Germany Has Trouble Locating Jews to Blame for Economic Woes
3/7/2003 - William Grim
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Berlin - Speaking after an emergency meeting of his cabinet, German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said that his government is having a great deal of difficulty locating Jews to blame for the recession the German economy is currently experiencing.
A plan for economic revival devised by the German Council of Economic Advisors called "Operation Scapegoat" has had to be put on hold until sufficient numbers of Jews can be found.
Warning that the current Jew shortage has reached crisis proportions, Chancellor Schroeder told this reporter that his government is planning on offering cash incentives to German Catholics and Lutherans to convert to Judaism so that they can be blamed for the recession.
When asked if his government would ever consider lowering Germany's extremely high taxes in order to jump start the economy, Schroeder sneered and replied, "That's a typical simplistic American solution. We Germans are going to stick with blaming an innocent minority group for all of our problems. You know what they say-you dance with the one what brung ya."
In related news, German Minister of Immigration Horst Himmler announced today a new marketing campaign designed to attract Jews in Israel to return to Germany so that they can be expelled again. Ads for the Germany-The Land Everyone Loves to Hate! ad campaign will start appearing in print and on TV during the February sweeps.
3/7/2003 - William Grim
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Berlin - Speaking after an emergency meeting of his cabinet, German Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder said that his government is having a great deal of difficulty locating Jews to blame for the recession the German economy is currently experiencing.
A plan for economic revival devised by the German Council of Economic Advisors called "Operation Scapegoat" has had to be put on hold until sufficient numbers of Jews can be found.
Warning that the current Jew shortage has reached crisis proportions, Chancellor Schroeder told this reporter that his government is planning on offering cash incentives to German Catholics and Lutherans to convert to Judaism so that they can be blamed for the recession.
When asked if his government would ever consider lowering Germany's extremely high taxes in order to jump start the economy, Schroeder sneered and replied, "That's a typical simplistic American solution. We Germans are going to stick with blaming an innocent minority group for all of our problems. You know what they say-you dance with the one what brung ya."
In related news, German Minister of Immigration Horst Himmler announced today a new marketing campaign designed to attract Jews in Israel to return to Germany so that they can be expelled again. Ads for the Germany-The Land Everyone Loves to Hate! ad campaign will start appearing in print and on TV during the February sweeps.
