What's the one thing you would say to your significant other if you knew you could get away with it?

[drunkguy]

Here's mine:

"Honey, you tell the longest, most boring, pointless stories I have ever heard in my life. Please make them more interesting, or don't bother me with them when I'm watching sports. I don't need to hear about your cats, your Christmas cards, or the time you won $100 on scratch-off lotto tickets."

 

[lander]

"The travel channel IS NOT my idea of compromise ... the RockyI-V box set is as far as I'm budging"

 

[PatrickMcIrish]

One thing that has helped us is better communication. For instance when she starts to bring up something I ask her up front, is this something you are seeking a solution on or just wanting to vent frustrations and have a sympathetic ear? Amazing how good it works. Now she just sort of laughs and says what it is before she starts. If it serious she tells me so and I put my problem solver hat on and listen intently. If it's just a case where she wants to vent without me needing to do anything a few well placed nods will usually do the trick.....

 

[drunkguy]

Good policy Irish.

Knowing how to distinguish the real deal from the emotional bullshit is one thing most guys haven't mastered.

 

[assassin]

Honey you still can't give a decent blowjob. Why don't we have your friend J***** come over and show you how its done. She used to suck my dick all the time before I met you. Hoestly hon, she gives the best head I've ever had.

 

[1cheater]

Your cooking sux.....


Your a CUNT....


Ever hear of Hall way sex?

It's when you've been married for 25 years (I haven't, was told this by my school instructor) you've had sex in every room in the house, the basement, the laundry room, the bathtub, maybe even the back yard, but after 25 years of this you have hall way sex, you pass your mate in the hallway and say, "Fawk you"...


Seriously though, I have been married for 4 years and my wife and i say and do what ever we want to eachother, we never hold back.. If her food dux, I tell her.. I'm a chef, so I let her have it pretty bad, but when it's good, like her spaghetti sauce with saucage, she always get's praise...

 

[JoeyC]

You need some help? Well, call the maid, and don't bother me.

 

[rickyroma]

" did you know that, as a product of Satan, you are the Devil.....But wait.. that isn't always a bad thing"

 

[Phaedrus]

Guess I should get it off my chest:

"I want a divorce. I haven't been happy in this relationship since even before I proposed to you. You came into my life at a very complicated time for me, and I do love you, but our respective long-term needs and desires are so vastly different from one another that I feel that an eventual split is inevitable. Maybe it would be best if we quit now, before we have kids and while we can still stand each other. For Christ's sake, I'm 31 and on my fourth wife; you're 24 and on your second husband -- and I think that a subconscious fear in each of us to 'throw another one on the fire' is a large factor in keeping us together. I just think it would be the realistic thing to do to call it off now."

Or something to that effect.

Phaedrus

 

[RPM]

why do you have 3 sixes tatooed on your head?

 

[FatFrank]

Honey, you know I love you but _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (fill in the blank) cuz whatever goes there gets me in trouble.

 

[max1234]

Bottom line is you can't get away with it. They have a memory that puts a Cray computer to shame. Even when they say "Really, tell me the truth, we need to be honest with each other" you can't win.

But IF I could have gotten away with it, it would be something like " No , dear, I don't want to make love to you tonite. And I don't want to hear about your mother. And I don't want to hear about your day. If fact, why don't you roll over and go to sleep before I blow my f*cking brains out because you're boring the shit out of me and have for the last 5 years. Good nite, dear."