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Scenes From Sin City: Strategy is the name of the game for one bettor


As 1:30 p.m. approached on Friday afternoon, bettors began crowding the counter inside the Golden Nugget sportsbook, eagerly awaiting the official posting of lines on the college football Games of the Year. But not everybody was there to bet.


Some people were there to learn, perhaps to plot a little strategy for the 2015 season. One of those people was Fred, a longtime bettor who’s lived in Las Vegas since 1977 and has been to the Nugget for this grand annual event since it started in 2007.


“I want to see the opening numbers, because it’s the first site with numbers, other than a few offshore places,” said Fred, who asked not to have his last name used. “Then I’ll come back in maybe a week and see how the numbers have moved, see what bettors think of the numbers.”


But right at the top of the Golden Nugget’s paper packet of lines on the 166 games, one line caught Fred’s eye.


“I made Utah -7,” Fred said of the Utes’ season opener, at home against Michigan and new coach Jim Harbaugh. “They made Utah -4. If I ever saw a 3, I’d definitely jump on it. But I expect it to go up.”


A couple more strategies are also in play for Fred.


“When I bet underdogs, I bet half of my money on the first half. We don’t get first-half numbers yet,” he said. “And another thing is there is no money line yet. These are all things I look at. The Games of the Year kind of gets the ball rolling, gets you interested in college football.”
 

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Scenes From Sin City: Lines move fast and furious at Golden Nugget


They say discretion is the better part of valor. Many sports bettors certainly feel that way, preferring to ply their trade with at least some level of anonymity.


Several of those types were on hand Friday afternoon at the Golden Nugget sportsbook for the unveiling of lines for the 2015 college football Games of the Year.


One such bettor prefers to go by the moniker “Slam.”


“I’m world famous,” Slam joked, though it appears he’s got a little fame. His Twitter handle is @slamdeal, where he goes by the name Slamuel L. Drunkson. (Hat tip to Samuel L. Jackson, I presume.) He’s got more than 1,400 followers, so he’s got something going on.


Slam has lived in Vegas for 15 years, but he’s a newcomer to the Games of the Year festivities.


“This is my first time doing it, so it’s cool,” he said. “The lines move super fast though, sometimes two or three points within a few seconds. There were a couple games I was going to bet that I couldn’t hit anymore.”


One such contest was Notre Dame-Georgia Tech, with the Irish opening as 2-point home chalk.


“It moved to 3 as I got to the front of the line, then immediately to 4,” Slam said. “It’s crazy. There are so many games (166), but enough people are picking the same games that the line moves.”


Still, he was happy to get Brigham Young at plus-12 on a neutral field against Missouri among the five games he bet. He and several others in his group – who all wished to remain anonymous while piling up major wagers – enjoyed the vibe as much as the opportunity to bet.


“The book is getting decent money, people are betting thousands of dollars,” he said. “They’ll probably take in more today than in a whole week of baseball.”
 

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Trends - Edmonton at Toronto


ATS TRENDS


Edmonton


Eskimos are 8-2 ATS in their last 10 games overall.
Eskimos are 7-2 ATS in their last 9 Saturday games.
Eskimos are 11-5 ATS in their last 16 road games.
Eskimos are 4-9 ATS in their last 13 games in Week 1.
Eskimos are 2-5 ATS in their last 7 games in June.


Toronto


Argonauts are 1-5 ATS in their last 6 home games.
Argonauts are 1-5 ATS in their last 6 games overall.
Argonauts are 1-6 ATS in their last 7 Saturday games.


OU TRENDS




Edmonton


Under is 5-1 in Eskimos last 6 games overall.
Under is 6-2 in Eskimos last 8 games in June.
Under is 5-2 in Eskimos last 7 road games.
Under is 5-2 in Eskimos last 7 games in Week 1.


Toronto


Under is 4-0 in Argonauts last 4 games overall.
Under is 10-2 in Argonauts last 12 games in Week 1.
Under is 16-5 in Argonauts last 21 games in June.


