This thread reminds me of one of my favorite oldie but goodie jokes.
Man is at the gym taking shower after workout and sees his buddy has a big schlong,
while his is a more Justin Cruise cocktail weiner sized.
He asks his buddy for secret and big schlong buddy says that he jerks off with butter everyday....
A month goes by and Shorty Cruise sees his buddy again as they are walking into the gym
and Shorty is like Ive been following your instructions but my goo gun is actually getting smaller.
"You been jerking off everyday using butter like I said"
"Well butter was too expensive so I used Crisco instead"
"Well NO wonder bid dummy Cruise, Crisco is shortening!!