On the day America celebrated her Independence, basking in such "certain unalienable Rights" as "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness," a married couple was handcuffed and led away by police from a gathering in Charleston, South Carolina.
Their crime: wearing T-shirts at a public event. Inscribed on the T-shirts was a message that declared their love for America and their loathing for its unelected leader. I, personally, believe these two messages go hand in hand, but then I don't live in the former Confederate stronghold of Charleston. So I guess it doesn't concern me.
I live closer to bastions of Happiness-pursuing like Albany, N.Y., where last year a man was arrested for trespassing in a shopping mall because he sported an anti-Bush T-shirt. I live closer to such Laps of Liberty as Cooperstown, where Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins were banned last year because they don't love George W. Bush as much as they love America.
I live in Connecticut, the state where Whoopi Goldberg makes her home. Last week, Whoopi was verbally whoopin' George W. Bush's ass at a private gathering in New York. A few days later, Whoopi was told by a corporate sponsor (Slim-Fast) that she was being relieved of her contract as their spokesperson. Her crime: loving the First Amendment more than she loves George W. Bush. Maybe Whoopi should get a T-shirt that reads, "'Go Fuck Yourself' -Dick Cheney" and march into Slim-Fast's corporate offices. What could be more patriotic than echoing the sentiments of the vice president? On second thought, maybe we should all just avoid Slim-Fast from here on out. If nothing else, Whoopi now has something in common with Nicole and Jeff Rank, the above-mentioned couple arrested in Charleston. Not only did the Ranks face a court appearance (the charges were dropped), but Nicole Rank learned that, as a result of the incident -- and, implicitly, her deeper love for America than for the little Dauphin from Crawford -- she had been relieved of her job with the Federal Emergency Management Agency. I used to work for the federal government. It is really hard to be fired from the federal government. Apparently, it's not hard anymore, especially if you wear the wrong T-shirt. "We sang the National Anthem," a dazed and confused Jeff Rank told a Charleston reporter. "We weren't doing anything wrong." Oh, yes you were, Mr. Rank. You assumed that you still live in a free country. As my old warehouse supervisor used to shout at me: "Never assume anything, Bisbort! It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'!"
George W. Bush is making an ass out of u and me on a daily basis. Indeed, everywhere he roams these days on his non-stop taxpayer-funded campaign tour, Bush is hounded by protesters holding signs declaring their love for America and their loathing for him. And everywhere there is any chance that his glazed and gimlet eyes might chance upon any hint of negativity the Republican advance SWAT team has set up "Free Speech Zones. far from any event where Bush, or any Republican, might be. They are as out of sight and out of mind as those flag-draped coffins that keep returning from Iraq.
The American Civil Liberties Union has begun compiling cases like the Fourth of July arrest of the Ranks in Charleston. Among the dozens the ACLU has documented of police arresting and removing people with anti-Bush signs from Bush administration public appearances, are: March 27, 2001, Kalamazoo, Mich. ; Feb. 6, 2002, Evansville, Ind. ; April 29, 2002, Albuquerque, N.M.; Aug. 23, 2002, Stockton, Calif. ; Sept. 2, 2002, Neville Island, Penn.; Sept. 22, 2002, Trenton, N.J. ; Sept. 27, 2002, Phoenix; Oct. 24, 2002, Columbia, S.C. ; Nov. 4, 2002, St. Louis ; Jan. 22, 2003, St. Louis; June 17, 2003, Washington, D.C. ; June 23, 2003, Richmond, Va. ; Jan. 8, 2004, Knoxville, Tenn.
The other day in Pennsylvania, a group of teens, angry about Bush's environment policies (and their ineligibility to vote him out of office), made placards that bore innocuous messages like "More Trees, Less Bush." They were standing on the side of a highway along which the Bush campaign caravan passed. They swear that, when the president's bus passed by, the commander in chief flipped them his middle finger.
Do you detect any geographical pattern here? Neither do I. These cases are all over the map, all over the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Who will the Thought Police nab next? U or me?
