Blue, need your advice

lander · Apr 20, 2006

The wife duped me into joining Catholic softball league. Mind you, I go to church as often as Mikey Moore skips a meal.

Please advise which of the following are permittable in Catholic softball.

1. Pointing to the sky and thanking God every time I hit the ball.
2. Joking with the 3rd base coach that I can't tell if he's giving signs or pretending there's an alterboy in front of him.
3. Brushing the nuns off the plate.
4. Wearing guady "bling" to distract the batters.
5. Same as no 4, but what if "bling" is cross necklace.
6. Asking for a timeout to confess after stealing 2nd.
7. Going Joey Albert Belle v Vina on the way to 2nd.
8. Spraying the team with my water bottle and saying "bless you, bless you"

Thanks in advance. Looking forward to going Barry on them.

blueedwards · Apr 20, 2006

not catholic lander...afraid i cant help you there.

blueedwards · Apr 20, 2006

landy, just curious...when you say you look forward to "going barry" on them, do you mean you will:

a) inject steroids meant for cattle into your ass
b) choke a teammate
c) blame the media for your problems
d) bring race into every discussion you have about anything
e) all of the above

lander · Apr 20, 2006

I was referring to my ability to shatter the adult catholic softball league HR record.

blueedwards · Apr 21, 2006

lander said:
I was referring to my ability to shatter the adult catholic softball league HR record.

oh...well, good luck then. just a piece of advice, whatever you do...dont lie to a grand jury.

dmmd98 · Apr 21, 2006

The wife duped me into joining Catholic softball league. Mind you, I go to church as often as Mikey Moore skips a meal.

Please advise which of the following are permittable in Catholic softball.

1. Pointing to the sky and thanking God every time I hit the ball.

That is fine if someone can thank god during an oscar speech you can do
your best Big Papi impression.

2. Joking with the 3rd base coach that I can't tell if he's giving signs or pretending there's an alterboy in front of him.

That will get you the evil eye.

3. Brushing the nuns off the plate.

Nuns are all old tough battleax's they will understand its part of the game.

4. Wearing guady "bling" to distract the batters.

Im sure if grills were around during the time of the bible Jesus would be fronting them. So bling is alright.

5. Same as no 4, but what if "bling" is cross necklace.

That is fine but when you do go to chruch I believe they going to expect you to atleast put a $20 when they past around the dish.

6. Asking for a timeout to confess after stealing 2nd.

Just say one hail Mary that is what I got when I admited to stealing hockey cards back in 1987

7. Going Joey Albert Belle v Vina on the way to 2nd.

Ill get back to you on that one.

8. Spraying the team with my water bottle and saying "bless you, bless you"

They would be more impressed if that water turned into wine.