Football joke

[TIGER]

This guy Joe goes to the Super Bowl. His seat is in the nosebleed section but that's OK - he's at the Super Bowl.
So he starts looking around the stadium with his binoculars and sees a guy about 5 rows off the field on the 50-yard line with an empty seat beside him.

This is driving Joe nuts, so finally at half time, he goes down and asks the guy why he has a vacant seat in such a choice location.

The guy says, "My wife and I bought these seats a long time ago. But unfortunately, she passed away."

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that", Joe says, "but why didn't you give the ticket to another relative or a friend?"

The guy replies: "They're all at the funeral."

 

[BeverlyHillsBookie]

LMFAO!!!!

. A true fan!!!

 

[Rattler+]

Love it!

Funny thing is, a buddy of mine did something similar. The evening of his Grandmothers funeral, he had tickets to a Leaf game (just a regular season game). Debated with himself to sell/give the tiks away all day at work. I went to the funeral, and he wasn't there. I asked him "WTF? Where you were you?" His response was "She was in her 90's. She watched a game with me on TV last week, I thought this would be the best way to remember her". True story!

 

[BoratSagdiyev]

That was good one Mr Tiger. I have one joke for you too.

A penguin was driving through Arizona on a hot, summer Sunday when he noticed his oil light was on. He got out of the car and, sure enough, it was leaking oil all over the road.
The penguin drove around the corner to a service station and asked the mechanic to take a look at it. The mechanic said he had a few others to look at first but if he came back in an hour he could tell the penguin what was wrong with his car. The penguin agreed and went for a walk.

He found an ice-cream shop and thought a big bowl of vanilla ice cream would really hit the spot, since he was a penguin and it was Arizona in the summer, after all. He sat down at the counter and started in on his ice cream. Of course he had no hands so it was rather messy. By the time he was done he had ice cream all over his flippers, and his mouth was a total mess.

He walked back to the service station and said to the mechanic, "Did you find out what is wrong with my car?"

The mechanic replied, "It looks like you've blown a seal."

"No no," said the penguin. "It's just ice cream."

I like you Mr. Tiger, do you like me?

 

[Schouest]

NIIICE

 

[Schouest]

Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."