HEAD TO HEAD

Over is 5-0 in the last 5 meetings.
Eskimos are 5-1 ATS in their last 6 meetings in Toronto.
Over is 4-1 in the last 5 meetings in Toronto.
Eskimos are 6-2 ATS in their last 8 meetings.
 

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Trends - Winnipeg at Saskatchewan


ATS TRENDS




Winnipeg

Blue Bombers are 8-20-3 ATS in their last 31 vs. West.
Blue Bombers are 3-9 ATS in their last 12 games in June.
Blue Bombers are 1-5-2 ATS in their last 8 games overall.
Blue Bombers are 1-6-3 ATS in their last 10 Saturday games.




Saskatchewan


Roughriders are 6-0 ATS in their last 6 games in June.
Roughriders are 36-15 ATS in their last 51 games in Week 1.
Roughriders are 1-5 ATS in their last 6 home games.
Roughriders are 1-5 ATS in their last 6 vs. West.
Roughriders are 1-8 ATS in their last 9 games overall.




OU TRENDS




Winnipeg


Under is 20-6 in Blue Bombers last 26 Saturday games.
Under is 45-21-1 in Blue Bombers last 67 road games.




Saskatchewan


Over is 5-1 in Roughriders last 6 games in Week 1.
Under is 4-1 in Roughriders last 5 Saturday games.
Under is 13-6 in Roughriders last 19 vs. West.


HEAD TO HEAD


Blue Bombers are 2-5 ATS in their last 7 meetings in Saskatchewan.
 

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WNBA


SEATTLE:


Under is 7-3 in SEA last 10 road games.
SEA are 6-13 ATS in their last 19 games overall.


SAN ANTONIO:


SA are 2-5-1 ATS in their last 8 Sat. games.


HEAD TO HEAD:


SEA are 16-6-1 ATS in the last 23 meetings.
 

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Team Open Line Movements Current Moneyline Halftime Scores


8:00 PM EDT


651 SEATTLE STORM 143 143 / 142.5 143 +183
652 SA STARS -3.5 -5 -06 / -4.5 / -5 -5 -05 -215


TV: FS-Southwest, DTV: 676


8:00 PM EDT


653 PHOENIX MERCURY 153 152u16 / 152u23 / 150.5 150 +255
654 MINNESOTA LYNX -7.5 -7.5 / -7 -7 -05 -310

PHO-C-Brittney Griner-Probable | PHO-G-Diana Taurasi-OUT | TV: FS-Arizona, FS-North, DTV: 668, 686
 

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Team Pitcher Open Line Movements Current Runline Scores




3:05 PM EDT


901 WASHINGTON NATIONALS (L) Gonzalez, G -173 -166 / -170 / -163 -155 -1.5(+105)
902 PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES (L) Morgan, A 8 8 / 8o15 / 8 8u20 +1.5(-125)


WAS-LF-Bryce Harper-? | TV: MASN, DTV: 640 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, 60% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND RIGHT TO LEFT 9-14. GAME TEMP 72, RH 73% HEAT INDEX 75


4:05 PM EDT


903 ATLANTA BRAVES (R) Teheran, J 7o20 7o20 / 7 7o20 +1.5(-160)
904 PITTSBURGH PIRATES (R) Morton, C -167 -165 / -170 / -173 -170 -1.5(+140)

TV: FS-South, ROOT-Pittsburgh, DTV: 646, 659 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, 70% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND IN FROM RIGHT 6-11. GAME TEMP 70, RH 78% HEAT INDEX 72


4:05 PM EDT


905 COLORADO ROCKIES (L) Rusin, C 7o25 7o25 / 7o30 / 7o32 7.5 +1.5(-175)
906 SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS (R) Lincecum, T -153 -148 / -145 / -143 -141 -1.5(+155)


TV: CSN-Bay, ROOT-Rocky Mountain, DTV: 683, 696 | PARTLY CLOUDY, WIND OUT TO LEFT CENTER 10-15. GAME TEMP 77, RH 51% HEAT INDEX 79


