I think my girlfriend is about to dump me boys

sickgambler · Jun 12, 2004

Boys, I feel that I am on the verge of losing my girlfriend for good. The reason why is I don't think I am satisfying her in bed. I don't make love to her enough, and I know she thinks I am selfish and inconsiderate. I have a feeling she thinks this, reason why is because she told me. But she also says that she is in love with me and adores me (don't ask me why). But here is the problem boys.. I am not good in bed and my penis is small, it is about 4.6 inches long when erect, which is not good at all. And to top it off, I don't use it good, so I am dead both ways. I am a premature ejaculator. It's frustrating being me because when a woman first looks at me, they really think I have a big penis. I am big, pretty muscular, broad shoulders, big feet, and a humungous nose, and you know what they say about guys with big noses. So girls get excited to get Sick Gambler in bed the first time, until they see it, and then my nightmare begins. You should see the faces on these women, it's like they just died or something. When I pull my pants off for the first time, I usually will hear something like, oh my god, is that it, OR where's the rest of it, OR just plain silence. I hate that boys.

Anyways, I think I am about to lose my girlfriend, I just sense it. She tells me I am worrying for nothing and that when I hold her and cuddle, it is just as good. I don't buy that.. We all know that every woman wants to be penetrated or pleased somehow, which i suck at.

Boys, I really need your help. I don't know anything about a woman's vagina. WTF do I do there? It is so confusing.. I want to make her climax with my mouth, but I struggle down there and my tongue gets very tired after 4 min. I am a lazy guy. But she really pleases me good, but I can't do the same for her. She's pretty too, and very sweet, and treats me like a king. She is 6 foot tall and weighs 132 lbs, and I am only 5'9. Is there any pro out there, or even better, a woman, than can give me tips on how to do this properly. I mean, she tells me about some G-Spot. WTF is a G-Spot and where is it? I can't find it. Why do they make these things so confusing. I usually go down there and just hope for the best. I have made her climax a few times, but it took me 18 to 24 min. I want to finish fast jesus christ so I can get some sleep..Any tips boys, i really would appreciate it. BTW, am I gay? She thinks I have gay tendencies because I love to have anal sex more often than sex, and that I am obsessed with my body and it is not right for a man to count all his calories. Boys, this is not abnormal, right?

Please help before she dumps me for someone that can bang her good, because if I don't improve, Sick Gambler will be single again, and I will NEVER meet another woman as good as this one. She really does LOVE me and no one has ever loved me like this before.

Thanks boys..

(Jesus Christ, I can't believe I just opened up to you losers here)

rscl31 · Jun 12, 2004

I really really hope this is a joke, b/c i was laughing my ass off the whole time i was reading it.

wilheim · Jun 12, 2004

Sounds like a job for Winkyduck.

wil.

RobFunk · Jun 12, 2004

I already placed, and I feel good so I'll make a long ass post.. .come on sick what looks good for 7:05 MLB action?

rscl31 · Jun 12, 2004

however, if it's not a joke just shove some fingers up her anus, she'll love that.

snowtime · Jun 12, 2004

ohhhhh man 1, are u really good with your hands/fingers? If not,then you must've be sucked big time! My thimg is this is use your hands if you are a good hand messager but if not then , I'll be your little lost messenger

SurfBoard · Jun 12, 2004

i got viagra

sickgambler · Jun 12, 2004

hey snowtime, what language was that?? Speak to me in english man, I didn't understand a word you just said. I have no time to sit there and try to figure out what you just said. I am about to lose my woman here and you are talking chinese to me.

I need some real advice here about how to please a woman.. maybe we can get some women here to post.. where's angelle and jenny dav when you need them.. OR even better, where's winkydinky.. I hear he's the woman expert.. How do i satisfy a woman in bed boys.. Come on, my future is on the line here.. I am not pleasing my woman at all, and I am about to loser her, and it's depressing me..

superstar · Jun 12, 2004

SG use your oral skills....

sickgambler · Jun 12, 2004

hey superstar, thanks for the advice, but that's just it, I don't know where to put my tongue. Do i put it on the edges of the vagina, or on the clitoris, or whatever that thing is that's sticking out.. OR do i go for the G-Spot, whatever that is.... I really don't know what to do down there, honest. That place is so confusing..

wilheim · Jun 12, 2004

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wil.

SubZaero · Jun 12, 2004

Let technology work for you

And learn to jerk off

ThrillOfGambling · Jun 12, 2004

might be time to start eatin some ass.

have fun..

sickgambler · Jun 12, 2004

hey sub zaero, if i had a penis that looked like that, I wouldn't be here right now asking you losers for advice. I only wish I had a penis that looked like that. If you put mine next to that one, it'd look like a penis of a 4 yr old. Man, is my penis small!!!!!!! It's tough being me, Subzaero.. 4.6 inches and very thin to top it off.

KeithRichard · Jun 12, 2004

Sick..sorry to hear of the breakup.Heard you and Identity were a cute couple.

snowtime · Jun 12, 2004

I'm sorry about the chinese shit as I type from my nephew's neigborhood internet cafe in near Wrigleyfield in Chitown but soory about your pending fate but need to use your desperate hand to revise her back like the good early younger days!

SubZaero · Jun 12, 2004

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