Does the thought of your ex-wife make you sick?

Journeyman · May 20, 2004

Unfortunately I have to see 'it' twice a week for many years still as we have a child together... She holds all the cards with the child custody laws all stacked on her side, and anytime we have a disagreement she always threatens to use it against me, I feel I have enough leverage but just knowing I could be pulled back into court is not a pleasant feeling ...My only hope is , well when I think of it I will post it....

Any advice on how to handle the mental anguish of this situation?

newbie666 · May 20, 2004

how old the child is

theswami · May 20, 2004

Jman-

I didn't realize you had an ex. How old is the child? You pain will probably end when the kid finishes college or moves out.

TheGeneral+ · May 20, 2004

Only advice I can give Jman is to overlook most of her negative. Life is short and no need to even worry over it. I can relate 100% but refuse to play the little games.

Journeyman · May 20, 2004

My child is 7...I have raised her 50% of the time since she was 1...This is what gets me...I feel like I have no rights...I work day and night have my daughter friday thru monday morning during school and 4 nights a week during summer, yet I am suppose to pay child support too lol...My ex lives in a half million dollar house and doesn`t work , and is completely oblivious to the real world...I already pay for my daughter with the set ARRAINGEMENT...But now that might not be good enough...

I feel like crushing her peabrain sometimes, anytime we have a disagreement she threatens to have me in court..lol I have hidden all my assets, have to watch how I spend and show any value in my name etc...

If there is a God I know he`s watching this, and I will have the last laugh!
BTW- I don`t mind raising my child at all thats not my point, I just feel that I have no chance to compete in this matter... also I don`t play a good game when I trail,lol...I am use to being in front and this playing catchup sucks...out!

mvbski · May 20, 2004

I feel for you Jman been there done that

SportsBettingTrivia.com · May 20, 2004

Journeyman..

Nobody..Nobody..had a worse divorce than I did..The process is like taking a shower, one in which no matter how hard you scrub, you always feel dirty..

My advice is to take the high road..With the kid never make it a contest, because in the end the truth will prevail..Remember, kids favor their mothers, and so do the laws..

Be the best parent you can be, you would have done that even had you stayed..Be patient, and always try to be optimistic even during the most painful times..

Remember in the end it will always be OK..And if its not OK..Its not the end..

Kids are resiliant..Its better to be with a single parent who is functional, then two people who are at it all the time..

Good Luck..

Barry Clark

OMNIVOROUS FROG · May 20, 2004

12 years ago, I had 2 kids by this super rich spoiled girl. Family lived in multi million dollar spread, own Mercedes dealership, real estate and real estate companies. She ended up being an alcoholic from alcoholic parents. She could not even get the 5 year old to kindergarten. I got the Guatemalan bombshell, or she got me, to be psuedo couple. Went to court. Family planning. Gained full custody of the kids. No child support. No visitation by her. I got them when they were 4 and 5. Now 16 and 17. I was working nights, 5 year old I trained to get ready to go to school by himself. 4 year old daughter just hung out with me. I actually latch keyed them at night until the Mean Mayan Midget moved in. It was well worth it. Family is number one in my priorities...OF

appolo · May 20, 2004

Christ OF, reading your post It was like looking at myself with a few differences. I got the kids and a hell of a settlement plus child support. Also I haven't moved a new one in yet, I think it would be wierd for the kids, there 10 year old twins. But then again I enjoy our life together and am fortunate enough to be able to stay home with them. The ex sees them maybe once a month which isnt enough in my opinion. What can you do?

TheGeneral+ · May 20, 2004

Its a tough spot to dislike the mother of your kids. Very difficult.

Dante · May 20, 2004

never had that problem..

ask Fishhead..his women problems alone are enough to make anyone sick

Journeyman · May 20, 2004

I do agree with alot of what you guys say...I do not agree though, that the kids always favor the mother...most of the time yes, not all...and not in my case

I just fear the words 'court' and 'child support' ...we have an agreement, I will not give in...I probably will never have to give in as my daughter would not let my ex get away with putting the screws to me...

Being a parent is the most worthwhile thing a person can do IMO...its not a competition with me but sometimes it does feel like it...all in all I have it good , as good as it can be under the circumstances...I do not know how some people can take it though...especially when you have your child living part of the time with people you don`t really know (I`m talking about the new husband, and his family)...I don`t believe in violence but its no wonder things can get carried away in these situations...

mvbski · May 20, 2004

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>I just fear the words 'court' and 'child support' ...we have an agreement,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I sure hope you have it in writing,signed by both parties otherwise she could really give you the shaft

PeteRoseJR · May 20, 2004

My dad always used to say " If I would've killed her the first time I thought about it, I d be out on parole by now" haha

PRJ

DarrylParsons · May 20, 2004

PRJ, good one!

JMan,

Ever thought about having more kids besides the one? Could be a good diversion to dilute the pain even if it won't ever go away.

I would say girls tend to favor the father more often, even though the contact is less frequent. The mother usually badmouths the father and the boys eat it up while the girls see that the father is loving and good to her so the mother's badmouthing tends to backfire. At least this is what I've observed.

-Slim- · May 21, 2004

hmmm, and here I am really wanting a kid

JohnnyDeMarco · May 21, 2004

Journey
just be lucky you get to see your daughter. I have an 8 year old in Miami who I get to see about once a year. I am suppose to be on the every other weekend deal and the summer. Her Mom is Colombian and she sorta has this unwritten rule if my daughter comes she comes too and if I press it she'll be on the first plane to Bogota.

Journeyman · May 21, 2004

I know relatively speaking I am 'lucky' ...there are many horror stories just like yours....

I will never have anoher, for this reason...

newbie666 · May 21, 2004

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http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/Group_X_video.html

NickyDeuces · May 21, 2004

>>Does the thought of your ex-wife make you sick?<<

No , but even money shot the thought of me pisses her off.

"See ya honey. Going to the races in New Orleans for the weekend."

Show up home two weeks later. She put up with it for quite some time. But eventually, to borrow from Willie, "I saw a woman with a heart of gold turn to stone." I'm blaming it all on my roots. (third generation gambler) But it has worked how well. She's doing great. I get to do my thing. Imo, year round gambling and marriage don't mix.