4:10 PM EDT


907 CINCINNATI REDS (R) Lorenzen, M 6.5o15 6.5 / 6.5u13 / 6.5u15 6.5u20 +1.5(-170)
908 NEW YORK METS (R) Harvey, M -172 -170 / -171 / -173 -157 -1.5(+150)

TV: FS-Ohio, DTV: 661 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, 60% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND IN FROM RIGHT 11-16. GAME TEMP 69, RH 68%


4:10 PM EDT

909 LOS ANGELES DODGERS (L) Kershaw, C -195 -235 / -240 / -235 -240 -1.5(-135)
910 MIAMI MARLINS (R) Koehler, T 6.5o20 7u22 / 7u20 / 7u25 6.5 +1.5(+115)

MIA-RF-Giancarlo Stanton-Doubtful | TV: FS-Florida, DTV: 654 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, 30% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND IN FROM RIGHT CENTER 7-12. GAME TEMP 89, RH 59% HEAT INDEX 97 (MARLINS STADIUM ROOF CLOSES IN WET WEATHER)


7:15 PM EDT


911 CHICAGO CUBS (R) Roach, D 7.5 7.5 +1.5(-160)
912 ST LOUIS CARDINALS (R) Wacha, M -165 -165 -164 -1.5(+140)

STL-LF-Matt Holliday-OUT | TV: FOX | PARTLY CLOUDY, WIND LEFT TO RIGHT 4-9. GAME TEMP 75, RH 55% HEAT INDEX 78


10:10 PM EDT


913 ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS (R) Hellickson, J 7u20 7u20 / 7 / 7u30 6.5o15 +1.5(-190)
914 SAN DIEGO PADRES (R) Cashner, A -140 -135 / -134 / -132 -129 -1.5(+160)

TV: FS-Arizona, DTV: 686 | PARTLY CLOUDY, WIND IN FROM LEFT 8-13. GAME TEMP 71, RH 65% HEAT INDEX 72


1:05 PM EDT


915 TEXAS RANGERS (R) Gallardo, Y 9 9u20 / 8.5o15 / 8.5 8.5o25 +1.5(-145)
916 TORONTO BLUE JAYS (L) Boyd, M -119 -146 / -149 / -162 -163 -1.5(+125)

TV: FS-Southwest, DTV: 676 | PARTLY CLOUDY, 60% CHANCE RAIN. WIND RIGHT TO LEFT 8-13. GAME TEMP 68, RH 60% (ROGERS CENTRE ROOF CLOSES IN WET WEATHER)


4:05 PM EDT


917 KANSAS CITY ROYALS (R) Young, C 7.5u15 7.5u15 +1.5(-170)
918 OAKLAND ATHLETICS (L) Kazmir, S -132 -147 / -148 / -150 -150 -1.5(+150)

OAK-C-Stephen Vogt-? | TV: CSN-California, FS-Kansas City, DTV: 672, 698 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, WIND OUT TO RIGHT CENTER 7-12. GAME TEMP 69, RH 63%


4:05 PM EDT


919 CHICAGO WHITE SOX (L) Danks, J 9o15 9o30 / 9.5u20 / 9.5u15 9.5o15 +1.5(-150)
920 DETROIT TIGERS (L) Ryan, K -166 -165 / -161 / -156 -148 -1.5(+130)

TV: CSN-Chicago, FS-Detroit, DTV: 663, 665 | CLOUDY, 80% CHANCE SHOWERS. WIND OUT TO RIGHT 12-17, GUSTY. GAME TEMP 65, RH 72%


4:10 PM EDT


921 NEW YORK YANKEES (R) Tanaka, M -125 -121 / -125 / -120 -121 -1.5(+125)
922 HOUSTON ASTROS (L) Oberholtzer, B 7.5o15 7.5o15 / 7.5o20 / 7.5o15 7.5 +1.5(-145)

