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GOOD GOLF JOKES??
- Thread starter mr.teaser
- Start date
Profanity
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some
horrible
language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was playing golf and hit an incredible drive that looked like
it
was
going to go over 240 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging
over
the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the
bushes
and
grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle
came
down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to
fly
away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it
flew
near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap,
rolled
onto the green, and stopped about two feet from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and
said, "You missed the fvcking putt, didn't you?"
A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some
horrible
language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."
"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.
"Well, I was playing golf and hit an incredible drive that looked like
it
was
going to go over 240 yards, but it struck a phone line that is hanging
over
the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
"Is that when you swore?"
"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the
bushes
and
grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.
"Well, no," says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle
came
down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to
fly
away!"
"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.
"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it
flew
near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."
"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.
"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap,
rolled
onto the green, and stopped about two feet from the hole."
The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed and
said, "You missed the fvcking putt, didn't you?"
A young man and a priest are playing together. At a short par-3 the priest
>
> asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son?"
> The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
> The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
> The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest
> tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
> The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when
> we pray, we keep our head down
> Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron
> standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your
> husband?"
> "Yes" says the woman.
> "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
> "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her
> hands on her face.
> "How many times did you hit him?"
> "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a
> five
>
> asks, "What are you going to use on this hole my son?"
> The young man says, "An 8-iron, father. How about you?"
> The priest says, "I'm going to hit a soft seven and pray."
> The young man hits his 8-iron and puts the ball on the green. The priest
> tops his 7-iron and dribbles the ball out a few yards.
> The young man says, "I don't know about you father, but in my church when
> we pray, we keep our head down
> Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 5-iron
> standing over a lifeless man. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your
> husband?"
> "Yes" says the woman.
> "Did you hit him with that golf club?"
> "Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her
> hands on her face.
> "How many times did you hit him?"
> "I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times.....just put me down for a
> five
