let me start off by saying that I live in a upper middle class neighborhood...really never any drama to speak of.. ok....so it's about 12:30 am last night and I hear our new puppy is up and playing around so I get up to take her out....my wife stops me and says she has it covered....about 15 min or so later she wakes me back up...she tells me that she hears a couple, who is walking down our street , arguing....she tells me that it sounds sort of violent and she is worried about the girl....so I get up...get dressed...maybe 10 more min passes....she points me in the direction they were headed and I start off....I'm in shorts (its fucking pretty cold out) no shirt.. sneakers and a zip up hoodie..
.I'm walking at a fairly brisk pace so it only takes me a few minutes to catch up to them....I can see them up ahead of me in the next street light...it's obvious from jump that they are fighting...I close the distance to about 20 feet only to see him grabbing her by the ponytail and grumbling something thru his teeth..
now....I've been known to get involved in situations in probably shouldn't...sometimes with good endings abs sometimes with bad....my little voice is telling me to just go home but the other 75% is super pissed to even be up...I give him the old.."whoa whoa...man..relax "...as he turns into can see that he has what I think was a golf club handle...no head..in his free hand...and of course her ponytail in the other....this next part happened very quickly and I was tired so I really didn't have time to think about what I was doing...he's yelling at me...something to the effect of minding my own business and I basically tell him it's too late for that...he lets her go and two hands me across my left side with whatever he's holding....I pop him...no shit..one punch...right on the "off button "...night night weird smelly dude....I mean...if you held a skeleton up in front of you and let it go...that's how he dropped....landed really weird on his legs to....almost sitting up....I bend down and say something like " you ok man?"....and as I'm turning to her to assess how she is i see her on a dead run at me with something in her hand....never did see what it was....I fucking lamped her and its night night weird smelly guys toothless girlfriend.....WTF.....2 weird homeless looking people KTFO on the sidewalk ...I'm freaking out..they are both breathing and he seems like he's coming to a little bit...I shag ass out of there and pretend I'm jogging and take the really long way home.....I told my wife i wasn't able to find them and I slept downstairs....wasn't sure if they knew where I came from....thought not...but just to be safe I chilled on the living room couch......think it's the end.......nope....
Fast forward to this morning......I'm down in the city working ....at break time I tell my crew I'm heading down to the local mom and pop store to grab a coffee....mind you im a good 40 miles from my house...I leave the store and head the 3 blocks or so back to the job...
Im maybe half way back and I notice a little commotion up ahead of me..another store owner is having words with the same 2 vagabonds I laid out last night..hand to the heavens....smelly looks up..immediately recognized me a starts getting nuts...I wrestle him to the ground and put my knee in his throat...she's fucking attacking my back he's struggling....and after about a min. I feel something choking me from behind...someone called the cops...maybe the store owner they were originally arguing with....cop has his billy club around my neck and another cop shoots me in the face with a squirt of some serious pepper spray....I'm down...dude I'm choking is unconscious...again....girl is flipping out...and I'm fucking cracking up...I mean literally laughing....this is so fucking surreal....store owner greys my back...says guy just came up and attacked me and I was defending myself....cop is apologizing...and paramedics ate tending to my eyes....all the while the couple is telling the cops about our little foray last night...they sound absolutely crazy so it takes little effort to convince the cops that I have no idea what they are talking about...trouble always seems to find me but this was nuts....my eyes are still red and I'll be sleeping with one eye open for at least the next few nights......weird..even for me
.I'm walking at a fairly brisk pace so it only takes me a few minutes to catch up to them....I can see them up ahead of me in the next street light...it's obvious from jump that they are fighting...I close the distance to about 20 feet only to see him grabbing her by the ponytail and grumbling something thru his teeth..
now....I've been known to get involved in situations in probably shouldn't...sometimes with good endings abs sometimes with bad....my little voice is telling me to just go home but the other 75% is super pissed to even be up...I give him the old.."whoa whoa...man..relax "...as he turns into can see that he has what I think was a golf club handle...no head..in his free hand...and of course her ponytail in the other....this next part happened very quickly and I was tired so I really didn't have time to think about what I was doing...he's yelling at me...something to the effect of minding my own business and I basically tell him it's too late for that...he lets her go and two hands me across my left side with whatever he's holding....I pop him...no shit..one punch...right on the "off button "...night night weird smelly dude....I mean...if you held a skeleton up in front of you and let it go...that's how he dropped....landed really weird on his legs to....almost sitting up....I bend down and say something like " you ok man?"....and as I'm turning to her to assess how she is i see her on a dead run at me with something in her hand....never did see what it was....I fucking lamped her and its night night weird smelly guys toothless girlfriend.....WTF.....2 weird homeless looking people KTFO on the sidewalk ...I'm freaking out..they are both breathing and he seems like he's coming to a little bit...I shag ass out of there and pretend I'm jogging and take the really long way home.....I told my wife i wasn't able to find them and I slept downstairs....wasn't sure if they knew where I came from....thought not...but just to be safe I chilled on the living room couch......think it's the end.......nope....
Fast forward to this morning......I'm down in the city working ....at break time I tell my crew I'm heading down to the local mom and pop store to grab a coffee....mind you im a good 40 miles from my house...I leave the store and head the 3 blocks or so back to the job...
Im maybe half way back and I notice a little commotion up ahead of me..another store owner is having words with the same 2 vagabonds I laid out last night..hand to the heavens....smelly looks up..immediately recognized me a starts getting nuts...I wrestle him to the ground and put my knee in his throat...she's fucking attacking my back he's struggling....and after about a min. I feel something choking me from behind...someone called the cops...maybe the store owner they were originally arguing with....cop has his billy club around my neck and another cop shoots me in the face with a squirt of some serious pepper spray....I'm down...dude I'm choking is unconscious...again....girl is flipping out...and I'm fucking cracking up...I mean literally laughing....this is so fucking surreal....store owner greys my back...says guy just came up and attacked me and I was defending myself....cop is apologizing...and paramedics ate tending to my eyes....all the while the couple is telling the cops about our little foray last night...they sound absolutely crazy so it takes little effort to convince the cops that I have no idea what they are talking about...trouble always seems to find me but this was nuts....my eyes are still red and I'll be sleeping with one eye open for at least the next few nights......weird..even for me
the most fucked up thing...I hit her 300x harder then I hit him...she got it right on the temple coming straight at me..almost broke my hand on her head....got him on the chin...not hard at all...really surprised he went down that easy....she got the full adrenaline punch tho...so fucked up
I don't think she had I knife...she def had something in her hand...if I think about it ....it may have been her phone...or something that shaped....after she went down I just wanted out of there...as for me...my knuckles are a little swollen and my eyes are still fucked up...looks like I got into some dank kush lol
