>
>The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
>2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
>front of her kids.
>
>3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
>4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
>night.
>
>5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
>
>6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
>7. Someone in your family died right after saying: "Hey watch this."
>
>8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
>9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
>10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
>
>11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen,
>start your engines."
>
>
>12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
>its wheels.
>
>13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how
>much gas is in it.
>
>14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
>15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
>16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
>House of Tattoos.
>
>17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
>against it.
>
>18. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
>
>19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
>
>20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
>The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
>
>2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in
>front of her kids.
>
>3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
>
>4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
>night.
>
>5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
>
>6. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
>
>7. Someone in your family died right after saying: "Hey watch this."
>
>8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
>
>9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
>
>10. Your junior prom had a daycare.
>
>11. You think the last words of the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen,
>start your engines."
>
>
>12. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off
>its wheels.
>
>13. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how
>much gas is in it.
>
>14. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
>
>15. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
>
>16. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
>House of Tattoos.
>
>17. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
>against it.
>
>18. You think "loaded dishwasher" means your wife is drunk.
>
>19. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
>
>20. Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs.
