US Border

[TomKing]

I vote US Border as the biggest oxymoron of the year.

 

[xpanda]

Protectionism is one of the variables of socialism.

Thought you might find that interesting.

 

[WildBill]

OK, Minutemen, now guard Iraq border

Joe Muench
El Paso Times

Now it's time for the Minutemen to take on a second all-American endeavor.

Secure the Iraq-Syria border for us.

When our Border Patrol in Arizona lacked the manpower to stop large numbers of undocmented immigrants coming from Mexico (some flute and fife music, please), on came the volunteers named Minutemen. No undocumented immigrant shall pick an artichoke in this here country. Well, they turned back a few, anyway.

Now the U.S. military is so busy defending itself it has no time to stop terrorists from crossing into Iraq and raising havoc with our (oil) plans for democracy (oil) over there.

So how about the Minutemen lining up along the 605 kilometers of the Iraq-Syria border? Stop all those who want to cross over and fight us and our new friends in a democratic (oil) Iraq.

Because they are civilians, the Minutemen were not allowed to arrest undocumented immigrants in Arizona last month. They could just rat them out to the Border Patrol.

That would have to be the case in Iraq, too. The Minutemen aren't the U.S. Army. Some aren't even Idaho militiamen.

So, whenever someone with a rocket launcher under his coat tries to cross from Syria to Iraq, the Minutemen will have to phone the nearest tank convoy.

"The man says he's a U.S. citizen, but he's got this rocket launcher under his coat, Lieutenant."

"Why do you say he's one of us, my Minuteman friend?"

"Well, he's got a current U.S. passport, a New York driver's license and papers saying he can pilot crop dusters, Pipers and 727s. And he's got a license to carry a concealed weapon, Lieutenant."

The only problem I see is mustering enough Minuteman interest for the Iraq job now that the month in the Arizona desert has ended. I can hear it now: "Not another desert ..."

The southern Arizona desert isn't that big. End to end it's maybe two Stuckey's stops. And it took only a few hundred Minutemen to curb the undocumented immigrants. But over there in the Mideast, now that's a desert. Virtually all of Iraq is arid now that there's no Mesopotamia anymore. Talk about messing up your ecology over the years. They probably watered on both odd and even days.

Now Iraq's 3,700 kilometers of border all touch some other country's barren outskirts. There's Syria, Iran, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Jordan. Not a whole lot of international bridges over rivers there. You're lucky if you come upon just one al-Stuckey's per journey.

Blinking sign: "Fill camels and vehicles here. Best eggplant wrapped meat this side of Damascus. Next al-Stuckey's 500 kilometers at 'al-The Thing.' "

If the Minutemen can just clog up terrorist traffic from the Syria section, it will be a great help.

A lot of terrorists in Iran, for example, can't be bothered coming over anymore. They have good jobs building nuclear weapons.

Jordan has one of us, Her Majesty Queen Noor. She attended more U.S. schools than some college basketball players.

Kuwait is our pal. Better be. Without us it would have been covered by Saddam palaces.

The Saudi prince just spent time smoozing and smorsing around the Crawford Ranch campfire.

And Turkey? It's a long way from there to Baghdad. The western part of Turkey isn't even in the Middle East, it's in Eastern Europe. Different culture. "Want extra paprika on that Stuckey's pecan log?

So how about it, Minutemen, one more time?

 

[WildBill]

If you really think the border isn't stopping anyone, you weren't in San Diego this weekend. On Monday the radio reports said 500 cars per lane over 23 lanes were waiting to cross at the San Ysidro crossing. At 3pm the reports said 1,800 pedestrians were waiting to cross as well, which equates to probably about a 3-4 hour wait. The border may not be stopping some from coming, but the paranoia over people coming into the country is halting legitimate dollars and traffic from flowing across orderly.

 

[DarrylParsons]

I got harassed recently entering the US at Philadelphia airport because my Canadian passport wasn't machine readable. They sent me to secondary inspections, made me wait about 20 min. while the various officers took their sweet time, loudly and obnoxiously talking about non-work-related stuff while tired Europeans waited to hear what O mighty all-powerful America decides to do with them. I really wanted to say to these guys something like: Do you realize you are all a bunch of drones who have it clearly written in their job descriptions that original thinking is strictly forbidden? How do y'all feel about that?

But of course I just kept quiet and waited my turn when the boss said to one of the drones: wtf is a Canadian doing here? clerk: his passport isn't machine readable Boss: So what? That rule is for visa waiver countries, not Canada. Then they let me go.

Times like that I wish I were Mexican.

 

[Woody0]

Machine readable is the least of it. Entered N. America through Dallas on my return from Europe and waited patiently in the Foreign Nationals line while all the Europeans got scanned, left finger, right finger, right eye. Canadians as non-visa waiver visitors don't need to be scanned yet, but word is that it's coming next year. Officer checked our machine readable passports and said "Welcome to Southern Canada".

Now I understand border security is going to extend to the air. The US has plans to demand passenger lists for flights entering US airspace. If you check the map of N. America you will see that the shortest cross Canada routes routinely involve entering US airspace. Canadians are aghast at the thought that the US will control who can fly on Canadian domestic routes, particularly since we always have persona non grata up here. Furthermore if they can kidnap Canadians in transit they could easily force down domestic flights within US airspace for kidnapping purposes, scary.

 

[uscmike]

pinche migra!!!

 

[TomKing]

pinche migra!!!

Is that USC for Fight On?