinics, since in his words: "it's akin to stomping on a cockroach."

 

[kingbill]

9. Amway would be the only industry

 

[barman]

10) There would be a dress code on Clearwater Beach. Many females would be required to wear much less, while others would be required to get more cover. I would be the final arbiter and would be paid $3000 per day to rend my decisions from my state-financed beachfront palace.

 

[barman]

11) Jean shorts and leather flip-flops would qualify the wearer with an automatic 10% reduction on their federal income tax bill

 

[barman]

12) Major league baseball games would never be played indoors and never before March 20 or after October 20

 

[barman]

13) All RxForum members currently using some silly photo pic for their avatar would be required to replace it with a pic displaying a known cartoon character.

 

[barman]

14) Grass and other residential plants and gardens would be active 12 months a year and people would pay me somewhat absurd amounts to keep them in shape.

oh wait...that one's already in effect

Which is why I gots to bolt and earn some of that there jack before 830pm

cheers!

 

[Mistermj]

15)

 

[Dawoofdaddy]

16. Perez Hilton would be the deciding vote in every future Miss America pageant.

 

[festeringZit]

17. In Barman's world, Tampa Bay would become actually good enough
to win a World Series, instead of a pretender.

 

[cutacrossshorty]

This is my rule (if Barman agrees, all the better):

18. Golf courses need to charge patrons that want to walk more than those who take a cart.

 

[steaktartar]

19. thursday all hitters in MLB will be allowed to use an illuminum bat

 

[ScottL]

19. thursday all hitters in MLB will be allowed to use an illuminum bat

Steak is that a bat that's feeling under the weather? Or a bat that's well-lit?

 

[steaktartar]

Steak is that a bat that's feeling under the weather? Or a bat that's well-lit?

haha im an idiot......I NEED TO BUY A VOWEL

 

[steaktartar]

19. thursday all hitters in MLB will be allowed to use an illuminum bat

20. teach steak tartar how spell aluminum

 

[quantumleap]

21.) There would be no separate restrooms for males or females. Either sex could use any restroom they wished.

 

[Dawoofdaddy]

19. thursday all hitters in MLB will be allowed to use an illuminum bat

Thought there was some inside joke, but now it wasn't a joke, it's hilarious.

@)

The national anthem of illuminum bat lovers.

Come on barman, sing along as I know you know the words to this song.

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[Willie99]

gay couples would be given first priority in all adoption matters

 

[barman]

16. Perez Hilton would be the deciding vote in every future Miss America pageant.

16a) Homphobic bimbos in the M.A. pageant would be counseled to drop out and instead try out for one of the 12 feature models in next year's 700 Club wall calendar