Get me out of jury duty

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Oh boy!
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Without looking like a clown, this is what you do. Dress business-like and walk in with a newspaper. The defense doesn't want anyone who looks like they may have an opinion on a case. The prosecution doesn't want you there potentially sharing facts with a newspaper. Also by dressing business-like, you will look smarter than 99% of the people, something the defense doesn't want either.

This has worked for me every time. My uncle is a lawyer and told me how to do this.

I have a friend who is a journalist. She said the same things you mention here that defense attorneys don't want someone who can think for themselves. They want someone who can be swayed. People who are journalists or who are related to news organizations are taught to think for themselves. I realize it doesn't always work for them but that is what they are taught.

The time I was on jury duty the judge asked each potential juror how they felt about the police, whether they had a bad experience with the police. Everyone who said they didn't trust the police or had a bad experience with them was not chosen.
 

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Have you signed any certified mail? Have you in anyway corresponded with the court? If not, well then you never received notice of anything - it must have gotten lost in the mail.

If you signed something relating to the jury duty - then during the jury selection - just say something blantantly biased for one side - i.e., in a criminal case say, "well, you just don't get arrested if your innocent"
 

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I never sign a certified unless I know who it is from and I never give out my actual address - everything goes to a PO Box - when the post office gives me a certified - I look to see who sent it - if I see it is hostile in nature - I tell them I don't want it and I don't sign for it - return to sender
 

ECS

Cincinnati: F U Mike Brown
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Is this a joke? I don't want to be an asshole, but those of us that do have "9-5" jobs (more like 7 or 8-5 by the way) don't get all of this free-time and are still expected to do things like jury duty. You work (as a teacher--anything else you do is on your own accord) 8 months out of the year and complain about not having enough time off--and don't pretend these are full 8 hour days you're working either--yet you have great benefits and make something ridiculous hourly if you actually calculate salary/hours worked.
No offense here, but that's retarded. Fucking teachers never know how good they have it. I wish that's what I'd done with my life.

Oh, I know exactly how good I have it bro, to the T :tongue2:

However, the one thing summers are for is family, unlike a conventional job I can't just up and leave for a few weeks to go on vacation, all of my vacations have to be crammed into basically a month and half. Since vacation and family time is very important to me I go on at LEAST 2 vacations a year (this year is vegas where I will spend one night not doing family things and hopefully getting wasted with GD and anyone else that happens to be their, and hiking/bike riding in the smokies)

Btw, you are correct, my pay per hour is just sick, however I am not getting rich over here by any means, in fact I would venture to say I have 4 income sources (teacher, coach, poker and my own little business)
 

ECS

Cincinnati: F U Mike Brown
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Have you signed any certified mail? Have you in anyway corresponded with the court? If not, well then you never received notice of anything - it must have gotten lost in the mail.

If you signed something relating to the jury duty - then during the jury selection - just say something blantantly biased for one side - i.e., in a criminal case say, "well, you just don't get arrested if your innocent"


I can't decide which way I want to go, the biased for the cops or biased the other way around, I HAVE had some unpleasant experiences with police, and every time it was when a crime had been committed to me or my family.
 

New member
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If you ever pulled the 'support the troops because they are protecting our democracy' cord on one side of your posts and on the other are looking for the scam weasel out of jury duty, then you can kiss my righteous ass. Lots of us have had trouble with the cops. Worst thing you can do is vacate your spot and let the cops/system work a maybe weaker someone else.
 

ECS

Cincinnati: F U Mike Brown
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If you ever pulled the 'support the troops because they are protecting our democracy' cord on one side of your posts and on the other are looking for the scam weasel out of jury duty, then you can kiss my righteous ass. Lots of us have had trouble with the cops. Worst thing you can do is vacate your spot and let the cops/system work a maybe weaker someone else.

exactly how does this apply to me not wanting to do jury duty? I am failing to see the connection. Of course I support the troops, know many that would rather be at home then fighting this "war"
 

Rx God
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They should have professional jurors, or make unemployed people getting benefits do it.
 

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1) affirm you don't swear

just say no i affirm they don't like this at all

2) act like you know the defendant

just yell out hey jimmy whats up hows your mom

:toast:
 

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easy as that
this is from one of the funniest Curb Your Enthusiasm episodes...Larry gets two tickets for a Dodger game, finds traffic too snarled to make it to the stadium on time, picks up a hooker so he can use the express lane, buys some grass for his father's glaucoma, then his friend ends up wearing his jacket with the dope in it and gets nailed at the airport, the big-titted black hooker and Larry's dad get stoned along with Larry, then he has to go in front of the judge that was ruling on the jury he was supposed to be on. There's about 25 things on the single episode that are great. That jury episode was the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread
 

Rx .Junior
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I have served on a jury and I thought that it was an interesting experience. It lasted more than 3 weeks and it did honk up my schedule a bit, but it was still something that I would encourage anyone to do, it was very worthwhile and our civic duty.

Having said that, I did notice patterns in people that were dismissed. Most people will tell you to say that you had a bad experience with a cop. BUT, I would go the other way with it. If I wanted to get dismissed, and not look like a jack-ass in the process, I would say, "I believe that cops can do no wrong, this trial is just a due process of law and that the defendant is most likely already guilty. Cops don't arrest innocent people, so if the defendant is here and needing a trial, he probably did it. I've never just been randomly arrested and put in jail, so if you reach this point in life, then you probably DID do something wrong."
 

RX Member
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yes. Why? Were you expecting righteous indignation that he would try to escape his civic duty? BTW, if it wasn't clear from my initial post, 1-5 are how he claims to have gotten off.

I was just wondering, cause I thought I remember you stating you were...I figured you would be a good candidate to answer his question.
 

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