Lesbians

[bblight]

An old cowboy dressed to kill with cowboy shirt, hat, jeans, spurs and chaps went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him.

After she ordered her drink she turned to the cowboy and asked him, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"Well, I have spent my whole life on the ranch herding cows, breaking horses, mending fences... I guess I am," replied the cowboy.

After a short while he asked her what she was.

"I've never been on a ranch so I'm not a cowboy, but I am a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning I think of women, when I eat, shower, watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women," said the young woman.

A short while later she left and the cowboy ordered another drink.

A couple sat down next to him and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

"I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

 

[bblight]

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, "I want to open a damn checking account."

To which the astonished woman replies, I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up, damn it. I said I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

So saying, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her situation.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer, "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no friggin’ problem, dammit!" the man says; "I just won $50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager, "and this bitch is giving you a hard time?

 

[steaktartar]

haha

 

[bblight]

A blind guy walks into a barroom and finds a stool at the bar.

"Hey, want to hear a really great blond joke?" He says when the bartender brings him his drink.

The place goes quiet, then the guy sitting on his left leans over and says in a low voice: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb blond with a black belt in karate. The guy sitting on your right is 6'2," weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to his right is 6'5" and pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. We're all blonds. Think about it, Pal. You really wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks for a minute, then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

 

[roadreeler57]

A blind guy walks into a barroom and finds a stool at the bar.

"Hey, want to hear a really great blond joke?" He says when the bartender brings him his drink.

The place goes quiet, then the guy sitting on his left leans over and says in a low voice: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blond, the bouncer is blond and I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb blond with a black belt in karate. The guy sitting on your right is 6'2," weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to his right is 6'5" and pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. We're all blonds. Think about it, Pal. You really wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks for a minute, then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

:lolBIG:

 

[steaktartar]

Divorce vs. Murder



A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the

pharmacy, walked up

to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes

and said, 'I

would

like to buy some cyanide.'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do

you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my

husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he

exclaimed, 'Lord have

mercy! I

can't give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That's against

the law!

I'll lose my license! They'll throw both

of us in jail! All

kinds of

bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You

CANNOT have any

cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a

picture of

her husband in bed with the pharmacist's

wife. The

pharmacist looked at the picture and replied,

'Well

now, that's different. You didn't tell me

you had a

prescription.