30 April -- URGENT -- BBC website goes front page with reports that Muhammed Saeed Al-Sahaf (M.S.S.) is alive in Baghdad, fears for his safety, and "seeks surrender" to US forces. G.I.s refuse to make arrest, reportedly because M.S.S does not appear among the 55 faces on the "Most Wanted" deck of playing cards.
... Our own sources tell different story. Officers and enlisted men assigned to M.S.S. now invoke international conventions (Geneva, Nuremberg, Catskills) to justify position that M.S.S. must be turned over directly to a talent agent of his own choice... In order to break deadlock, we will provide to any soldier who brings M.S.S. to safety a free "I Helped Rescue the Iraqi Information Minister and All I Got Was This Lousy" T-shirt / mug / barbecue apron.
29 April - ABC News Australia quotes Iraqi Kurdish official to say that M.S.S. is hiding at his aunt's house in Baghdad and negotiating his arrest.... al-Arabiya satellite channel has offered M.S.S. a new job as a commentator and analyst. "We want to benefit from the experience of Mr Sahaf and his analysis of the current situation and the future of Iraq." Rupert Murdoch makes quick counter-offer.
28 April - Albawaba Middle East News reports that M.S.S. is now "negotiating" his surrender through the the Iraqi National Congress... Requests include "sexy new beret".
27 April - Sunday. Nothing happens. We're going back to bed.
26 April - Widely reported that M.S.S. tried to arrange his surrender with two Portuguese journalists last week, but then failed to show up. The journalists had heard that he was hiding "in a slum area of the capital, at a former civil servant." The host told them that, "the Minister wants to surrender to the Americans, but does not know how to make it." We suggest: "Don't shoot, I surrender" as opposed to "God will roast your stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis." Just a thought.
29 April - ABC News Australia quotes Iraqi Kurdish official to say that M.S.S. is hiding at his aunt's house in Baghdad and negotiating his arrest.... al-Arabiya satellite channel has offered M.S.S. a new job as a commentator and analyst. "We want to benefit from the experience of Mr Sahaf and his analysis of the current situation and the future of Iraq." Rupert Murdoch makes quick counter-offer.
28 April - Albawaba Middle East News reports that M.S.S. is now "negotiating" his surrender through the the Iraqi National Congress... Requests include "sexy new beret".
27 April - Sunday. Nothing happens. We're going back to bed.
26 April - Widely reported that M.S.S. tried to arrange his surrender with two Portuguese journalists last week, but then failed to show up. The journalists had heard that he was hiding "in a slum area of the capital, at a former civil servant." The host told them that, "the Minister wants to surrender to the Americans, but does not know how to make it." We suggest: "Don't shoot, I surrender" as opposed to "God will roast your stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis." Just a thought.
