Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

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Handicapper
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Save My Iced Grande Latte!
By Greg Mankiw

News from Scrappleface:

Congress to Halt Closing of Unprofitable Starbucks

Democrats in Congress today plan to introduce a bill to halt the recently-announced closing of some 600 Starbucks coffee stores, noting that the displacement of 12,000 Starbucks baristas would overwhelm government aid offices not prepared to handle so many clients for whom English is a second language....

"These people can't just walk out of Starbucks and get a job at a grocery store or a factory," said House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-CA. "They would need ESL classes and cultural training to learn how to relate to ordinary Americans and function in society."...

"This is just another one of our heroic Democrat efforts to protect Americans from the impact of the Bush economic policies," said Rep. Pelosi. "Under this president, America has become a cold and desolate place where corporations cut unprofitable activities to focus on increasing the bottom line, and returning value to shareholders. When Democrats retake the White House next year, we will reverse that trend."
 

Officially Punching out Nov 25th
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These guys are hilarious...Thanks for posting
 

Life's a bitch, then you die!
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I really don't think that government can force a company to keep non profitable stores open. Besides by the time the bill makes it to a vote Starbucks will have probably already gone broke. So much for free enterprize.
 

RX resident ChicAustrian
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How much longer until we can get our guns and throw these idiots out?
 

the bear is back biatches!! printing cancel....
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its a spoof dave and guitarjosh

or are you playing along with the joke?

well for now its a joke....we'll see as this thing unfolds...LOL
 

Life's a bitch, then you die!
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its a spoof dave and guitarjosh

or are you playing along with the joke?

well for now its a joke....we'll see as this thing unfolds...LOL

It appears I’ve been had :monsters-

Good one :hahahahah
 

Pro Handi-Craper My Picks are the shit
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I want to pimp all the girls with the nose ring that work at the closing starducks. I found a great place to market them on Craigslist.
 

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I want to pimp all the girls with the nose ring that work at the closing starducks. I found a great place to market them on Craigslist.
:lolBIG:

you can also pimp out all the emo male baristas. :missingte
 

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