I can not stop laughing. Sting, if you made this up, it is good. Russians, if you really did this, it is good....
“The Exclusive Sports 911 Interview” with Dave Sanchez, President & CEO Hail Mary Sportsbook
Sports911.com would like to welcome Hail Mary Sportsbook to the 911 family of fine wagering firms. Hail Mary's management has over 200 years experience between them. In business for 15 years, we are thrilled to have them as a sponsor.
Sports911: Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet with us. Lets begin with your background. How did you get into this business?
Dave Sanchez: It’s my pleasure to be talking with Sports 911. I got into the business, and started Hail Mary Sportsbook this year after a great trip to Costa Rica back in 2002. I was there doing some extreme excursions into the jungle you know how that is…
Anyway, I happened to be going to the bathroom in a bar in San Jose - can I say that? – I overheard what were obviously some sportsbook owners talking about how great the business was. BoDog.com’s Cole Turner was one of them. He consistently contends that he never saw me, but I know he did – he looked me in the eye! Besides I was only two urinals away and when you are that close to Dave Sanchez, trust me, you’ll remember, okay. I think he must be worried, that is why he is in denial. And I’m not talking about that river in Egypt.
I’m an entrepreneur, and I saw an industry I could compete in. I’ve seen it all and I’ve done it all. I really didn’t like the cut of Turner’s jib if you catch my drift, and knew enough of the industry – I’ve been known to drop a few dimes on sports before – to say, this is my calling. So I started to do some research.
Sports 911: What kind of research are we talking about?
Sanchez: I don’t want to tell you all my secrets, but look; you can learn a lot about sportsbook operations from seducing the odd sportsbook clerk, essay. I figured it was killing two birds with one stone. I also went into the jungle and meditated for about three months. I worked on my martial arts, and read some books. Of course I checked into Sports 911 with my laptop, and did a heck of a lot of thinking about the Internet and creating the best sportsbook and casino in the known universe.
Sports 911: We have to ask, what is on your bookshelf right now?
Sanchez: That’s a question I get asked a lot. I’ll tell you of course, but let me digress for a moment, okay. Ever since I ran into Cole Turner I’ve been trying to figure a way I could build a new sports book, unlike any other, to beat Turner at his own game. One book, I read constantly – sort of like my bible – is Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.” It’s, like, the classic. I live by some simple rules, and like master Tzu says, “It is the rule in war, if our forces are ten to the enemy's one, to surround him; if five to one, to attack him; if twice as numerous, to divide our army into two.” Clearly I’m the little guy right, so I have to be pretty crafty if I want a piece of the sportsbook pie, which I do. I like pie.
Sports 911: Fascinating stuff, anything else our readers should read?
Sanchez: Of course. I recommend that everyone read Trump’s classic, “The Art of the Deal”. It is an amazing treatise on business and I wish I could spend a few hours with the man. I’ve actually applied to be on the next Apprentice Show. Obviously I could own that shit. You hear me Trump? I also think that keeping one’s body in shape is as important as keeping one’s mind sharp. I’ve been studying various martial arts for over 20 years now, and lately I’ve really been into this “Bushido” thing. It’s like the way of the warrior. I’ve got a huge sword collection, and I’m not bragging, but I’m damn good with a sword, so don’t piss me off essay.
Sports 911: Since were talking about martial arts, what do you think of BoDog.com’s Cole Turner’s adventurous and martial arts prowess?
Sanchez: I will answer this because I like you, but quite frankly Turner is an amateur and claims he doesn’t know who I am. The jungles of Cambodia? That’s child’s play holmes! I remember pulling shit like that when I was in high school, okay. Let me tell you about some real action. Last month I’m in Bangkok, right. I went to this very exclusive underground poker game, you know, I’m talking secret passages and password – that kind of deep underground shit. So I’m playing poker with some real bad dudes – a couple Yakuza and some Chinese Intelligence Special Forces types. I’m cleaning up, big time right. And this one Yakuza dude accuses me of cheating. I’m offended and I get up throwing the table and all the chips on the table. It was getting messy and those Chinese dudes pull out some guns. It’s like a real serious Mexican Standoff. I don’t got shit, but my fists and a desire to kick some serious ass – you know what I’m talking about right. I say to them that they better drop those guns before I hand them their Asses. To make a long story short, I walked out that game up about 100 grand and with these two dead sexy twin Thai girls on my arm. Swear to god, true story.
Sports 911: Let’s talk business for a minute. Give us an update on the Hail Mary operation.
Sanchez: I thought you’d never ask. Look, we’ve got everything cooking with gas and I think the results speak for themselves. Hail Mary is well on its way to being the greatest sportsbook in the universe. We’re a unique operation. What I’m saying is that this isn’t just another cookie cutter sportsbook.
It’s tough though. Starting a new sportsbook isn’t as easy as it looks buddy. But I’ve hired a great staff, we have the best equipment, and our website looks incredible doesn’t it? We are looking to appeal to the biggest bettors around and give them a home. They’ll be able to bet the really big wagers with no juice. Because as far as I’m concerned juice is for drinking at breakfast after a long night of partying with beautiful ladies and sipping on Crystal. Juice isn’t needed at Hail Mary, since my book managers – meaning myself – are so damned good. We want to give players a break since for the most part, they are largely wrong. Sad but true. Not that I’m complaining it’s a good thing for old D’s wallet, huh.