TV: ROOT-Southwest, YES, DTV: 631, 674 | PARTLY CLOUDY, 30% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND OUT TO RIGHT 7-12. GAME TEMP 91, RH 55% HEAT INDEX 100 (MINUTE MAID PARK ROOF CLOSES IN WET WEATHER)


4:10 PM EDT


923 BOSTON RED SOX (L) Miley, W 7.5o20 7.5o20 / 7.5 / 7.5u11 7.5u15 +1.5(-200)
924 TAMPA BAY RAYS (R) Andriese, M -115 -125 / -128 / -120 -121 -1.5(+170)


BOS-LF-Hanley Ramirez-? | TV: SunSports, DTV: 653 | Dome


7:15 PM EDT


925 CLEVELAND INDIANS (R) Anderson, C 9u15 8.5o12 / 8.5o15 / 8.5o26 8.5o20 +1.5(-170)
926 BALTIMORE ORIOLES (R) Tillman, C -132 -132 / -125 -127 -1.5(+150)

BAL-CF-Adam Jones-? | TV: FOX, SportsTime Ohio, DTV: 662 | MOSTLY CLOUDY, 90% CHANCE SHOWER/STORMS. WIND OUT TO LEFT 7-12. GAME TEMP 69, RH 90%




7:15 PM EDT


927 SEATTLE MARINERS (L) Happ, J 7o25 7o25 / 7o20 / 7.5u20 7.5u15 +1.5(-170)
928 LOS ANGELES ANGELS (R) Richards, G -162 -149 / -145 / -143 -142 -1.5(+150)


TV: FOX, ROOT-Northwest, DTV: 687 | PARTLY CLOUDY, WIND OUT TO CENTER 5-10. GAME TEMP 78, RH 51% HEAT INDEX 79


2:10 PM EDT


929 MINNESOTA TWINS (R) Gibson, K 8u15 8o20 / 8o15 / 8 8u15 +1.5(-190)
930 MILWAUKEE BREWERS (R) Garza, M -125 -127 / -124 / -122 -125 -1.5(+160)


TV: FS-North, FS-Wisconsin, DTV: 668, 669 | MOSTLY SUNNY, WIND OUT TO RIGHT CENTER 10-15, GUSTY. GAME TEMP 71, RH 45%
 

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MLB Consensus Picks




SIDES (ATS)


Time Away Line Picks Pct Home Line Picks Pct Detail Odds


7:15 PM Chi. Cubs +147 101 27.01% St. Louis -160 273 72.99% View View


4:05 PM Colorado +124 228 27.70% San Francisco -134 595 72.30% View View


4:08 PM Chi. White Sox +138 229 28.31% Detroit -150 580 71.69% View View


7:15 PM Seattle +132 237 30.54% LA Angels -143 539 69.46% View View


7:15 PM Cleveland +115 276 35.66% Baltimore -125 498 64.34% View View


4:10 PM Boston +110 297 37.31% Tampa Bay -119 499 62.69% View View


1:07 PM Texas +146 172 37.89% Toronto -158 282 62.11% View View


4:10 PM Cincinnati +146 301 38.30% NY Mets -158 485 61.70% View View


4:05 PM Atlanta +147 328 39.09% Pittsburgh -160 511 60.91% View View


10:10 PM Arizona +121 358 47.54% San Diego -131 395 52.46% View View


4:10 PM NY Yankees -120 400 49.32% Houston +111 411 50.68% View View
4:05 PM Kansas City +130 438 51.83% Oakland -141 407 48.17% View View


2:10 PM Minnesota +115 505 59.06% Milwaukee -124 350 40.94% View View


4:10 PM LA Dodgers -230 517 64.22% Miami +210 288 35.78% View View


3:05 PM Washington -153 563 66.55% Philadelphia +141 283 33.45% View View




TOTALS (OVER/UNDER)


