And it certainly has nothing to do with offshore books et al. but i just felt like posting it.
I finished work today at around 2.00 am, working my ass off till then, and went to a local bar to have a few drinks to saturate my drinking habit before hitting the sack. After a drink or too, i noticed an old girlfried at the bar. She came along and offered me a shot, dont know if that's a regular thing in u.s. bars, but it's quite common here. So we had a that orange tequila. And i bought her one afterwards and we started talking.
Now, when she first came up to me and talked to me i was really feeling tired, drained from work and in general a bit shitty and run down, so i wasnt much of a conversationist. After a few drinks a felt much better. So, to cut a not so long story short, we talked for a while, and i started re-acquaintanting myself with her, and remembering why i liked her that much a couple of years ago, her personality being kind and clever and giving.
At some point she started coming on to me, not in a very overt way but she nevertheless did so. But i was being rather numb in terms of feelings, and we kept talking on and on about our worries, troubles and interests. It was getting late, me and her friends were the only ones left in the bar, and although i was thinking, despite it being late, of asking her to go out for another drink to another bar with me, i didn't, i dont even think i offered a proper goodbye...
Alright, here's my problem now, it's twofold. First of all, i am questioning myself why the fvck i d bring home and do anything to get in the sack with some flashy, sexy no good bitch i ve only just met, why would i get so obsessive on how to get her in bed with me there and then, and i cant find the will or get in the mood to, ask a girl, i like as a person, as a sentient being, and i kinda fancy sexually, for a drink back home...
My other problem, is what i suspect some fellow gamblers here share, my drinking, well, it's started to become problem drinking. Booze is such a depressive and there's a high price to pay for that short lived high it offers, well i am paying the price of a heavy drinking two month period. I ve always liked drinking, and i still do, but lately i just dont like my mood swings, my daily irritability, and this habit of having to down a minimum of two or three rum and cokes a night to chill. I know alcoholism is not that close, or is it?, but still i ve started to feel uncomfortable with this habit, but i keep doing it... That ties in with my mood today, besides my workload, i was just not feeling any good after a lot of heavy drinking this week, and something is telling me that i let a good chance go by due to this depressive booze overload...
well, enough with the rant, hope all you guys are alright. laters.
I finished work today at around 2.00 am, working my ass off till then, and went to a local bar to have a few drinks to saturate my drinking habit before hitting the sack. After a drink or too, i noticed an old girlfried at the bar. She came along and offered me a shot, dont know if that's a regular thing in u.s. bars, but it's quite common here. So we had a that orange tequila. And i bought her one afterwards and we started talking.
Now, when she first came up to me and talked to me i was really feeling tired, drained from work and in general a bit shitty and run down, so i wasnt much of a conversationist. After a few drinks a felt much better. So, to cut a not so long story short, we talked for a while, and i started re-acquaintanting myself with her, and remembering why i liked her that much a couple of years ago, her personality being kind and clever and giving.
At some point she started coming on to me, not in a very overt way but she nevertheless did so. But i was being rather numb in terms of feelings, and we kept talking on and on about our worries, troubles and interests. It was getting late, me and her friends were the only ones left in the bar, and although i was thinking, despite it being late, of asking her to go out for another drink to another bar with me, i didn't, i dont even think i offered a proper goodbye...
Alright, here's my problem now, it's twofold. First of all, i am questioning myself why the fvck i d bring home and do anything to get in the sack with some flashy, sexy no good bitch i ve only just met, why would i get so obsessive on how to get her in bed with me there and then, and i cant find the will or get in the mood to, ask a girl, i like as a person, as a sentient being, and i kinda fancy sexually, for a drink back home...
My other problem, is what i suspect some fellow gamblers here share, my drinking, well, it's started to become problem drinking. Booze is such a depressive and there's a high price to pay for that short lived high it offers, well i am paying the price of a heavy drinking two month period. I ve always liked drinking, and i still do, but lately i just dont like my mood swings, my daily irritability, and this habit of having to down a minimum of two or three rum and cokes a night to chill. I know alcoholism is not that close, or is it?, but still i ve started to feel uncomfortable with this habit, but i keep doing it... That ties in with my mood today, besides my workload, i was just not feeling any good after a lot of heavy drinking this week, and something is telling me that i let a good chance go by due to this depressive booze overload...
well, enough with the rant, hope all you guys are alright. laters.