Sports 911: Since we’re a watchdog website, we have to ask some tough questions. Are you ready?
Sanchez: Bring it on!
Sports 911: Hail Mary Boasts of a massive 20% Percent Bonus. But upon reading the fine print it turns out the bonus is only 2.0 per cent! Is that a marketing ploy?
Sanchez: What’s wrong with a 2 per cent bonus? Are you a communist are something? Who gives away these big Bonuses you speak of?
Sports 911: Well technically Mr. Sanchez, many sportsbooks offer very competitive bonuses for their players.
Sanchez: I see you couldn’t name one of them. Look, we have the best bonus system in the industry, and I don’t know why you are digging up this senseless dirt about our bonus system. It clearly states 2.0 not 20! Is that a marketing ploy? Come on, do you really think we could get away with that? Wait until you see our Football season bonuses. They are going to blow your mind, essay. Have you talked to some of our players? They think our sportsbook is pretty good. What is this interview supposed to be anyway? 60 freaking Minutes?
Sports 911: Talk to us about your payouts supervisor Pearl Winnebago…
Sanchez: Ah…Pearl, my sweet porcelain skinned muse. I hired Pearl on the spot. Frankly I didn’t even look at her resume and truthfully she didn’t know the difference between spreads or teasers. When I first starting talking about “rollover” she kept on getting on all fours like a dog. Actually she still does that! I liked that - it is very sexy. But seriously, I trust Pearl implicitly and when I’m running around the world practicing martial arts or whatever, she is in charge. Without her, there would be no Hail Mary. She’s one hot tamale, no?
Sports 911: Yes, she is very attractive and when we called for the interview, she sounded lovely on the phone too. How did you find her?
Sanchez: I was doing some late night research, surfing on the net, and I found her working on an adult web site. She was doing some freelance work at a website which specialized in recreating night vision adult scenes. When I talked to her she said it was kind of a creepy since everyone kept calling her Paris - which is strange since she doesn’t even speak French. Long story short I hired her because she smelled really good and drank me under the table the first night we met the rest is history as they say. Besides she has such wonderful “assets.”
Sports 911: Okay, but what about the payouts? We’ve heard some rumors that they aren’t as fast as some of the other sportsbooks?
Sanchez: These are all lies. Look this isn’t as simple as you think, and Pearl works as fast as she can. But do you honestly expect her to work 24-7? She’s only one woman - and a woman who needs to stop and smell the roses. She gets the payouts out in her own time, and her personal customer service is unquestioned. I’ll let you in on a little secret, unlike certain other “sportsbook girls”; like that Suzy Jackson at BoDog.com, Pearl will do whatever it takes to make our customers happy. And when I say that, I mean anything! Pearl loves to spend her down time hanging out with Hail Mary players - and has been known to offer her own special personalized bonus. (Sports 911: At this time Sanchez flashes a knowing smile and winks, whatever that means…) That’s a personal touch that puts the "very" into VIP! And that’s why our players love her. In fact none of our players really complain about payouts.
Sports 911: What about the complaints that Hail Mary isn’t exactly the most user-friendly sportsbook?
Sanchez: Have you been talking to Cory Gibson? What a jackass. He played with us for like two weeks and was such a whining little baby. He kept saying, my old sportsbook has instant online checks, or how come we don’t get unlimited free payouts or I was on hold for an hour and a half? I think he must have thought we were offering some sort of government hand out, or a soup kitchen. It’s outrageous. Many of our players are very happy, maybe you should have talked to one of them?
Sports 911: Lets move on, Mr. Sanchez. Where do you see Hail Mary, in say a year from now, or even 5 years from now?
Sanchez: Already we’re shaking up the industry. I think if you ask most sportsbook’s who is coming up fast in their rear view mirrors, they would say Hail Mary! I predict that in the next year, we will continue to gain market share and win people over with the world of Hail Mary – that means great bonuses, customer service, and sports action that you won’t find every day. We wont quit until we are on the top of the heap – that may be one year, or five years, or twenty-five years. It don’t matter.
Sports 911: Have you ever seen the TV show, “Inside the Actors Studio”? They end each program with a series of questions originally asked by Bernard Pivot. I thought we’d ask you a selection of them.
Sports 911: What turns you on?
Sanchez: Looking at myself in my office mirror, especially after a nice sweaty work out.
Sports 911: What turns you off?
Sanchez:: Egotistical people.
Sports 911: What’s your favorite word?
Sanchez: Pearl necklaces…decadence.
Sports 911: Least favorite word?
Sanchez: BoDog
Sports 911: What’s your favorite curse word?
Sanchez: Do I have to pick just one? Wait, never mind, mine is obviously, ass hat. Although I am very proficient in all the 4-letter classics, just ask some of our players!
Sports 911: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Sanchez: Welcome to heaven Dave, make yourself at home; there’s liquor in the front and poker in the rear! (Laughing)
Sports 911: Thank you very much for spending some time with Sports 911 it was a pleasure.
Sanchez: Anytime, you’re okay my friend. Now you know where to go for the real deal information essay, Hail Mary and Dave Sanchez, so don’t you forget it. Peace out.
You can learn more about Hail Mary Sportsbook and owner Dave Sanchez at
www.hailmarysportsbook.com.
Originally published on February 16, 2004 (8:10 pm EST)
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