Time Away Total Over Pct Home Total Under Pct Detail Odds


7:15 PM Chi. Cubs 7.5 89 43.20% St. Louis 7.5 117 56.80% View View


4:05 PM Kansas City 7.5 215 46.94% Oakland 7.5 243 53.06% View View


4:05 PM Atlanta 7 230 49.04% Pittsburgh 7 239 50.96% View View


3:05 PM Washington 7.5 222 50.45% Philadelphia 7.5 218 49.55% View View


4:08 PM Chi. White Sox 9.5 229 50.66% Detroit 9.5 223 49.34% View View


1:07 PM Texas 8.5 128 51.00% Toronto 8.5 123 49.00% View View


4:10 PM Cincinnati 6.5 228 51.35% NY Mets 6.5 216 48.65% View View


7:15 PM Seattle 7 244 56.61% LA Angels 7 187 43.39% View View


4:10 PM NY Yankees 7.5 265 56.99% Houston 7.5 200 43.01% View View


4:10 PM Boston 7.5 249 57.91% Tampa Bay 7.5 181 42.09% View View


4:10 PM LA Dodgers 6.5 267 59.07% Miami 6.5 185 40.93% View View


7:15 PM Cleveland 8.5 253 59.25% Baltimore 8.5 174 40.75% View View


10:10 PM Arizona 7 289 62.55% San Diego 7 173 37.45% View View


2:10 PM Minnesota 8 343 68.60% Milwaukee 8 157 31.40% View View


4:05 PM Colorado 7.5 355 70.16% San Francisco 7.5 151 29.84% View View
 

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WNBA JUNE RECORD:




*****...............................2 - 4 - 1
DOUBLE PLAY....................10 - 11
TRIPLE PLAY......................1 - 1
SLAM DUNK.......................7 - 3




MLB RECORD FOR JUNE:




*****.............................39 - 35 - 1 .............................+ 2.92
double play......................65 - 65 - 1 ..............................- 0.45
triple play........................21 - 17 - 1 .............................+ 19.17
grand slam......................35 - 40....................................- 25.83




CFL


SINGLE PLAY.................................0 - 0
DOUBLE PLAY................................3 - 0
TRIPLE PLAY..................................1 - 0
BLOW OUT....................................0 - 0




SATURDAY, JUNE 27


Game Score Status Pick Amount


Texas - 1:07 PM ET Toronto -158 500 DOUBLE PLAY
Toronto - Under 8.5 500 DOUBLE PLAY


Minnesota - 2:10 PM ET Minnesota +125 500 GRAND SLAM
Milwaukee - Under 8 500


Washington - 3:05 PM ET Washington -153 500
Philadelphia - Over 7.5 500 TRIPLE PLAY


Kansas City - 4:05 PM ET Kansas City +134 500 TRIPLE PLAY
Oakland - Over 7.5 500


Atlanta - 4:05 PM ET Pittsburgh -160 500 GRAND SLAM
Pittsburgh - Under 7 500


Colorado - 4:05 PM ET Colorado +124 500 GRAND SLAM
San Francisco - Over 7.5 500 GRAND SLAM


Chi. White Sox - 4:08 PM ET Chi. White Sox +138 500 *****
Detroit - Over 9.5 500


Boston - 4:10 PM ET Boston +110 500 DOUBLE PLAY
Tampa Bay - Over 7.5 500


NY Yankees - 4:10 PM ET NY Yankees -118 500
Houston - Over 7.5 500 TRIPLE PLAY


Cincinnati - 4:10 PM ET NY Mets -158 500
NY Mets - Under 6.5 500 *****


LA Dodgers - 4:10 PM ET LA Dodgers -230 500 DOUBLE PLAY
Miami - Over 6.5 500 DOUBLE PLAY
 

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CFL


SATURDAY, JUNE 27




Game Score Status Pick Amount


Edmonton - 5:00 PM ET Toronto +8 500 *****


Toronto - Under 48.5 500 *****




Winnipeg - 8:00 PM ET Saskatchewan -8 500 DOUBLE PLAY


Saskatchewan - Over 48.5 500 *****
 

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CFL Consensus Picks




SIDES (ATS)