Alan Bisbort Hartford Advocate
Their crime: wearing T-shirts at a public event. Inscribed on the T-shirts was a message that declared their love for America and their loathing for its unelected leader. I, personally, believe these two messages go hand in hand, but then I don't live in the former Confederate stronghold of Charleston. So I guess it doesn't concern me.
I live closer to bastions of Happiness-pursuing like Albany, N.Y., where last year a man was arrested for trespassing in a shopping mall because he sported an anti-Bush T-shirt. I live closer to such Laps of Liberty as Cooperstown, where Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins were banned last year because they don't love George W. Bush as much as they love America.
I live in Connecticut, the state where Whoopi Goldberg makes her home. Last week, Whoopi was verbally whoopin' George W. Bush's ass at a private gathering in New York. A few days later, Whoopi was told by a corporate sponsor (Slim-Fast) that she was being relieved of her contract as their spokesperson. Her crime: loving the First Amendment more than she loves George W. Bush. Maybe Whoopi should get a T-shirt that reads, "'Go Fuck Yourself' -Dick Cheney" and march into Slim-Fast's corporate offices. What could be more patriotic than echoing the sentiments of the vice president? On second thought, maybe we should all just avoid Slim-Fast from here on out. If nothing else, Whoopi now has something in common with Nicole and Jeff Rank, the above-mentioned couple arrested in Charleston. Not only did the Ranks face a court appearance (the charges were dropped), but Nicole Rank learned that, as a result of the incident -- and, implicitly, her deeper love for America than for the little Dauphin from Crawford -- she had been relieved of her job with the Federal Emergency Management Agency. I used to work for the federal government. It is really hard to be fired from the federal government. Apparently, it's not hard anymore, especially if you wear the wrong T-shirt. "We sang the National Anthem," a dazed and confused Jeff Rank told a Charleston reporter. "We weren't doing anything wrong." Oh, yes you were, Mr. Rank. You assumed that you still live in a free country. As my old warehouse supervisor used to shout at me: "Never assume anything, Bisbort! It makes an 'ass' out of 'u' and 'me'!"
George W. Bush is making an ass out of u and me on a daily basis. Indeed, everywhere he roams these days on his non-stop taxpayer-funded campaign tour, Bush is hounded by protesters holding signs declaring their love for America and their loathing for him. And everywhere there is any chance that his glazed and gimlet eyes might chance upon any hint of negativity the Republican advance SWAT team has set up "Free Speech Zones. far from any event where Bush, or any Republican, might be. They are as out of sight and out of mind as those flag-draped coffins that keep returning from Iraq.
The American Civil Liberties Union has begun compiling cases like the Fourth of July arrest of the Ranks in Charleston. Among the dozens the ACLU has documented of police arresting and removing people with anti-Bush signs from Bush administration public appearances, are: March 27, 2001, Kalamazoo, Mich. ; Feb. 6, 2002, Evansville, Ind. ; April 29, 2002, Albuquerque, N.M.; Aug. 23, 2002, Stockton, Calif. ; Sept. 2, 2002, Neville Island, Penn.; Sept. 22, 2002, Trenton, N.J. ; Sept. 27, 2002, Phoenix; Oct. 24, 2002, Columbia, S.C. ; Nov. 4, 2002, St. Louis ; Jan. 22, 2003, St. Louis; June 17, 2003, Washington, D.C. ; June 23, 2003, Richmond, Va. ; Jan. 8, 2004, Knoxville, Tenn.
The other day in Pennsylvania, a group of teens, angry about Bush's environment policies (and their ineligibility to vote him out of office), made placards that bore innocuous messages like "More Trees, Less Bush." They were standing on the side of a highway along which the Bush campaign caravan passed. They swear that, when the president's bus passed by, the commander in chief flipped them his middle finger.
Do you detect any geographical pattern here? Neither do I. These cases are all over the map, all over the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Who will the Thought Police nab next? U or me?
Alan Bisbort Hartford Advocate
