It hardly matters. The way the man looked, he probably won't make it another year. It isn't like they're going to go to no uncertain medical expense to keep the guy alive:
Or maybe they will, so he can serve as an example....
(Saddam is led into the prison infirmary for his annual exam)
Prison Doctor: My assistant said your temperature and blood pressure are fine. How do you feel in general?
Saddam: Lousy.
Doctor: You're right in character then. Any specific complaints?
Saddam: (makes a movement) It hurts when I do this.
Doctor: Then don't DO that, Stupid.
Saddam: And I have this lump under my left arm.
Doctor: Let's see here...(examines Saddam's left underarm).... yes you do. Raise your right arm, please.....(swats Saddam on the right underarm with a reflex mallet)
Saddam: Ouch!
Doctor: There, now you have one on the other side to match it.
Saddam: Doc, I feel tired and rundown all the time.
Doctor: Have you been taking a dose of that prescription I gave you three times a day?
Saddam: Yes, and it helps a little.
Doctor: It does? (absent-mindedly) Hmm, I must not have put enough Ipecac in it.
Saddam: Huh?
Doctor: Ahem! I said that's good. Here, let me check your sinuses (takes out his otoscope and jams it in turn up each of Saddam's nostrils)
Saddam: ARRRGH!
Doctor: Too hard? Sorry. Nose looks fine, or at least it did till ten seconds ago. Here, hold this tissue to it. The bleeding will stop in a few minutes. Now let's check your ears....(yanks hard in turn on each of Saddam's ear lobes).
Saddam: Owww!
Doctor: (Probes around with the otoscope) Ears are fine. Take your shirt off so I can check your lungs and heart. (puts stethoscope to Saddam's chest)
Saddam: GRRRAGGGGGH! That's cold!
Doctor: It is? Hmm, I guess I shouldn't have stored it in dry ice.....lungs and heart are fine. Sit on that table and we'll test your reflexes.....cross your legs, please....(whacks the knee with the mallet hard enough that the sound can be heard two blocks away.
Saddam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
Doctor: You screamed almost instantly. Your reflexes are fine. Now let's check your hernia.....(thrusts his finger upwards hard in the general area of the hernia)
Saddam: EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!
Doctor: Oh, my bad. Too far forward. Sorry about that, I'm just so clumsy today.....Hernia is fine.....The X-rays they took are all negative, the tests and blood work they ran are all okay, that lump isn't cancerous, and everything else is as good as can be expected.
Saddam (holding his groin with one hand and the tissue to his nose with the other): Then I'll live a while longer?
Doctor: Oh, you'll live at least another ten or fifteen years. Free rent, food, and medical. Of course there's not much variety in the view and you can't go anywhere or do a much of anything, but hey, you're alive, and that's what counts, right? Of course the next life might not be so hot, or should I say it might not be so cool, eh? Guard, I'm finished with the patient. You can take him away.
Guard: Yes, sir.
Doctor: Oh, and guard, would you have supplies send up a couple of cans of disinfectant and a can of air freshener, please?
Or maybe they will, so he can serve as an example....
(Saddam is led into the prison infirmary for his annual exam)
Prison Doctor: My assistant said your temperature and blood pressure are fine. How do you feel in general?
Saddam: Lousy.
Doctor: You're right in character then. Any specific complaints?
Saddam: (makes a movement) It hurts when I do this.
Doctor: Then don't DO that, Stupid.
Saddam: And I have this lump under my left arm.
Doctor: Let's see here...(examines Saddam's left underarm).... yes you do. Raise your right arm, please.....(swats Saddam on the right underarm with a reflex mallet)
Saddam: Ouch!
Doctor: There, now you have one on the other side to match it.
Saddam: Doc, I feel tired and rundown all the time.
Doctor: Have you been taking a dose of that prescription I gave you three times a day?
Saddam: Yes, and it helps a little.
Doctor: It does? (absent-mindedly) Hmm, I must not have put enough Ipecac in it.
Saddam: Huh?
Doctor: Ahem! I said that's good. Here, let me check your sinuses (takes out his otoscope and jams it in turn up each of Saddam's nostrils)
Saddam: ARRRGH!
Doctor: Too hard? Sorry. Nose looks fine, or at least it did till ten seconds ago. Here, hold this tissue to it. The bleeding will stop in a few minutes. Now let's check your ears....(yanks hard in turn on each of Saddam's ear lobes).
Saddam: Owww!
Doctor: (Probes around with the otoscope) Ears are fine. Take your shirt off so I can check your lungs and heart. (puts stethoscope to Saddam's chest)
Saddam: GRRRAGGGGGH! That's cold!
Doctor: It is? Hmm, I guess I shouldn't have stored it in dry ice.....lungs and heart are fine. Sit on that table and we'll test your reflexes.....cross your legs, please....(whacks the knee with the mallet hard enough that the sound can be heard two blocks away.
Saddam: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!
Doctor: You screamed almost instantly. Your reflexes are fine. Now let's check your hernia.....(thrusts his finger upwards hard in the general area of the hernia)
Saddam: EEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!
Doctor: Oh, my bad. Too far forward. Sorry about that, I'm just so clumsy today.....Hernia is fine.....The X-rays they took are all negative, the tests and blood work they ran are all okay, that lump isn't cancerous, and everything else is as good as can be expected.
Saddam (holding his groin with one hand and the tissue to his nose with the other): Then I'll live a while longer?
Doctor: Oh, you'll live at least another ten or fifteen years. Free rent, food, and medical. Of course there's not much variety in the view and you can't go anywhere or do a much of anything, but hey, you're alive, and that's what counts, right? Of course the next life might not be so hot, or should I say it might not be so cool, eh? Guard, I'm finished with the patient. You can take him away.
Guard: Yes, sir.
Doctor: Oh, and guard, would you have supplies send up a couple of cans of disinfectant and a can of air freshener, please?