Time Away Line Picks Pct Home Line Picks Pct Detail Odds


5:00 PM Edmonton -8 502 43.31% Toronto +8 657 56.69% View View


8:00 PM Winnipeg +8 556 48.99% Saskatchewan -8 579 51.01% View View




TOTALS (OVER/UNDER)


Time Away Total Over Pct Home Total Under Pct Detail Odds


5:00 PM Edmonton 48.5 504 47.86% Toronto 48.5 549 52.14% View View


8:00 PM Winnipeg 48.5 559 54.01% Saskatchewan 48.5 476 45.99% View View
 

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WNBA Consensus Picks




SIDES (ATS)


Time Away Line Picks Pct Home Line Picks Pct Detail Odds


8:00 PM Phoenix +7 258 48.86% Minnesota -7 270 51.14% View View


8:00 PM Seattle +5 266 51.95% San Antonio -5 246 48.05% View View




TOTALS (OVER/UNDER)


Time Away Total Over Pct Home Total Under Pct Detail Odds


8:00 PM Phoenix 150 252 55.63% Minnesota 150 201 44.37% View View


8:00 PM Seattle 143 257 57.49% San Antonio 143 190 42.51% View View
 

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Diamond Trends - Saturday


June 27, 2015




SU TREND OF THE DAY:


-- The Mets are 12-0 SU since Jul 13, 2014 as a favorite after a one run win in a home game.




PITCHER TREND OF THE DAY:


-- When Kyle Gibson starts the Twins are 0-11 since June 18, 2014 after throwing more than 100 pitches in less than eight innings last start for a net profit of $1120 when playing against.


MLB BIBLE ACTIVE TREND:


-- The Twins are 0-13 (+$1,323) since 2011 following a game where they trailed by at least four runs after the first inning and score less than seven runs.


CHOICE TREND:


-- The Diamondbacks are 0-11 SU since Aug 17, 2014 on the road after a game in which they left fewer than 10 men on base individually.


ACTIVE TRENDS:


-- The Dodgers are 11-0-1 OU since Jun 15, 2014 as a favorite and vs a team that has lost at least their last four games.
 

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Divisional Odds Update


June 26, 2015


The 2015 pro baseball season is nearing the midway point of the season and at this point, it’s safe to say the contenders have separated themselves from the pretenders.


At the beginning of the season, Sportsbook.ag posted future odds for each of the six divisions.


The major offshore outfit did a great job with their numbers on the National League but that same can’t be said for the American League.


Washington, St. Louis and Los Angeles were all listed as favorites to win the East, Central and West divisions respectively in the National League.


As of late June, all three teams sit on top of their divisions with the Cardinals performing the best thus far. St. Louis was a 6/5 betting choice (Bet $100 to win $120) in April and has been adjusted to a prohibitive 1/8 favorite (Bet $100 to win $12.50) to capture the division.


In the American League, all three of the preseason divisional favorites haven’t looked sharp and Sportsbook.ag has adjusted.


Boston was a 9/5 choice to win East and now has odds at 15/1. The new additions of Hanley Ramirez and Pablo Sandoval haven’t produced and the level of production from Mike Napoli has disappeared. Also, the Red Sox’s best player in Dustin Pedroia (hamstring) was just put on the 15-day disabled list.


The Tigers and Indians were 2/1 co-favorites to win the AL Central before the season began and neither team has performed to their ability. Detroit has been better than Cleveland and is still in striking distance of the first place Kansas City Royals, who are now 2/5 favorites (Bet $100 to win $40) to win the division.


The biggest surprise in baseball has been Houston, who was a 20/1 betting choice to win the American League West. The Astros started off very hot and they haven’t cooled off after three months of action. Houston is a 6/5 betting choice to take the West, which would be its first division win since it captured the 2001 National League Central.


Listed below are the latest MLB Division Odds at Sportsbook.ag.


