I: Say whatever the fuck you want.
II: You can buy a gun so you can keep the King of England out of your face.
III: We can’t force you to let soldiers crash at your place.
IV: The government needs a reason to go through your shit. A good reason.
V: If you break the law, you don’t have to admit it.
VI: You always get to talk to your lawyer first.
VII: You can let 12 randoms decide your fate instead of a judge.
VIII: The government can’t do Jack Bauer shit to you.
IX: You have rights we don’t talk about here. Like, if you get your girlfriend pregnant, you can take her to Planned Parenthood.
X: The states have rights too. We’re gonna ignore them, though.
XI: States don’t have to pay their debts. Good luck if one owes you money.
XII: So, we fucked up the 1800 election, but they’re gonna run smoothly from here on out, we promise.
XIII: If you do work, they gotta pay you.
XIV: Everyone is equal under the law. Good luck if you live in the South though.
XV: Black people can vote. But white people can still try hard to prevent them from from doing so.
XVI: Sorry, gotta pay taxes
XVII: State legislatures can’t elect senators. Nobody pays attention to state assembly races.
XVIII: You can’t drink.
XIX: Women can vote. They’re smarter than us, anyway.
XX: If the president dies, somebody who got elected should probably replace him.
XXI: Fine, you can drink.
XXII: The president can only serve two terms. Otherwise we’d be England, and we still think they suck.
XXIII: If you live in Washington, DC, you get to vote for president. Only the Democratic candidate, though.
XXIV: Now it’s a little harder to prevent black people from voting.
XXV: If the president dies, the new president can appoint a VP. Otherwise the Speaker of the House would take over, and he’s usually an idiot.
XXVI: College kids can vote for president. They actually care about that shit.
XXVII: It’s harder for Congress to give itself a pay raise. They’ll still do it, though.
II: You can buy a gun so you can keep the King of England out of your face.
III: We can’t force you to let soldiers crash at your place.
IV: The government needs a reason to go through your shit. A good reason.
V: If you break the law, you don’t have to admit it.
VI: You always get to talk to your lawyer first.
VII: You can let 12 randoms decide your fate instead of a judge.
VIII: The government can’t do Jack Bauer shit to you.
IX: You have rights we don’t talk about here. Like, if you get your girlfriend pregnant, you can take her to Planned Parenthood.
X: The states have rights too. We’re gonna ignore them, though.
XI: States don’t have to pay their debts. Good luck if one owes you money.
XII: So, we fucked up the 1800 election, but they’re gonna run smoothly from here on out, we promise.
XIII: If you do work, they gotta pay you.
XIV: Everyone is equal under the law. Good luck if you live in the South though.
XV: Black people can vote. But white people can still try hard to prevent them from from doing so.
XVI: Sorry, gotta pay taxes
XVII: State legislatures can’t elect senators. Nobody pays attention to state assembly races.
XVIII: You can’t drink.
XIX: Women can vote. They’re smarter than us, anyway.
XX: If the president dies, somebody who got elected should probably replace him.
XXI: Fine, you can drink.
XXII: The president can only serve two terms. Otherwise we’d be England, and we still think they suck.
XXIII: If you live in Washington, DC, you get to vote for president. Only the Democratic candidate, though.
XXIV: Now it’s a little harder to prevent black people from voting.
XXV: If the president dies, the new president can appoint a VP. Otherwise the Speaker of the House would take over, and he’s usually an idiot.
XXVI: College kids can vote for president. They actually care about that shit.
XXVII: It’s harder for Congress to give itself a pay raise. They’ll still do it, though.