(Opening Odds - 4.6.15)


Odds to win National League East


Washington Nationals (1/4) 1/6
New York Mets (6/1) 7/2
Atlanta Braves (35/1) 9/1
Miami Marlins (5/1) 40/1
Philadelphia Phillies (100/1) 500/1


Odds to win National League Central


St. Louis Cardinals (6/5) 1/8
Pittsburgh Pirates (12/5) 4/1
Chicago Cubs (11/4) 7/1
Cincinnati Reds (15/1) 250/1
Milwaukee Brewers (15/1) 1000/1


Odds to win National League West


Los Angeles Dodgers (2/5) 1/3
San Francisco Giants (5/1) 2/1
San Diego Padres (7/2) 12/1
Arizona Diamondbacks (50/1) 25/1
Colorado Rockies (50/1) 150/1


Odds to win American League East


New York Yankees (9/2) 7/4
Tampa Bay Rays (6/1) 5/2
Toronto Blue Jays (5/2) 11/4
Baltimore Orioles (9/2) 7/2
Boston Red Sox (9/5) 15/1


Odds to win American League Central


Kansas City Royals (13/2) 2/5
Detroit Tigers (2/1) 29/10
Minnesota Twins (25/1) 8/1
Cleveland Indians (2/1) 9/1
Chicago White Sox (9/4) 30/1


Odds to win American League West


Houston Astros (20/1) 6/5
Los Angeles Angels (3/2) 2/1
Texas Rangers (6/1) 5/2
Seattle Mariners (8/5) 9/1
Oakland Athletics (5/1) 15/1


Odds Subject to Change - Updated 6.26.15
 

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BIRTH CONTROL FOR GRANDMA


The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for
most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new
Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had
been prescribed for her.


As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide
as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control
pills.


"Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL
Pills?"


"Yes, they help me sleep at night.
"Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in
these that could possibly help you sleep!"
She reached out and patted the young Doctor's knee...."Yes,
dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix
it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old
Granddaughter drinks, and believe me, it definitely helps me
sleep at night."
You gotta love Grandmas.




THE NICE MAN BECAME IMPATIENT


A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the
gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
The baby wouldn't take it, so she said, "Come on sweetie, eat
it all up or I'll have to give it to this nice man next to us."


Five minutes later, the baby was still not feeding, so she said,
"Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."


A few minutes later, the anxious man blurted out, "Come on
kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops
ago!




BIOLOGY EXAM:


Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their
mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven
advantages of Mother's Milk." The question was worth 70
points or none at all.


One student, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:


1) It is a perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive .
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.


And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation,
just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he
wrote:


7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high
enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.
He got an "A."




WISE ITALIAN GRANDFATHER


An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls his
grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me.
I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ...38 revolver so
you will always remember me."


"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you
leave me your Rolex watch instead?"


"You lissina me, boy! Somma day you gonna be
runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife,
lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of
bambinos. "


"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda
you wife inna bed with another man. "Whatta you gonna
do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'Times-a
up!' "?




A RIDE IN THE TAXI


A woman and her twelve-year-old son were riding in a taxi
in Detroit.
It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under
awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "What are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she
replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why
don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They
have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true
Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers, "Yes".
After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mom, if those women
have babies, what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."
 

Active member
Joined
Sep 26, 2005
Messages
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Tokens
SATURDAY, JUNE 27

Game Score Status Pick Amount


Seattle - 8:00 PM ET Seattle +5 500 DOUBLE PLAY


San Antonio - Under 143 500 DOUBLE PLAY




Phoenix - 8:00 PM ET Minnesota -6 500 SLAM DUNK


Minnesota - Over 150 500 DOUBLE PLAY
 

Active member
Joined
Sep 26, 2005
Messages
104,370
Tokens
MLB



Arizona - 10:10 PM ET San Diego -125 500 DOUBLE PLAY


San Diego - Under 6.5 500 DOUBLE PLAY
 

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